Stickman Readers' Submissions May 5th, 2009

The Other Side Of The Coin

I have been an avid reader of the readers’ submissions on Stickman for roughly the past two months. I only came across the website because I had my own personal problems with an Asian woman and needed some sort of guidance or access to a forum where others could share their experiences. Without being accused of hyperbole I can safely say that the Stickman website has helped me immensely and stopped me from making decisions that would have ruined my life to the extent that I would potentially have seen fit to end it all. I now believe that I have a clear mind when it comes to thinking about my current situation when communicating with the woman I met in Cambodia.

Just recently two friends and I travelled from Europe to the US for a four day drinking holiday. We headed to Chicago (very cheap flights and a good deal in the hotel, plus my mates paid for me) just to get away from everything, for a few days and to momentarily forget everything at home and reconnect in a way we used to when we were schoolboys. My two friends are married to girls they met when in their early twenties. They are now happily married and raising kids. I on the other hand am 38 years of age and have been around. I am not married and don’t feel any real compunction to get hitched. I have been close once or twice but never went through with it and now I find myself living at home with the parents with no job and no money. Not a great situation to be in but thankfully I am responsible for no one else but myself. Nobody depends on me. My situation will improve again at some stage; it is the law of the pendulum.

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I am, to be frank, addicted to Asian women. I believe their physical beauty to be ethereal and positively enchanting. There are beautiful women all over the world but Asian women seem to be something out of this world. That is, they make me feel physically ugly and the language barrier just adds to the effect that they are of another world. A higher order of beings if you will. I am just not in their class and when I travel to SE Asia and these goddesses are willing to sleep with me it is like a pubescent teenager’s wet dream come true.

I mentioned Chicago earlier because it has some bearing on my slavery to SE Asian women. As my mates and I walked around the city of Chicago I noticed beautiful women of all races. I especially noticed the Asian women. To me it was seeing them out of context; they were wearing very rich and expensive western clothing and didn’t make eye contact with me whenever they walked by. How they carried themselves was not as demure as I have experienced out East. The epiphany came when I overheard their conversations. They spoke 100% fluent English with an American twang. If I closed my eyes there would be no difference between how this Asian goddess spoke and another typical American girl. This made me realise that they are no different from any other woman on the planet. They are in fact human and not of a higher order of spiritual beings. As I have said before we don’t know how good we have it in the West but my opinion has changed a bit since that last submission.

Of course we are a lot richer in the west and generally speaking we are in a better position for enjoying the benefits of technology, education, travel, and health care. The Asian women I saw
in Chicago walked and talked and generally carried themselves in a manner that was exactly like a Westerner. That is they walked like they were in a hurry, talking on the mobile phone, rushing from A to B, not taking in what was going on around
them and basically in a bubble formed by their own little pseudo successful world. I am pretty sure that these women are second or third generation Asian but how they carry themselves is from their own personal life experience rather than anything
to do with genetics. They were still stunningly beautiful but now westernised. The Asian, welcoming, saving face, land of smiles attitude was totally absent. They were Americans with an Asian family history.

On our travels from bar to bar we happened upon a sex shop. Basically it sold DVDs and sex aids. Being drunk I got talking to the proprietor and mentioned that I had spent some time in SE Asia. He was intrigued and wanted to know all about the ladies I had met in my travels. He told me about his Philippine girlfriend. As the conversation progressed I realised that he had never seen her and that he had three previous Philippine girlfriends that he had never met. It was all conducted through the internet. Seriously, that is the power of an Asian woman over a ‘Comic book Guy’ sort of chap. If you are pathetic and not in control of your own life it is very easy to succumb to the powers of a succubus such as an unbelievably beautiful Asian woman willing to drain you of all your savings. If he really wanted an Asian woman they are walking around the streets outside his shop. Why did he have to connect with them online? It is the illusion of them rather than the reality that he was looking for.

Okay, maybe I’m not making any real sense here so far but I just wanted to get that image across before I continue. From what I have seen and experienced, most SE Asian women who are of any social standing in their own country will not be seen to be speaking with a foreigner. Granted women who attain the level of a University education standard are permitted to talk with farang who are also involved in the education process or are of an equally acceptable social standing. An Asian girl that is seen speaking to a farang (or barang) who is just a single man on his holidays is deemed to be on the make or looking to score something from him. He is looking for sex and if she is talking to him then she must at the very least be contemplating supplying him with it for her own ends.

What I have come to realise is that the kind of girl most sex tourists engage with in SE Asia is the kind of girl they wouldn’t deal with at home. This is all well and good if the sex tourist goes home after a few weeks and nothing more becomes of it. Usually though they fall in ‘love’ and things get complicated. Just because he has fallen in love with her it doesn’t follow that she was waiting there all her life for him to suddenly appear. She has several other guys in love with her too and she is weighing up her options.

Most of the experiences I have read about on the Stickman website involve an older guy who is not in control of his life (at least emotionally) falling in love with a much younger Asian woman and then we see how everything goes pear-shaped. That is the stereo-typical story and it is an ingenious trap whereby you are told not to get involved, much like the nicotine trap whereby you are warned before you ever have your first cigarette that this is the wrong thing to do and you will end up being sorry but still you light up that first cigarette. Not having the next cigarette is seen as painful (cold turkey) but the next cigarette is never acknowledged as continuing the addiction. Most guys believe that this girl is different and not the same as the other gold diggers. The strongest argument for this is that she is older (hitting thirty or thirty five) and not looking to play me for a fool, rather she is looking for a strong western male to rescue her and take care of her. Wow, what an ego boost for the guy!

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The fact is that most of the Asian girls know just as much about western civilisation as we do about eastern civilisation. They believe that every guy that shows up is a millionaire and lives somewhere comparable to Beverly Hills. The fact is if a guy is a millionaire and has the money to travel around the world on his own agenda and at his own speed why would he get involved with a girl working in a bar who is obviously opening her legs for other guys every other night of the week?

When any of us guys with a few euro or dollars in our pockets arrive to the sweetshop of SE Asia, with an empty feeling in our heart and a cock made of cast iron we are only going to attract one particular type of woman. That is not to say that all these women are vultures ready to feed on the emotionally dying sad saps of the west but like attracts like and if you aren’t really happy with your lot in life (one of the reasons you are in Thailand for a start) you are going to attract someone of the same calibre in the East.

I personally respect prostitutes that don’t try to pretend they are something else. I also respect men that go to SE Asia for a sex holiday and treat the prostitutes with respect and conduct honest business dealings. It is a mistake to believe you can go to SE on a holiday and fall in true genuine love with one of the locals. It is also a mistake for one of the locals to get involved with a sex tourist.

After much arguing and misunderstandings either a marriage or at least an agreement is arrived at and the girl finds herself living in the west. After the initial exciting pleasure of experiencing a new country the home-sickness sets in. This is to be expected and most of the time it is dealt with correctly. After that she realises that the hunky and successful farang she is living with is not so hunky and successful. Now she is with someone that is emotionally challenged, he has hang ups about his past relationships, his looks, his paranoia that she was originally a bar girl and now maybe she will do the same when he is out at work. She realises that he is just an ordinary Joe Soap living in suburbia, with a boring job and a boring lifestyle involving working everyday and eating dinner in front of the TV watching the usual soap opera crap. She will have more English than he does Thai and if she gets the chance to improve her English she will realise that both her husband and all his friends are just in the same position as she was with her friends back home. Granted in the west there is more money etc but the whole spiritual aspect and experience of life is the same (we are born, we die, it is up to us how we live our life) but now she is away from her family and friends. She is away from the beautiful weather and …. frankly she is now separated from the paradise she lived in.

This isn’t paradise, my husband is a slob who likes to eat really crap food, he doesn’t shower the attention on me that he used to do, and in fact he doesn’t shower as much as he used to do when I first met him. It is cold here, most people look at me as if I was a slut and show no real respect for me, I don’t know what they are saying or thinking half the time. I was in control back home now I only feel anger and resentment towards him. I am expected to stay at home every day and speak to his mother and family who always patronise me and speak louder when addressing me. When he arrives home from work I am expected to smile, lay on my back, open my legs and accept his fat hairy stomach bearing down on me. What have I done?

I wonder if there is an equivalent Stickman website for the Asian girls we are all so crazy on.

Stickman's thoughts:

You have described a very small microcosm of Farangdom and Asian women and suggested that this model applies to the majority. It doesn't.

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