My Wife’s Thoughts
I have been reading Stickman's for 4 years now and read most all the back letters and weekly reports. I seem to see a pattern with the Thai ladies and only see a few happy men reporting their stories. So after readily the latest horror story, I spoke to my wife and told her she was my not so Thai, Thai wife. This lead to a discussion. I told her of all the things I read about Thai ladies on Stickman's and so I came to the conclusion that she must not really be Thai.
MONEY BEFORE MARRIAGE. I see all the time men giving large sums and monthly money to Thai girlfriend, bar girl, and future wife. Many say they are told it is "Thai culture" to support a lady you are dating. My wife says this is wrong! A lady who asks for or takes money before marriage is not good Thai lady. We talked about a friend of a friend who was doing this (not a bar girl) even with full intention of marrying the guy and she did and came to US. Lucky for him so far. But my wife still felt this was wrong. When we were dating she refused any money, gift and things for children. She told me it was wrong.
SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. I see all the time men who meet "good Thai Lady" but still end up in bed after one or two dates. They may be even the first (haha). They think they are special. Warning bells should be going off. My wife would not even be alone with me for the first two weeks I visited. One friend was always with us. I received one small kiss when I left to go back to US. Wife told me she only has sex with her husband and does not date anyone unless she thinks that she may marry them. Dating is not for playing around.
After several visits and wedding date set she did stay with me at my hotel. But it was her under covers and me on top of covers. Nothing too intimate was allowed. Now once married she is mine and very willing to take care of me in bed.
FARANG PAY ALL BILLS. Most stories farang pay bills and every one goes along. The whole family is invited and all the neighbors come over and a big booze bill follows. My last visit, we ate out larger dinners five times, I paid for two. Two other relatives paid, and one was free from my wife's friend from childhood. I let my wife know up front I am not made of money. One time at a store buying food and things for us, a family member started to add shoes and a few things. We had a discussion about that when we got back. It is fine if asked or I offer, but NEVER just expect me to pay. It has not happened again.
SUPPORT FAMILY. Stories about giving money for family on and on driving the people to running away or being ready to scream. My wife has not asked for family funds. When visiting I give her a small amount to give away as she wishes. Her sister one time wanted more money and it really upset my wife and she did not want to ask me for more for her. I caught on to the discussion with her sister and told her when we left if we had extra left we would help more and she was very happy with this.
In the US my wife has not asked for support for family at all. This last Christmas (2 years US) I gave my wife an offer of 3000 baht per month for mother, her Christmas present and she was very happy. When it took three months to arrange a card for parents, I told her she could give them 9000 to catch up and she said no, if we give too much then they will expect too much and brother will take the money.
WORTHLESS BROTHERS: Seems all Thai families have one of these. Mine does also. But my wife and I discussed him. He "stays home to help mother and father" wife says he helps them with their money, Haha. She tells me that he is not good. We went down list of sisters and brothers, some she tells me are good Thai ladies, some she not sure, others no good. But she is willing to tell me and talk about them.
CHANGES ONCE IN US: Stickman's articles full of wife gets to US, changes, no sex, moody, money money money and so much more. Mine spoils me. She has been in US two years now, she studies English daily, drivers testing (wants to get job to help out) feeds me, open in bed but lacks experience, tells me of her whole life. Happy with so little, does not like to spend money, hates gambling or drink. Keeps her kids in line, old-fashioned with dealing with them. Also I do SNORE and she tell me but says it is ok. Won't sleep in bed unless I am in the bed. If I get up at 5 am, she gets up makes breakfast and goes back to sleep on the couch.
KIDS: Mine if the wife is sick make me breakfast or coffee. They are A students in school, ask for nothing other then small change and they will not touch even a quarter if left out. 17 year old is in cooking class and feeds me all the American foods she likes to cook. She is very happy when I like the food. They are all required by the mom to clean house, wash dishes by hand, clean the bathroom and learn to cook from scratch. As for boys, that is off limits for them and mom watches carefully.
SECRETS: Articles full of hiding phones calls, husbands and money. My wife has not even asked for a cell phone and did not have one in Thailand. She calls home little and sits with me when she calls. The children's father calls some times to speak to them and she asked if this was OK with me. No issues with money at all.
As an ending to this, it is funny as it is not that I am controlling with her. She knows if she wanted anything she could get it from me, she just does not want these issues. I have been open with her on money since the beginning and she has been respectful of that. She also knows that I have spent very much money on Immigration fees for her and three children and she is grateful for that.
As for her looks, (some may think I must have an ugly one) she is 5'2 and 98 pounds, all cute as can be. My friends kid me that she looks 16 – 20 when she is 40, but she takes care of herself. Many friends ask me about her sisters if they look as good.
So for me my bliss after four years continues and I am happy every day and every way with her. So for those wanting a Thai wife, if you look hard, take your time and be careful what you pick they are out their and some of us have been lucky to find them. People tell me how happy I look.
For others out there in Stickmanland with a good Thai wife, take the time to write your stores. Help even the stories out with some good wives stories.
I agree with pretty much all that your wife says. The crazy thing is you only have to read a small percentage of the stories on this site to be aware of all the dangers and the red flags, yet so many people continue to fall for exactly the same tricks or cons. Sigh, it's as if no-one takes in all the good info in these submissions.