Readers' Submissions

Bargirl Experience – Being Careful But Not Too Careful

  • Written by Robert
  • June 1st, 2009
  • 12 min read



I recently returned from a six week trip to LOS, punctuated by a visit from my wife for the middle two weeks.

On the first evening I went to Rolling Stone 2 Bar in Pattaya as I like the music there and was interested to look for a girl (30 years old) with whom I had a great "girlfriend experience" on my previous trip, three months earlier. I sat down and it wasn’t long before she appeared. No, she didn’t have a customer, and we carried on where we left off. Went back next day and she was well into celebrating a friend’s birthday and we had a great time again. I told her I wanted to make a trip to Khao Phra Wiharn in E-san and asked ifshe would she like to come along. Yes, she would.

The next night I decided to look elsewhere and went home alone. The fourth night I met up with a male friend and we drifted over to RS2. The girl was not there and after a while she appeared with a customer. OK, I thought, but then she came up to me with a sad expression and told me he had barfined her for six nights. So I went touring the gogo bars and ended up with a 19 year-old who was a waste of time. Next morning I was not feeling too good about Pattaya.

That evening I decided to look elsewhere for a travelling companion and I went to a bar where I had previously taken four girls, three very good and one excellent. I had already asked about the excellent one but the mamasan had told me she was on a long-term mission with a customer. I walked into the bar and there she was right by the door – lesson here: never believe the mamasan, always go look for yourself. The girl grabbed my wrist and led me to a table, beaming happily. Did I want to barfine her? I was surprised to be asked so soon but did not hesitate. She said she had to go drink a shot of tequila and came back to explain to another customer who had asked to barfine her as just as I walked in, he had bought the tequila. We left the bar and wound up at Kam Pun in Soi 2 which is great for Thai music. Now, I had been with this girl twice before and she had been superb – great GFE and exceptional skills in bed. I had not seen her for 8 months and we talked non-stop all evening. In bed as I relaxed afterwards, she asked was it good. I told her truthfully no woman had been so good to me, not even her!

We went on our trip to Khao Phra Wiharn, the border fighting there had resumed so we could not go to the temple just across the Cambodian border but we had a great time. We returned on the train in a first class compartment and just talked, played, and laughed for hours. She told me great stories about her customers and I about my wives. Then she suddenly she said “I want you boom-boom me no condom”. I was really surprised. I told her she was really sweet for asking but we should let it hang for a couple of days to check we were sure about it. It’s time to give some details about this girl.

She is 39. Has three kids, all 18 to 20. Usual story of Thai man who butterflied in abundance and beat her and raped her. She has an amazing body and looks younger than her age. She holds herself very well and has great charm. Smart too. She worked in factories, building sites etc until she went to Pattaya when 37 after her son was arrested for drug-running and she needed money. She has a good client list of regulars who she goes with on a long-term basis when they come to LOS. She bought some land in Ayuttaya years before which she dreams of developing into rooms for migrant workers from E-san. She talks constantly about “heart”. She goes to the temple to make “good heart”, she gives money to orphans etc for the same reason and she told me she was giving me her heart, “take good care my heart” she told me constantly.

After we returned to Pattaya, I got a text from my RS2 girl, “how are you” it read. I thought, OK you are back, so I told heart girl we would have to part. She had been gone 30 minutes when I got another text from RS2 girl to say her customer was barfining her for another three days, so I phoned heart girl to ask if she wanted to come back. “Wait me” she said. She had made an arrangement with one of her expatriate regulars but made an excuse and soon she was back with me.

For the next three days we were again inseparable. She never left my side although she did get plenty of phone calls from her regulars, I made her tell me who it was calling at the beginning each time and then I was happy to listen to her side of the conversation; often it was funny. I was getting the best sex I had had for 20 years, more likely ever (we had jettisoned the condoms by now, we both got checked first and she explained she had had her tubes tied and also took the pill to regulate her periods). And I was so happy talking with her. It was intoxicating. I had forgotten how much fun it can be to be with a girl. I stared to fall in love. I told her I would look at her land to see if it was a good proposition for investment. I was pained at the idea of leaving her even for two weeks. I said nothing but I was very tempted to make plans to leave home and come live with her. The time came for me to go meet my wife at the airport and somehow I tore myself away. Heart girl was scheduled to go on a trip abroad with a customer, returning three days after my wife left LOS. Her phone was not set up for roaming so we did not talk for a week. Meanwhile I spoke with some expats who helped me put into perspective some important things, such as the defects of my home relationship needed to be addressed independently of my feelings for this girl. Also that living with a Thai girl is not always a bed of roses.

The day my wife was leaving LOS, I get a call from heart girl. She was at the airport and had changed her flight to come home early. We arranged to meet at the airport (she had to wait there five hours for me) and the whole thing took off again. I reasoned the only thing to do was to go with the experience. We went to Siam Reap, Ko Chang, and then Ayuttaya to look at her land. I had the feeling that my body (I mean my whole body, not just the genitals) was living this experience, that my mind had a limited role; being with her was overpowering and I felt totally content. I liked her stories about her customers. Her regulars all wanted her to stop working bar and I heard them say this on the phone to her. She told them she had to work to make money and she would stop if they sent her 40,000 baht per month but they did not want to do this so they kept phoning rather pathetically to tell her how much they loved her and missed her – she never told them she loved them. She had five offers of marriage on the table, all from men who were in a position to marry but she refused because her heart told her no. Then there were the one-nighters, one banker from London had had her six times in one night. I reassured her that now we had all been well and truly f*cked by the bankers. There were customers who would not pay, customers who paid double the agreed price, customers who complained. She said it was “only action” with all her customers but she had asked Buddha for a special man and it seemed she had made up her mind I was that man. She liked it that I prayed at the temples with her and that I enjoyed Thai food and music. I was careful not to tell her I loved her but I told her I liked being with her very much.

While I was with her, I met many members of her family (including all of her children) and people who were special to her because they had been friends at the factory or had looked after her or her children. Everyone looked at me as her boyfriend but I knew I was not. I was a customer. As the time for me to go home approached, I was kind of hoping something negative would appear otherwise I was not sure if I could tear myself away, and it did. After I looked at her land and got some figures for building costs and rental income, I told her I was not interested in investing in it. I recommended that she sell the land. She was disappointed but not angry. She said she would keep the land.

After we went to see her son who she was paying 3000 baht per month to study electrics, I pointed out that he had a lot of space to live in. I asked could he share to save money or get somewhere smaller or could he get a part-time job? She did not get angry but she did not like me saying these things. I was thinking if I was paying her money every month I would soon get pissed off at the money she was sending him. As it was I could just shrug and say it’s your money, up to you.

On our last evening in Pattaya, I told her I wanted to go say goodbye to RS2 girl. We wanted to listen to the music there but I said I needed to check whether the girl was OK with me bringing another girl. I spoke to RS2 girl and she was so nice. I felt sad I had not been able to spend more time with her. She told me she did not want me to bring heart girl to the bar. After that, heart girl and I went to Kam Pun but she had finely tuned antennae to my mood and she soon realised I was sad for leaving RS2 girl. She started to get shirty with me and was on the point of leaving when she suddenly relented, cried a little bit and then we had one final night of high emotion and passion. She made it very clear that after her experience with her Thai man, she would never tolerate butterflying from someone she cared about. I know she means this because I saw her push away one customer she liked quite and who had been very generous with her who wanted to share her with another girl.

By the time I left her, I already knew I would have problems if I stayed with her again but it still broke my heart to go. I spent 24 days and nights with her and almost every moment was total bliss. I’m sure she did give me her heart a little bit. Nobody can fake that 24 hours a day for 24 days. She took fantastic care of me and she was great at getting the best deals on rooms etc. She had no problem eating street food every meal. Everywhere we went I could just relax while she busied around, checking bus times, hotel rates etc. Occasionally she asked me for a small gift if she saw something she liked. In this way I spent a total of about 1,000 baht. Obviously I paid for all meals, travel, rooms etc, and I paid her barfines and a daily rate of 1,500. Her other customers all pay 2,000+.

On the day I left, I knew I had to go home to absorb all my experiences. So much had happened. I didn’t know if I would go back to her or if she would want me to. She might well take up one of those offers of marriage. One time she asked me if I would leave my wife and marry her. I told her no. I did know I would never forget her.

After I got home, I resisted the temptation to phone her. Then we did speak and now we talk regularly. She tells me about her customers and whilst this hurts a little, I do find it fascinating and I would so much rather this than be told lies. I have arranged to return next month. We are both counting the days.

She has said that she plans to leave the bar scene in one year. My take on her is that she is possibly hoping I might leave my wife by this time, or at least be able to spend big chunks of time in Thailand. I have mentioned that I would not consider having any sort of relationship with a Thai girl until I had known her for a full year. Meanwhile she is keeping a close eye on her marriage proposals, her insurance policy.

Stickman's thoughts:

I can't help but feel that you're on dangerous ground with this one. You well and truly crossed the point from casual fling to something much more. In fact, it's more like the situation when a woman has an affair and she gives a bit of her heart – as you seem to have here. I'd be wary of the situation on the home front. Women have a sixth sense and it's clear from reading this that you are smitten with this woman. There is every chance that your wife may feel that something is up.

Do let us know what happens next!