Emasculation of White Western Males
I have been a victim back in the West. I think that a lot of the problem lies with brainwashing at an early age with nursery rhymes about girls being sugar and spice and all things nice and boys being snails and puppy dog tails! It goes on that boys shouldn't hit girls but girls are allowed to hit boys with impunity!
Later on we move into courtship. Though we try every trick in the book, it's women who decide when sex will occur. This forces a lot of men into doing anything they can to get a 'jump' and let's face it, when you are in your late teens and early twenties most men's hormones are so raging that they would shag anything and shrug it off stating '… a shag's a shag!' We have been forced down this road due to the banning of prostitution and the 'right of passage'. Women know we have but one real option – to wait for them!
Emotional blackmail is their stock in trade. We've seen women establish this very early in the relationship over sex! The soaps and soppy romance dramas compound this time and time again – men should wait until women feel totally comfortable and have deemed her 'man' worthy of her fruits! Basically, he's racked up enough frequent flyer mileage to warrant his advancement to the next level! Men have this rammed down their throats so much that they think it is the only option they have! Thus they will often do or say anything to get into her knickers. From her stand point she can just as quickly turn off the supply as to let it flow. You pander to her emotional blackmail and you get a 'BJ'. You go against her wishes and you are out in the cold and forced to take matters into your own hands!
Enter the new 'lad' who basically plays their game but gives himself options. He'll probably have a number of prospects on the go so that he gives himself more odds on hitting home base and getting laid. There is nothing wrong with getting laid and it's a totally natural act. However, gone are the days when we can grab the nearest wench and give her one. We now have to go through such a song and dance some men are fighting this by playing the numbers game! Nice one lads – you know it makes sense.
This emotional blackmail pretty much runs through the length of a relationship with a western woman. I know and fell for it too, though I didn't realise that I was being taken advantage of. Indeed, I thought that I was demonstrating my love for my wife in a far more acceptable manner than my father and those of his generation and before. We've been taught how the western male can't communicate his emotions to his wife / girlfriend and fails to listen to her 'needs'! To prove we have evolved, many of this generation capitulated and gave her her way lovingly, proud that we knew how to listen. It basically goes 'If you love me you would <enter demand of the moment>. I took that as a buying signal to prove my love every time. Yet is was a one way street!
We now know that this prodigious use of emotional blackmail goes all the way through to the end game; divorce and child custody. Consequently, many men come out here to Thailand to start again and to 'get over' a very messy divorce in which they've been given the right royal shaft! We really are victims of abuse at this point in so much as the love and affection we have sought has often been denied us on a whim and bartered for with concessions that our trust in the female species is minimal. Enter Noi / Cat / Orr / Bee / Nit et al and we just can't believe that a woman can be so endearing and affectionate. We've found Utopia and the Holy Grail in one shot. The mind games played by Western Women appear to be absent – they are so giving and appear undemanding that we totally revise our strategy in dealing with the female of the species. This is where the trap is often sprung!
In short, our journey to Thailand has been so fraught with emotional blackmail and a screwed system of justice in the West, you have to ask is it any wonder that we don't know up from down. As is pointed out though, it's important to spend time on research before jumping back in to the mix. By all means, satisfy the libido short time but keep it at that. Take the time to observe relationships around you and try to identify patterns of behaviour both in your fellow white Western men and Thai women. Talk to as many people as you can but above all follow your instincts. They have been working for you for millions and millions of years before man learned to use logic. If you think you are being taken for a ride say 'No' in a kind and forceful way. It has worked for me and I have come to realise over the years that most women like their man to partly be their 'Father'. Daddy decides when she should be 'treated', 'scolded' and when she should be 'spanked'! They will respect you for setting boundaries and they will even love you more for caring enough to enforce them when necessary.