Readers' Submissions

My Perfect Night Out in Bangkok

  • Written by Andy K
  • February 13th, 2009
  • 7 min read


Unfortunately I have never experienced a perfect night out but if I did, it would be something like this…

Esplanade

Yes, this is my favorite mall of all of them. Why? I think it is nice enough and not overly pompous like Paragon and not overly crowded like MBK. It's just big enough and has all the same entertainment options like the other malls. Plus there is an extraordinary amount of talent there. Whereas Paragon has the hi-so types, I find Esplanade to have more of the Ratchada coyote girl types who I prefer anyways. Anyways, this submission is not really about girls.

I would start the night off with 10-pin bowling with my girlfriend. Sadly, the higher powers that be decided that my skill in life would be bowling. Personally I would have chosen something a bit more lucrative or personally fulfilling like being an actual ‘handsum man’. But it is what it is and I do end up getting a lot of ‘superbowl game’ coupons when I get strikes at the right times so it's not that expensive a hobby. I would then move on to a movie upstairs at one of the BSC Diamond screens and take a nap. I have successfully slept through at least 15 movies in the past year which my girlfriend has yelled at me for being a total waste of money but 500 baht a seat for a nap after a long hard night of going out isn’t that bad.

Dinner

Two options here. My absolute favorite restaurants in Thailand are not actually that expensive or nice in ambience. There is a Somboon seafood on Surawongse which seems to caters to busloads of Japanese tourists. If you haven’t been, worth a trip before going out on a night in Patpong. Besides the crab curry which is a must, the rest of the menu is actually quite good and affordable. There are 4 or 5 Somboons in Bangkok I believe some of which are actually rip offs and could end up costing 4,000-5,000 baht for two. Somboon Surawongse for me never goes above 700 baht. This is my own personal favorite but my girlfriend has moved me onto some street food in Ratchada which I have been a big fan of. <I think the place you refer to is on the corner of Suriwong and Narathiwat Roads or what some people refer to as Chongnonsee. Agreed, it is excellent!Stick>

This second option is a three course dinner in three different locations with the first course at one of many ‘Chai 4’ kway-teao stands. My personal favorite is the one on the corner of Ratchada soi 7 since the seating area is big. Then we would take a taxi to Soi Sutthiporn 2 which has an outdoor fish ball restaurant which has the best fish balls in all of Thailand I think. Then the third course is actually a taxi back to Pracha Songkhro at the end of Soi 7 again at the outdoor food stalls for some sticky rice coconut milk and grass jelly. Not the most appetizing I am sure for some readers but I myself didn’t develop a liking for Asian food until I moved to Thailand from the U.S. and got myself shacked up with a Thai girl, well the current one anyway.

In a perfect world

Of course in a perfect world I would be able to say good night and go see my favorite bar girl, N, in Sukhumvit. Of course, not living in a dream, this is why I have never experienced my perfect night. But if I did, I would head out to Suk 5 to pick up N from the salon and head out to either Absolute on Soi 7/1 or Hillary 2 on Soi 4 depending on where my favorite cover band was playing. Some bands seem to rotate between the same bars for some reason. Must have the same owner or manager or something. My favorite bargirl, having done the rounds that many times in the lower Suk area can walk into any bar and have the staff get her a good table which is always useful for me. N would drink herself to a nice buzz after about 5 or 6 Bacardi breezers, 3 tequila shots and 2 Jack and cokes. Unfortunately for my wallet she handles her first 10 or so drinks quite well.

About the salons

Inevitable, we always find ourselves at Spice Club on Soi 11 at 2am with her group of salon friends. Some of them actually live in the salon but most of them only hang out there most afternoons comparing who got the better guy, swapping stories, etc. It's also a bit of a loan sharking operation where girls who have trouble getting customers or need to send money to their parents will borrow cash from the salon owner or each other but put up their cell phones or any gold they own up as collateral. The collateral is always worth at least 3 times the borrowed amount and after a certain amount of time the loan is deemed unpaid and they just take the collateral. Of course, the girl would then have to convince some newbie farang to buy a new cell phone or gold bracelet to replace it.

For those who speak a bit of Thai, it really is eye opening to experience freelancers in their native habitat in the salons. There are a number of them all over Sukhumvit and it’s a bit of a home base to these girls. Near these salons are the small rooms where they rent on a monthly or weekly or sometimes daily basis and share a room with a group of girls at the same time. While it is difficult to fit 4 or 5 girls in a room they never expect all of them in the room at the same time as some of them either go long time or have their sponsors in town. The downside of course is that once a guy shows his face at these places, he becomes ‘owned’ by the girl and can’t go with a lot of the girls except for those who don’t like the girl in the first place. And a whole lot of gossiping and fighting does happen between the girls so for those who think that these girls all work together to support each other to rip off farangs in the bars are in most cases wrong I believe. Sometimes I wish I didn’t get ‘owned’ because anywhere between Soi 3 and 11, N’s friends will recognize me and report back to her so I never venture in the lower Suk anymore unless I am with N. A shame really because the pack of girls in this particular salon are the 20-25 year old types which is more to my liking but now I don’t have access to most of them (I just turned 30 so the standard over 30 year old 2-baby mothers working in Sukhumvit just don’t appeal as much…yet). But sometimes it proves useful to be ‘owned’ because I can always crash with the girls when its too late and too tired to go back to my hotel.

Back to the afterhours

So back to Spice Club where the salon friends are trying one last time to get a customer for the night. Again, the staff know us so I can always get a table in the back with N while the girls get their table right by the door to be most visible to the arriving farang men. We stay here usually until 4 am or so while N continues her fish-like aquatic breathing ways with a few more flaming shots (these are really expensive but luckily she doesn’t start down this path until after a good 10 drinks or so). Afterwards, of course when all taxis going to Lucky or Boss or Tunnel or Spicy are free, we hop on and head over to Lucky for pool, Tunnel if N’s deputy police chief friend is there to get us VIP seating without buying an expensive bottle (a waste because I am actually a teetotaler), or to Spicy (my favorite) so N can finally reach her limit of 15 or so for the night. This is just a stopover until 6am when we go across the street to the karaoke place on the second floor (I can never remember the name). We never go to the disco which by this time is only for those on ecstasy. While N is belting out Thai power pop songs from female artists to release her disappointment in herself for yet again drinking to a stupor, I get to eat breakfast.

And of course in a perfect world, I head back to the salon around 10am for a threesome with her friends before going back home to the girlfriend. But I suspect I will have to wait a long time for that to come true…

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

I am sure you can make your perfect night out come true….and we want all the spicy details!