Stickman Readers' Submissions February 24th, 2009

A Married Man’s Guide To Mongering

Living in Thailand presents certain temptations, more so than possibly anywhere else on the planet. Such is Thailand’s reputation around the world for its beautiful and available women I have friends who are forbidden by their wives from ever visiting the country, even to work. Just recently one of those friends wanted to break his journey from Australia to Britain with a couple of days in Thailand, but the best he could negotiate with his wife back home was an overnight stay at an airport hotel. And can you imagine the frustration of the unwary who actually bring their spouse on holiday to Thailand and see what is available.

Who wouldn’t be tempted! Even happily married men would find the enticements on offer difficult to resist. It only takes a whiff of perfume, the gentle touch of a hand touching an arm, a heart-melting smile, the sight of a young breast, to set the mind in turmoil and the hormones racing. They might innocently join friends or colleagues at a go-go bar just out of curiosity, but once they see the sexy, near-naked girls that quickly make them feel like the greatest man they’ve ever seen, no wonder thoughts go through their mind. When so much is available so easily and for quite a small sum of money, no wonder men stray.

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But is that necessarily a bad thing. No, not if it’s handled properly. A man on the prowl along Soi Cowboy might be able to indulge a fantasy, do things with a girl he meets there that his wife would feel uncomfortable with. He can pay to do whatever he wants, as long as the girl is willing. As long as the girl is willing, please! Three naked girls in your room ‘taking care’ of you? No problem. A lesbian performance just for you? ‘No problem, I find friend me and we go with you’. Some girls will do anything you can imagine and even things you’ve never thought of for the right fee. So the husband can relieve his frustration, live out his fantasy, and no harm is done. Rather than let his frustration build up at the delights he can see but not touch, causing growing resentment that his wife isn’t as sexy or as compliant as those he sees outside of the family home, he can relieve the pressure with some innocent fun.

However, there are rules to be learned and followed. It is very easy to become overconfident with your ‘freelancing’, and that can lead to trouble. Big trouble. Do you really want to break up a marriage, maybe a family, for a couple of hours of lust with an Isarn farmer’s daughter? Of course not. So, you need to keep your wits about you and plan things carefully so your wife is kept in the dark. But, with a mix of sex and alcohol, that is easier said than done. Things can easily get out of control and then the game is up. So here are some tips, gathered from my experience over the years. Please feel free to email me via Stick if you have any to add, or any comments.

Rules number one, two and three. Never, ever, give out your phone number. Ever, for any reason. That puts the girl in charge. She can call you at any time of the day or night, pester you with SMSs, become a real and dangerous pest if you don’t pay her the attention she feels she deserves or worse, you dump her. Your wife can pick up your phone at any time, hear a female voice asking for you, read a love message from her, maybe when you’re in the shower or just forget and leave the phone laying around. I made that mistake once, gave my number not to the actual girl because her English wasn’t good enough for a conversation, but to her boss. And eventually, because for one reason or another I hadn’t been able to meet up with her, the calls began. I intercepted the calls, but had to change my number. How do you explain to your wife why you are changing a perfectly good number. It’s not easy. So never, ever, give out your number. If you must call her, use a phone where you can’t be traced. Make sure you are in charge. You can call her, but she cannot call you. Or alternatively, maybe for setting up a meeting, you can send a text message using Skype. It doesn’t give your number, only your Skype name, and they are unable to reply.

Other things can easily give you away. If you go off for a short-time, make sure you know where the condom packet is afterwards. I once had a bit of a physical exchange with a young lady and search as I did afterwards I couldn’t find some of the wrapper. It was only a week later when I picked up the shoes I’d been wearing that night that I found the wrapper inside one of them. My wife could have spotted it at any time, picking up the shoes to clean them perhaps. How can you possibly explain away a condom wrapper in your shoe. Be careful.

Then there is the fact that these young ladies like to get up close and comfortable. After all, that’s the whole point isn’t it, a bit of snuggling up or better. But there’s a problem. Ninety nine times out of a hundred these girls are going to be wearing face powder and lipstick and maybe perfume. What is spouse going to think when she picks up your shirt for washing the next day and there are the tell-tale powder marks and maybe the smell of her that even your after-shave can’t dispel. What’s the answer? My own solution is to buy a cheap shirt that covers the one I go out in, and by having a regular girl at a couple of places I go to they keep the shirt in their locker for me for my next visit. But that won’t work if you go from bar to bar each time. Then you’d constantly be buying shirts and dumping them on your way home.

Another thing. Don’t keep any photo of your secret love, no matter how tempting that might be. Somehow, sometime, your wife will find it. Always. They’ll have a moment of feminine intuition and have a rummage through your wallet, or it will fall out of a book while she’s cleaning. Next, and it should be obvious, be discrete. Don’t get over-confident and careless and arouse any suspicion about what you are up to. Unless you really don’t care if you break up your marriage, continue to treat your wife the way she expects to be treated, with respect. Make her feel good about herself, and you, with little gifts perhaps, going out for dinner. Don’t do anything that even hints that you have found someone else that you also like to spend time with, someone that makes her feel she is second-best. Don’t be too eager about going out to ‘see friends for a drink’. Keep her happy, not suspecting a thing, and no harm is done. And finally, don’t get carried away and let your dick control your heart. Keep it as harmless fun and don’t even think of dumping your wife for a half-educated prostitute from a bar, no matter how sexy and attractive she is today. I’ll bet you that within a few weeks, months at the most, you’ll wonder what you ever saw in her.

Stickman's thoughts:

I wonder how long guys can keep the charade up? Thai women have a 6th sense and I think even in when the guy truly thinks she doesn't have a clue, she most likely does.

One tip I heard from a friend who cheats on his wife regularly was that he always walks home and drinks along the way. He claims that a shower "doesn't wash everything away" but walking home, building up a sweat and drinking masks any smells he may have 'picked up'.

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