Stickman Readers' Submissions May 5th, 2009

A Thai Girl With Balls

I must start this submission with apologies.

First, I said in my last piece that that would be the last one about this particular Thai girl. I was wrong.

He Clinic Bangkok

Second, in a previous submission I used the technical terms ‘boom-boom’, ‘yum-yum’ and ‘ow-ow’ without attributing them to Dana or at least pointing out from whom I had learned the latter two. In my defence, at that time I was in the process of changing apartments and dependent on wandering wi-fi so was unable to research former submissions properly.

And I add my familiar caveat – that I know nothing about the ‘scene’ in Thailand other than what I learn here and my experiences are purely ‘one on one’ with a girl who happens to be Thai, or rather half Thai, half Lao.

Because every submission here should be ‘freestanding’ I must repeat a few things. I met my ‘TGF’ here in Cyprus. She was living with her Mum (who has been here 20 years) and working with her in a local Thai restaurant. Crap pay, conditions and generally abused but better than home. P and I spent some time together before I succumbed to the white knight syndrome and bought her a ticket home with a plan that she and I could have a life in Thailand together. Wrong plan, went wrong, but I did send her money over about a year.

CBD bangkok

Recently I refused to send her any more money and met Mum (a 4’10” firebrand) to talk about P’s problems. I told her various things – including P’s recent change of ‘formal’ name at the wat, which Mum didn’t know about – Mum spoke to P by phone and the outcome was that P sent me a SMS text message saying ‘don’t contact me again’. Fair enough because that was my plan anyway. Move on, don’t be be so stupid again, all those sort of things (but I can’t deny it hurt).

And then, a week later, I started to receive SMS text messages again.

The first said ‘Can u help me money just 10,000 baht this time’. (Last request was 20,000.)

Then ‘Please help me’.

wonderland clinic

I replied ‘I think you are just making a joke and having a laugh. Mai pen rai. (A mutual friend) says hello’.

Very quickly: ‘Say hello (friend) for me! Ok can you help! I need you help! Me just only this time.’

I replied and told her that she must think I am another stupid farang and that she only cares about money. That I was moving on and one day would find a genuine woman. ‘OK’ she said ‘I hope you happy with new girl but please just help me this last time’. Then ‘I think you very good man and take care me’.

My reply was to the effect that if she could not be bothered to answer her phone, communicate by e-mail and whatever how could she expect anything from me? Her answer: ‘Sorry if I give you problem. I work and I tired’. I was by this time too weary to reply.

But … this morning, three SMS text messages, so far unanswered.

  1. ‘Please, just this time I need your help me! I’m sorry if I make you angry!’
  1. ‘Can u help me!’
  1. ‘Just this time please! I had only u help me! Please.’

Of course, I won’t. But whatever my feelings for her now I admire her for her balls and (as we Brits say) her brass-neck cheek. She knows that I am in contact with Momma and as far as she knows I will relay the messages. As far as P knows I am in contact with at least one of her friends (the one who told me about her new car) and yet she still plays the game.

I was talking a couple of days ago to my friend here about P. He’s been a good mate for about four years, one who applies the brick when needed (a previous submission) and got to know P quite well. Many days he, Momma, P and I would go for lunch together. Some nights he, P and I and would have a drink together after she finished work before P and I wandered off together to spend time alone. He was genuinely shocked when I told him how things had worked out.

He told me/reminded me of some things I didn’t know of or chose to forget at the time. Some of the things were very positive – she wanted everything to be 50/50, she didn’t want any money from me, I was a ‘good man’, jai dee, and how we could make a life together. Others I had chosen to forget – she got a job dancing on stage in a short mini-skirt (‘Don’t tell Momma’), she was chosen as ‘Miss Harley-Davison’, how she could talk to a guy in a bar then ask me ‘Do I make you jealous?’ (Yes of course she did). But also when she told him that when she and I had a life in Thailand together he must come for a visit. And, most poignant of all, how she told us about the day she and I would go to Udon Thani and collect her son to take him to his new life.

One response to a previous submission (and I’m always grateful for them) suggested that she may be as confused as I am. To be honest as a chauvinistic and cynical male I would be tempted (for educational rather than erotic purposes, not that there’s anything wrong with that) to spank her ass until we arrived at some sort of dialogue.

I am, of course, just another stupid and gullible farang, a buffalo. But there is still something that tells me ‘she is different’. More information is needed, and perhaps it is time for another talk with Momma …

Stickman's thoughts:

Good on you for standing up to her. I am appalled at the way too many give in. If she could not be bothered to answer your calls or reply to SMSs and only contacts you when she wants money, she is not worthy of your time.

nana plaza