Stickman Readers' Submissions April 7th, 2009

Goodbye, Sorry I Fell In Love With You

P***** suay, I am sorry to say that this is the end of whatever relationship we had. I will miss you always, and I not ashamed to admit that although I am a big strong guy, you have caused me a tear or two.

You know, and I know, that we didn’t get together because of sex. You weren’t a P4P girl, and if you were I would not have been interested. We were both a long way from home. Yes, you are beautiful, and you know you captured
my heart. All my prior resolutions – ‘don’t get involved’ – went overboard.

He Clinic Bangkok

When you told me, early on during one of our many hour-long phone conversations (we were only a couple of hundred of metres apart but we had some deep conversations) that you had a son, and called it ‘my secret’, all I felt
was happiness. Next day I was on the phone to my pension office to confirm how things would be if I married you and adopted your son.

Just a couple of times we slept together. For me, it was wonderful. You know, because I’ve told you (and I never hid anything from you) that P4P doesn’t do anything for me any more and I know that you enjoyed things as much
as I did.

I am sorry that I interfered with your life. Perhaps it was wrong of me to buy you an air ticket back home rather than see you suffer here every day.

CBD bangkok

And I’m sorry if I made you unsettled. Maybe you had reconciled yourself to working for another three years on the shit pay and conditions and hoped for something better at the end of it – or were you just doing it to fund your
Mum’s retirement?

Certainly you made me unsettled, because for the first time since my divorce several years ago, I met someone I could be ‘faithful’ to and wanted to settle with (yes, I would marry you – tomorrow – and adopt your
son). Did I ever tell you that I went to see the fat old cow who runs the ‘Marriage Office’ here and patiently waited and politely queued while I found out everything we’d need to marry here?

You are beautiful, no doubt about that, and you are much younger than I am.

I had dreams, and perhaps that’s all they were. Since you’ve been back in Thailand our communication has been very limited – but you know how to ask for money. Every reason you gave for needing a little ‘help’
I readily believed (or at least I suspended my disbelief) and I was happy to ‘help you out’.

wonderland clinic

P**** suay, I fell in love with you. The times I enjoyed most were the times we walked hand in hand by the sea and the times I used to cook you breakfast. You wore jeans, no make-up, and that is when you were most beautiful to me.

Now? You don’t even answer your phone. My SMS go unanswered. You don’t want to use e-mail to correspond. Maybe, towards the end of the month you’ll get ‘friendly’ again because you need some money.

Sorry, P**** suay, I fell in love with you. I would have moved half-way round the world for you. I would have married you, adopted your son, and done everything in my power to give you the best life I possibly could.

Obviously, it was not enough. I don’t know what more I could have done. You know that I am no ‘butterfly’ and you know (Momma would quickly tell you) that since I met you there has been nobody else.

But, my lovely, this is going nowhere. I would move to Thailand tomorrow to be with you – but only to be with you. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met (let alone made love to) but that’s not enough.

So I must apologise and walk away. The dreams I had (and I thought we shared) were obviously only dreams, the plans we made in all those hours we talked together just turned to rat-shit, and I have no idea at all how to get things back on

You are a wonderful woman. I will miss you always, and always think about how my life would have been if I had spent it with you. You are, and always will be, my ‘dream’ Thai girlfriend.

I am sorry that things did not work out for us.

Most of all, I’m sorry I fell in love with you.

Stickman's thoughts:

It's sad when things don't work out how we hope they will…but in many cases it really is best to walk away.

nana plaza