Stickman Readers' Submissions May 12th, 2009

You Couldn’t Make It Up!

I must start with apologies yet again. I had promised that my previous submission would be the last about my ‘TGF’ and her requests for money.

It was not to be. I really did think after the last episode that she had written me off as a source of charitable funding. I had written her off as a money-grabbing Thai girl who was possibly working the farang donations system – and had said as much to her in what I thought would be my last text / SMS message to her a week or so ago.

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Yesterday (Friday) I received five text messages from her within thirty minutes. In summary, the content was that although she knew I did not trust her, this request for money was not for her but was for her son (about 9 or 10 years old now).

The request was for 15,000 baht to pay for school uniform, shoes and books. As far as I know, son is in school in Udon Thani where he lives with his paternal grandparents.

Readers of my previous submissions will know that my ‘TGF’ and I spent a great deal of time discussing our future together and this included her son. It all turned to rat shit in the end.

Her text / SMS messages all mentioned that she had no-one else to turn to ‘only you’ but it was the last one that really got to me. In that one she said that she had told (son’s name) that she had asked me for help and that (son’s name) was waiting to hear the outcome of her request.

Having previously decided to ignore any and all messages from her, this is the point at which I went stupid. I used my land-line to call her. She answered (that’s never happened before but I guess it was because my landline didn’t show her caller ID) and we had our first conversation for months. I explained various things to her (including that the bank was closed for hand-outs) and mentioned that I had been annoyed that she couldn’t even bother to send e-mails.

No surprise that a couple of hours later I received an e-mail from her. Very brief – she misses me (of course) and is sorry she made me angry. I don’t know what ‘naja’ means or even whether it’s Thai or text-speak. Followed up by a couple more text / SMS messages reminding me that her son was waiting …

A couple of months ago ‘TGF’ told me that she had changed her ‘official’ first name. I asked for advice about this and learned that this is not uncommon and is sometimes done to improve karma or luck.

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Whether intentionally or not, the e-mail included an invitation to join her ‘msn Live’ network, listed under her new name ‘K’. I’m not really familiar with this sort of stuff, nor particularly interested in it. But out of interest I ‘clicked’ on the links. No photo, a brief introduction message (also used that word ‘naja’). The big surprise came when I ‘clicked’ on the ‘profile’ option.

There were only two details listed, ‘K’ is 35 and male.

Gosh. Ex-TGF is 28 (or at least that’s what she and Momma told me and what her passport and other documents say) and I am sure that she is now and always has been female. (I know katoys can be convincing but they can’t give birth, can they? Not yet, anyway.) So WTF, and who the hell is ‘K’ or whoever posted this profile? Husband, lover, brother (she has one who could be 35)? It was definitely ex-TGF I spoke to on the telephone.

I really can’t be bothered to think about it any more. So why are you writing about, I hear you ask. Two reasons. First, to work it out of my system. Second, to add to the encyclopaedia of knowledge about Thais that is the ‘Stick’ site.

This morning (Saturday), four text / SMS messages within half an hour reminding me that son is anxiously waiting for money. I have not replied yet but I think my response has to be a polite version of a ‘cease and desist’ notification.

If I were a complete idiot (some readers will say I already have been) instead of just your average old fool I could have gone along with this. Ex-TGF is extremely convincing on the phone and I suspect that Momma knows a lot more than she lets on. The most charitable (unfortunate choice of words given the circumstances) view I can take of Momma is that she knows what’s happening (I can even imagine her wincing and thinking ‘Oh no, not again’) but has to remain silent because of ‘face’ and maternal loyalty.

I can do without the ex-TGF shit right now because …

You couldn’t make it up – part 2. I have previously mentioned ‘W’, a lovely Filippina platonic friend. We had arranged on Thursday that she would come here to help me clean the apartment and do some cooking on Friday afternoon. Friday morning, she called me to say that she would be bringing a friend with her. A ‘blind date’ is how she described it. And only an hour late (but I’m used to working on Filippina time) they arrived.

Her friend ‘J’ is 40, has been here for six years, has one adult child and was extremely shy and quiet – unlike ‘W’ who has learned colloquial English to the extent that her favourite phrase is ‘Bollocks, mate’. Plans for cleaning and cooking were abandoned and ‘W’ was left (so I thought) to spend the afternoon surfing the internet. I took ‘J’ to a very nice 5 star hotel a few minutes walk away where we spent a couple of hours sitting on a terrace in the sunshine looking over the Med, drinking excellent cappucinos and talking. ‘J’ is (or at least seems to be at this early stage) a very nice lady, and I am reassured because she was introduced to me by ‘W’.

I dropped ‘J’ off after our very pleasant afternoon text / SMS messages were exchanged and we have a dinner date tonight. The afternoon was exactly what I needed as an antidote to the ex-TGF crap, and I hope that the dinner date will continue the therapy.

And when I returned to the apartment I found that ‘W’ had cleaned it top to bottom. We will have an argument about this because she will refuse to accept payment and pull out her mobile phone where she has noted every penny I ever lent her or gave her when she needed a bit of help. (Which, incidentally, is far less – a small percentage – of what ex-TGF extracted.)

At this very early stage I have a good feeling about ‘J’. There is no great age difference. She is attractive (beautiful eyes) without being glamorous. Her English (as with many Filippinas) is excellent and so (and I believe that this is crucial) we can communicate effectively. She seems to be a lovely lady. Also – and I think that this is important too – I was not looking for a girlfriend/partner/whatever. This just seems to have somehow happened, with a match-making input from ‘W’, of course.

So all in all an interesting day, the common link being SE Asian women. I report it as it happens.

Stickman's thoughts:

I think there comes a time with Thai exes that you just have to cut them off. My experience in the past is that they can become really draining and also engage in emotional BS, such as she did by saying her son was waiting to hear back about the money. And 15K baht needed? Not if he is going to a typical rural government school… (It is quite plausible for a private school, in fact the sky is the limit!)

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