Stickman Readers' Submissions March 16th, 2009

Delightful Thai Wife in Europe – Winter Crime, Winter Opportunity

"November has been very bad so far", comments a miffed Nahlee, my Thai wife in Europe: "It has not yet been snowing."

But one chilly morning, white powder finally has arrived. Fortunately, the sleeping room has balcony access. Out of the bed, a barefoot Nahlee walks onto the snow covered balcony and eats fresh snow off the reeling. She returns with a silly smile.

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Winter Crime

A winter walk in the fields. Nahlee can't help it again: She has to lie down full-length in the white wonder and simply laze ten minutes in the snow, with that mesmerized smile. I walk off and snap a few frozen grasses nearby with my camera.

Suddenly, with high speed a 4WD jeep races along. Out jumps a forest ranger. 20 meters away from us he shouts loudly: "Hey, what's going on there?!" and marches towards us.

Obviously he saw Nahlee lieing down in the snow and then me walking away from her. He may have thought I left her to die in the snow while idly snapping frozen plants.

"Oh…", I explain, "she's my Thai lady enjoying a real winter…"

He looks sceptical. From afar, my wife in the snow actually looks like a dead person. And there she still lies without a motion.

"Nahlee", I call her!

Nahlee sits up and with her signature smile across the meadow beams away the ranger's concerns.

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The ranger: "Okay, okay. I've watched you from far away. You understand I had to check on this." With a grin, he returns to his jeep and roars off.

Half an hour later the ranger car passes us again. We all grin at each other.

Winter in the Mall

In her favorite shopping mall in the capital, Nahlee sees snow covered items. They even managed to do snow writing on the window glass.

Snow in the mall! An enthralled Nahlee rushes by to see it from up-close.

That evening she tells me over a good soufflé: "I was so excited to see lovely snow in the mall! I went there fast to touch it, because I knew it would melt away instantly, they use a lot of heating there now! But then… it was… it was… only plastic… snow… ! It looked so real! I didn't know you have plastic snow here! And I was so delighted to see fresh snow in the mall."

Winter Paper

One winter breakfast, she says "Wait, I bring the newspaper inside." For that you have to walk through the snow-covered garden at -5°C. Thus I had been a bit hesitant to fetch the paper before breakfast.

Nahlee takes off her warm house shoes and is barefoot now. She opens the glass door to the garden and steps outside. There she can put on the plastic garden shoes, ok for the snow trek to the mailbox on the fence.

Nahlee does not slip into the plastic garden shoes.

Barefoot, she walks the 15 snowed-in meters to the fence. And slowly she walks.

And slowly, she fishes the paper out of the mailbox. She keeps standing there and checks the front page: top news, weather, exchange rates. It's about minus five degrees, and my crazy Thai wife reads the newspaper outside, barefoot in the snow, only in jeans and sweatshirt.

Sheesh, what if the neighbours – through the window, I motion for her to come back fast.

Slowly, she walks back through the snow, carefully creating a second track in fresh snow. She enters the house with an ethereal smile.

Winter Swim

On a freezing cold day, I take her to a big water park. We swim outside in the warm water, but the lawn around us is all snow covered. A speechless Nahlee observes how white clouds rise from her body into the steel blue winter sky.

Then she steps out of this outdoor pool, her whole body now emanating clouds. A speechless water park crowd observes how a dripping wet, bronze Thai lady in swimsuit and long black wet hair dreamily tiptoes across the snow-covered lawn.

Actually, the snow had been frozen over, something Nahlee hadn't experienced before. She cuts her left sole a bit. Happily she observes the blood flowing.

Winter Opportunity

Another winter walk in the fields. Nahlee: "If the snow survives until tonight, we'll do a caipirinha."

Hans: "What? A caipirinha? A caipirinha would fit to a beach, or to a hot city hotel pool side. I can't imagine a caipi on a winter evening."

Nahlee: "Why, I want to use the snow as ice for the drink. It would be oh so organic, and you and the teacher always lecture me about sustainability, right?"

Stickman's thoughts:

I can remember many Thai women asking me about my country and being very disappointed when I said that yes, while it snows in my country, it had never snowed in the area where I lived. They have a real fascination with snow.

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