Stickman Readers' Submissions May 20th, 2009

The Night From Hell

Here is a little story about a recent evening I had with a girl from our favorite bar. It is not nearly as dramatic as the events that some of your readers write about, but I might argue that it is perhaps more typical of what might happen to the average
Joe. It's probably too long to use as a letter, and too short for a reader submission, but it nonetheless provides me with come catharsis.

Just when I thought it was all coming together, it all blew up in my face. Last night, I paid bar for my dream girl at my favorite bar, as planned. We went to a place that has live music and were having a fun time, and then it happened. My
dream was actually a nightmare. I should have seen some of the early warning signals, which in hindsight were there. But, things were going so well that they weren't apparent to me. She started losing focus, could not maintain a thought,
was wobbling, setting her drink down in the food, etc., etc. And then she totally imploded, could not sit in a chair, ended up on the ground writhing, threw up, and was generally out of control. The staff literally had to drag her (she was only
semi-conscious) into the ladies room, where she proceeded to barf her guts out. Then she became inert on the floor, out cold, and no one could move her.

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The problem was, "what to do now?" I was not in a position to carry her back to her bar, and the staff could not even lift her, because she was dead weight. It was decided that I go to her bar and get a friend to come and take care
of her, which I did. I found some of her friends, told them of her condition, and they appeared mildly concerned. Then the negotiations began. They wanted me to barfine 2 of them to go to her, but I wanted to barfine only one. In the end, I capitulated
to this demand, since I really didn't have any bargaining chips – they held all of them. Then, they insisted that I buy them a drink. Of course, I had no choice but to do so. They finally got around to changing into street clothes, and we
went to get her, with them laughing and joking all the way. Some friends.

At the bar, my nightmare girl was finally emerging from her total stupor, and was at least mumbling inanities – a step above being inert on the floor. Her friends then stepped in to help bring her back to life. I waited in the bar area, and
after about 20 minutes, one of the friends appeared and said they were going to take her home. She said that I should give the girl the short time rate, and give them a gratuity for their services. At least I now held the chips, and politely declined,
saying that while I was being asked to give, give, give, no one was giving me anything except pain and aggravation. The two friends then half-carried, half-dragged her out of the bar. If I see them at the bar again, I will buy them a drink or
something. I just wasn't up for extortion at that moment.

Is there a moral to this story? Actually, not much of one that is original. Basically, you never know what you're getting when you take a girl out of the bar. I've been in the game a long time, know it pretty well, had known the
girl for a couple of months and had had an earlier evening with her that was quite satisfactory. The 'general rule' that I will take out of this is that one should be wary of any girl who is wild and energetic beyond the norm. They are
likely to be on something, and it could blow up in you face. Other than that, it just reiterates the point made time and again about the problems that can occur with bar girls. I won't stop taking them, of course, but my defences will be
up a little higher based on this experience.

Stickman's thoughts:

Yep, that sure does sound like a nightmare! I wonder how much she had to drink before that happened?

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