Stickman Readers' Submissions February 20th, 2009

TLL and Thai Women

There have been many references about TLL or Thai Love Links (for those from newbies out there) here on Stickman’s and also of other dating websites and the type of women one meets on these websites.

So what type of women do you meet on TLL? And how do I know so much about this website?

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Well to start with, let me say that I am not a member, but was once about 18 months ago for only a month, mainly due to curiosity. When I was a member I chatted with many Thai women just for the fun of it and there were some who I think were genuine but most were after one thing, and that was finding a farang that had money and was willing to support them. The women I met were from all parts of Thailand and here are the places, numbers and views of these women.

*Bangkok: during this time there were 8 women from this area and all of them were after money. Some would ask within the first 3 times I chatted to them and would bring up a tail of woe, like my mother is sick and she has to go to hospital and this will cost US$1,000, my father died and I need US$1,500 a month to pay the mortgage on my parents’ home. I really like talking to you but want to go to school and this cost about US$500 a month. Notice that it’s always in US dollars never in Thai Baht! WTF, now even where I come from this is serious money and when I started asking them very personal questions, like tell me which bank the loan is from and I’ll see if I can talk to them POOPH! Said person would disappear and I’d find that I’d been blocked by them. Then there were the scammers, these were easy to notice as they’d never have a photo. I asked for a photo once and was sent a photo of a model from England! Hello, are these people thick or what, but I have to give credit here to the people that administer this website as when I found scammers one email to them and within ½ day they’d be gone.

* Chiang Mai: Similar to Bangkok but only chatted to 3 ladies from there and within a week all came up with the same story! Mum is sick and need money for hospital, lost my mobile and need new one so I can talk to you handsome man. But two days later I called her and she answered the phone, Oh sorry found my phone at a friend's place! Sure and pink pigs fly! Then the classic one, this girl when I first contacted her told me her English wasn’t very good and it would take time and guesswork to know what she was talking about, then about five days later her English miraculously improved and she was now writing in fairly good English. I became suspicious and asked her two days later that I’d like to talk on webcam tonight; she didn’t even think and clicked on the webcam and bingo! There was her friend writing at the keyboard for her. You should have seen her face when I told her I could see her friend writing for her, well another one bites the dust and I’m blocked again.

* Udon Thani: Only met two ladies from this area and only one was genuine. We talked for nearly 3 weeks without any reference to money and it was a pleasant surprise, until the word marriage was brought up and I asked about sin sot. Well she told me her parents wanted one million baht sin sot for her! Holy cow I thought! That’s a lot of money. Was she well educated? No, was she for the upper class? No. She as just a farmer’s daughter working in Big C, and going to uni to study English.

* Korat: The only lady I talked from here was also the last one I met before cancelling my membership and I found her a breath of fresh air, never asked for money and was working at a factory as a supervisor and had a small apartment that she shared with a friend. She was only 28 and I’m in my mid forties, so when I asked about a relationship she politely told me that I was too old for her and she was just happy to have me as a friend if that was ok!

Was it Ok! Sure it was and it felt good just having someone to talk to and to learn about Thailand. I helped her with her English and she told me of some nice places to see in Thailand. She was the only one that I gave an email address to and we stayed in contact for about six months when one day she told me that she was going to close her profile as she’d found a nice Thai man and he wasn’t happy about her chatting on this website (Don’t blame him).

Most of the women I met on TLL would very quickly send their MSN contact details and wanted to chat with me on MSN. I never understood this until a few months ago when the final piece of the puzzle was put in place.

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Now lets skip to the present day. I have been in a relationship with a Thai woman for about nine months. She’s in her mid thirties and we like each other very much. She works for the government. About three months ago she asked me if I’d help some of her friends who were trying to find western boyfriends on the internet. I asked what I had to do and was told that since I take nice photos of her, the friends would like me to take their photos for them and also help them in writing an appealing profile for them. I said that I’d talk to each one but would only help if I thought they were willing to be honest (Ha! That’s a laugh isn’t it).

All these ladies wanted to have their profile on TLL and so I began by taking their photos and writing a small blurb about who they were and what they wanted in life. Now all of these ladies have respectable jobs like nurses, bank employees, hairdressers or doctors. Then they asked me to help them in setting up multiple email addresses on Hotmail. I asked my partner why they needed to have so many email addresses and was told that they’d been told that you only chat a small amount of time on TLL then you send the man an email address to talk to him on MSN, OK! I understand but why so many email addresses? Well she said each man has a different email address so nobody knows she’s online chatting with someone else. Did I tell you these ladies were clever? But they know nothing about how the internet works or doing anything more than sending and receiving emails.

Now when I set up all of these accounts on MSN I did something a bit sly. I made sure that the messages would be kept in a log so if I ever had the chance of having access to that computer I could copy the log files and read them at home when my partner wasn’t home. Now you might ask what have I found out about these ladies. Well most are honest to a point but there is never a yes or a no. It's always maybe or they avoid the question and move on to something else. The one thing I did try to make them understand is that if their western boyfriend found out that she was talking to other men he’d stop talking to them quicker than you could say “som tam”. But there were a few that didn’t do this and I’ve stopped helping these ladies.

Now you might ask have any of these ladies had any luck? Too right they did and three of them are now in relationships with western men, three of these have already come out to Thailand to see these ladies and one is due next month. But one lady that is a very good friend of my partner is playing with fire. She has one man who loves her and they're engaged but he doesn’t want to marry until next year and he’s giving her ฿30,000 a month. She has a small business in Isaan and they both like each other. But the problem is he’s German and they have a hard time communicating in English. He was here for Christmas and they had a small argument. But before leaving he told her he’d try to learn more English and gave her ฿100,000 and told her to use some of it to learn English. When I spoke to her later I tried to explain to her that it was just a misunderstanding, and she should go to learn English and this wouldn’t happen again.

Now just a few weeks ago a new man flew over to meet her. He speaks enough Thai that they can talk and he gave her ฿50,000 while here and told her he’d send about ฿20,000 a month to help her. So I asked my partner if she’s still seeing the German man and was told yes because she cannot make up her over mind who to choose. I told my partner that this wasn’t right and I wasn’t going to help her anymore as this was not good and I wanted no part in this anymore. Now what makes it very interesting is that while they were here they both went to the same resort in Phuket and she’s just found out that they are both coming over next month to see her at the same time and have both booked into the same resort! Gee, I’d like to be a fly on the wall when they're there. Should be a fun time, NOT!

Now for the other ladies, well only one is chatting to one guy. All the others have many men they chat to. One has eight men she is talking to, talk about a busy girl. But you might ask did I ever get the chance of seeing what they write. Yes and they all profess their undying love to each man they meet and the man thinks that he’s so lucky to have found such an honest women. Some men send money to them and others just send them gifts.

Do I think that what I’ve done is wrong? No. I just did it has a favor to my partner and also some of these ladies have been of great help to me since I came here. But I do draw the line at lying and cheating so the lady from Isaan has no help from me any more, and if any of the others do the same then they’ll get the same.

I wish all these men luck and hope that they read Stickman. I did and it certainly open my eyes to what goes on over here.

Stickman's thoughts:

Like I said in a column recently, the who internet dating thing in Thailand has gone mainstream – and when that happens the dynamic changes big time. A number of my friends have a lot of "fun" on ThaiLoveLinks though and many commentators such as Khun Nana use it to source new "friends".

nana plaza