Thailand, Your Best Fishing Trip Ever!
I had a good friend of mine ask me how the bargirl scene was over in Bangkok. I was trying to somehow put it all into words. Considering that he is a avid fisherman, I decided to put it into words that he, the fisherman, could understand.
Well, let me put it this way. It's like going on the best fishing trip you've ever had! When you go fishing in the your usual fishing area, (most western countries) you can get the most expensive gear (expensive house and car) and you can use the best bait you can find, (expensive dinners out, perhaps a movie) and you can fish for hours, spend lots of cash, and not get a nibble (try to find a good women when you're in your fifties). You can go to the best fishing holes, (singles bars that middle age women might hang out at) but you find that there are hardly any fish in the lake (women our age don't hang out in the bars) You may catch a carp or bottom feeding fish occasionally. (frumpy middle aged divorced women) Once you get them into the boat, (take them to your house) they flop around in the boat and try to avoid the hook at any cost (western women have an attitude) Even after you've taken the hook out they keep flopping around. (they're really not into sex at their age) The fish are not very good eating (they are old and wrinkled) They don't fit in to the frying pan without cutting them up. (most western women are fat) You can prepare and cook them any way you want (buy them things), but they still don't taste good (they really don't enjoy sex at their age) After this whole fishing trip, you've found that you've spent way to much money, all for some lousy fishing. The ones you caught left a bad taste in your mouth. You talk to your buddies, and they've had the same terrible fishing experiences. (most guys in their fifties are in the same boat) After some time trying the local fishing areas, you'd rather just stay home and watch a fishing show where someone is catching a fish (viewing porn) You dream of a good fishing trip (Thailand) but you can't make the decision to go because it's too far and may cost a little money. You listen to your buddies tell you about the great fishing in Thailand, but haven't got the courage to get on the plane, even though you know the fishing is outstanding! You've even seen pictures of the fish (Asian porn sites)
On the other hand, here's what a fishing trip in Thailand will be like.
Sure you have to spend a little to get to the lake. (airfare) Once you get to the lake (Bangkok) you can easily find the hot fishing spots. (Nana Plaza, Patpong, Soi Cowboy, the soapy massage parlors). You don't have to hire a guide (you've read submissions on the Stickmanbangkok.com site) You can preview pictures of the fishing spots on the net (just go to youtube.com) and you can see what the fish look like that you'll be catching. (Thai dating sites) Sure these areas have been pre-stocked with fish, and you do have to pay a fee (barfine) but you're guaranteed to get a catch with every cast!!! You even get to see the fish before you land it (go-go bar stage) And let me tell you about these fish. They are all beautiful pan sized fish, They fit right into the frying pan (the Thai girls are thin) You can put as many in the pan as you want (you can take multiple girls to your hotel room) Even if your not in the hot fishing areas, there are still many fish in any nearby lake. (any bar or disco in Thailand) and, they're always biting!!! And, just forget all that expensive fishing gear. (you can be fat, ugly and/or bald) Instead of trying all the special techniques of casting, (buying expensive dinners and gifts) All you need to do is get a long stick and a string with a hook on the end (2000 baht) There are places in Thailand to get your bait. (ATM) When you first come to the edge of the lake (a go-go bar) and you look into the water (the go-go bar stage) you can see the water is just packed with fish. (hired by the bar owner) These same lakes have been stocked for years. They only have the best selection of fish. Some lakes (go-go bars) may have different looking fish, but they are all nice catches. Here's the only problem. You can have fun fishing, and you can catch all you want, but you are much better just doing "catch and release". You have the thrill of fishing (nailing bargirls) but you're better to throw these fish back in the lake. Some fishermen, make the mistake of trying to take the fish back home. This can be a big mistake. It's not that you can't do it, bit it takes a special permit (travel visa) and there is a waiting period. These fish are used to being caught and released. They are usually not "keepers". Some guys will catch the fish. (take them to the room) and they will take pictures holding their fish. (digital photos) They can later show their friends pictures of the fish they caught. They're friends can't believe it. Some fishermen are newbies, and some old fisherman have been fishing these waters for years (expats) Sure there are downsides to this great fishing. You may get tired of fishing all the time for fish you can't take home. Some guys get hooked on the great fishing, but each trip will cost them quite a bit of money.
Let me tell ya what the fishing is like. There are so many fish in these lakes, that you can cast a bare hook into the water, with no bait on it, and these fish will all hit on the hook like it's the biggest worm they've ever seen. (they tell you you're good looking) These fish don't seem to fight on the line, but they play you just enough that it's still thrilling to fish. (they lie to you) These fish (bargirls) have been trained to be good fish to catch. They always wiggle on the hook. (they dance on the go-go bar stage) There is even a fishing guide available to assist you landing the fish (the mamasan) You may decide to sprinkle some food in the water to excite the fish (lady drinks) bit the fish will still bite either way, but it's fun to see them nibble at the surface before you land them (barfine them)
Well, I hope my fishing friend now gets the picture about Thailand and the fishing scene, and to all you readers out there who are current fishermen, and even those that have decided to just hang you catch on the wall and look at it (married guys) I wish you the very best!!!!