What The Hell, Give It A Go!
I've just read Hans Mier's Delightful Thai Wife in Europe', and was smiling and reminiscing about the last few months in the UK about me and my Thai wife and thought I'd share with the readers my experiences.
As in Hans experience my wife loves everything, especially as we all know food. The only thing she doesn't like is brown sauce! If we go for a meal and the journey is 30 minutes home she's always got something tucked away to sustain the journey home. All my friends and relatives love her gentle and polite way of doing things. She's hard at it 3 or so hours every night doing the Life in the UK test. She's even regaling me on my knowledge and is desperate to fit in with life and culture in the UK and of course ultimately get an UK/EU passport.
But that's enough of that, let me begin:
I'd been holidaying in Thailand since 1999 culminating in a month's vacation two times per year, doing all the usual. The girls, Pattaya, the girls, Bangkok, the girls, Chang Rai, River Kwai, Phitsanulok etc. Then I went to Isaan with my friends to his wife's village every year and discovered a nicer (in my opinion) quieter, more relaxed, more genuine side to Thailand.
I still carried on my hectic Thai social life in Pattaya etc but inside something was missing. I found myself frequenting Thai circles in the UK. Lots of my mates are married to Thais with various degrees of success and although I was wary of all the pitfalls I yearned the GFE rather than the game I always knew the bar scene to be.
I was a soon to be 50 year old young looking slim, never married no kids, no worries a house, went all over the world watching Manchester United but was always chasing the next buzz. Then out of the blue I got an introduction to a friend of my mate's Thai wife who was from Isaan but worked in a factory in Bangkok. I jumped at the chance, not realising the impact on my life I was embarking upon.
We met, chaperoned of course and after a few weeks and numerous dates slept together. We continued to meet over the course of a year or so, met mum and dad a few times and then she popped the question. Gulp! I returned home and all the doubts arose in my mind, what about this and that, Thais this, Thais that. I was up and down in my thoughts but throughout she remained calm and collected. I went back next time on holiday and decided that I was scared of the unknown and I'd be crazy to lose a girl I'd grown to love and think about every day.
To help me I got an agent to help with the wedding and visa (£400 all in) crazy maybe but for me I figured that by doing certain things I'd be less likely to worry and call it all off because of my insecurities borne from my cosseted single life of plenty.
Well we got married, had a great party for 16 of my friends at Ma Maison Pattaya (Recommended, bags of food, free bar inc spirits for 6 hours £300) and a party in the village. (No sin sot asked for, even though never married no kids, not a bargirl). After a while spent with mum and dad she came over here in July '08.
Her new Thai mates got her a job after a month and she happy as a pig in **** so to speak. My insecurities and worries have gone and we are both very happy. We are off to Thailand at Songkran '09 and from her wages mum and dad are getting a drop. All that's been asked is what my wife sent home from her job in Bangkok.
The funny things is that my wife's jealous. Mum and dad ask about me first (I know, I know) but she is as mad as a wasp about it. She even said they think more of me than her even though they're more important to her than me. (Immediately corrected by her to same same husband and parents, ching ching mak mak!)
The point being that there really are some great Thai parents out there who have raised fantastic daughters and sometimes it's better to put aside the negative stuff and as in my case realise that maybe the answer to happiness is in yourself.
Everyday in my life is like being back in LOS, there are smiles and laughter every single day. And that's before we have kids which are on the agenda for next year, as she so ruefully said we need to get on with it soon darling…you too old too soon!
But what's really made me think that I was a fool to have had doubts is what happened today. I started a new job and I found out the company had no insurance and was paying cash i.e. doubts about NI and tax. So I said I was very worried. She immediately said I'm working and have overtime, Ill take care of you until you get a good job. One word 'Diamond' and thanks to Thailand and Mum and Dad !
So here's to tonight and the next smile…Go and do it !
Great to hear a positive story.