Response to Philippine Internet Dating
I have been reading Stickman for about a year, during which I think I have hit every weekly column and submission. My purpose for reading is that I got involved with a Filipina that I met over the internet, so I wanted to educate myself about the Philippine people and Asians in general. Unfortunately, there is no site as good as Stickman's for the Philippines, but I still found his site helpful. So I don't claim to be an expert or even well educated about the Philippine people, but I thought it couldn't hurt to say what I have learned, especially since I think my story is a happy one.
Just a bit of background. I am 27 years old, and my fiancée is 33. This is definitely on purpose, as I have been married before, and I realize that it is so extremely difficult to find the right person. A much bigger age gap, in my opinion, results in even more difficulty. She received her fiancée visa about a month ago, and has spent the last two weeks getting settled in at my place in the US. Certainly the best two weeks of my life, and we can not have sex yet, as she is still recovering from surgery to remove a cancerous tumor.
I had never been on-line before, much less a dating web site, so I was completely green when I started. Extremely
green. Like you, I posted a profile on Filipina Heart, and waited to see what happened. The lesson I took away from
day one was to put specific instructions on my profile that I was looking for some one between age 29 and 45. My lesson from day two was that it didn't matter, no one paid attention to that. Like Jeremy, 70% of the contacts were from girls 18 – 21. Yes, you simply have to start ignoring them at some point. I also switched my profile to busy, because I could not turn down the invitations to chat fast enough to even look at the ladies profiles. The first girl I started to have serious chats with was 26 years old (I know, out of the age limit), but I could tell that she was not the typical Filipina. Indeed, we had some interesting discussions. After about a month, the request for money came. She broke down and admitted that she worked "on-cam" as a nude model. I told her that there was no way I would send her money, and since she had lied to me, I did not want to talk to her anymore. To my surprise, she said ok, but can we still chat from time to time. I am not an idiot, so I did not worry about falling for any tricks, and was very open and honest with her about that. Believe it or not, we actually had some better discussions after that. It is like she brought me into "her world". She would often send me the transcripts of what her "clients" typed to her while she was working. I stopped talking to her after I told her I had met someone I intended to pursue, as I am one who believes that if a woman is good enough to date, then she deserves your full attention. The lessons I learned from her was more about life and the nature of Philippinos. Of course, I do not want to generalize too much, as no place is always what we think it is, but you must learn that the Philippines is a money driven society. It is always going to have something to do with money. Everything. Maybe not the only purpose, but it is always going to be there. Also, for the record, she preferred to chat on MSN, but Yahoo does seem to be more popular in the Philippines, for some reason.
After that, I started chatting with the woman who is now my fiancee. Yes, she is everything you would expect from a Filipina. She is smart, funny, HAPPY and likely the most compassionate person I have ever met. She is also the most passionate person I know, both good and bad. This is why the Filipinas can be so confusing. She goes to church every Sunday, but has no problems with creating passion in the bedroom. It is simply two different things to them. The way they dress does not make them any less religious (unofficial Filipina uniform = miniskirt and a halter top), because what does clothing have to do with God? The bad side to this is that you NEVER want to piss a Filipina off. Just look for some Youtube videos, and you can see a large foreign man receiving the wrath of an 85 pound angry Filipina. Trust me, don't go there. <I don't know about Filipinas but small Thai women could not really hurt even a smallish farang man in a physical tussle. The problem is the cops would never see your side of the story if you hurt her – Stick>
What you do get is the most loyal, kind and loving mate you could have hoped for. She can be everything you need, but you must remember, money will always be part of the equation. Being poor in the US is still better off than being middle-class in the Philippines. It is a very hard life. When you go there, get away form the tourist areas, and you will see what they go through. I have a lot of respect for them, and I cut my fiancee a lot of slack because of this. When I see just how bad it can be, then you understand why money will always be a concern. I was very careful before committing to my fiancee. I've visited her there 6 times, but I know her love for me is deeper and better than I have ever known before, so I have no worries. I am truly a lucky man. But understand why it is a money driven society. They live so close to the edge. Like I said, it is a very, very hard life.
The end result of my experience is this: you should know what you are getting in to on the internet. You don't go into a bar looking for a nun, so don't expect to find the hidden gem among the scammers on the internet. I got lucky, and there are some other people who also did, but the odds are so greatly stacked against it. The Philippines is a GREAT place, so go meet people in person. If you want to find a "good girl" then do it the same way you would back in Farangland. If you are a sex tourist, then go to the same places you would go to in Farangland for a quick hook up. You will be successful, no problem, but the internet is so fully of lies and deception, that it is likely a waste of time for either pursuit. It is so easy to meet Filipinas in their country, there is no need for it. Either way you go, you will be rewarded. I only wish I knew about it an ex-wife ago. Good luck!
Good luck. I hope things work out well for you!