Readers' Submissions

Disappointing, Surprising And Other Musings

  • Written by Anonymous
  • January 13th, 2009
  • 4 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

In my naivety I had assumed when arriving that all the expats from the UK, Australia, North America etc would, being in the minority stick together and help each other as a little community or network. Alas it is not like that. Many farang you see will often look away when you come across them casually in a shopping centre. In bars it is a little different but I found them not to be forthcoming. Not so the tourists who are here on holiday and they often want to talk more openly – not unsurprising I guess.

This is my list of expat farang:-

Who are the worst farangs by nationality?? The Americans are in my humble opinion the worst, they tend to be loud, aggressive and arrogant, sometimes all three. In restaurants I do not want to hear their private (or not so private) conversations yelled out in their thick drawl audible in all parts of the eatery, often so loud that I have to speak louder to the person next to me so we can make ourselves heard. I cringe when I hear them talk to the waiting staff as if they were mere peasants.

I was personally regaled on more than one occasion with minute details of the then up and coming American Presidential elections. He pontificated at length and in detail about the candidates and the different policies. Just why should I be interested in what is going on in USA. I couldn’t really give a monkey's **** what the great nation is up to, why should I? Yet they truly believe I should be.

The cranky Americans have no hesitation in telling you they are former FBI, CIA, navy seals, or hitmen on the run from mafia. I’ve heard these lines so many times. Only the Americans can come up with something so fantastically crass.

The next on the list are the Aussies. Forget the macho image they somehow have managed to acquire, almost all of them I’ve met are wimps where women are concerned. One young guy who put it about he was a lothario was so tongue tied and shy he even had trouble talking to bar girls. He secretly told me his mum back in Oz had challenged him to admit he was gay! I don’t know, maybe he was in Thailand to prove she was wrong? Yet this same guy made the point that all the girls back home were fat and ugly and he’d had no luck with them as they always finished with him after a couple of dates. I wonder why??

The Aussies here are the ones most likely to be under the thumb of the wife. If teerak says jump, the Aussie will reply how high? One Aussie I invited out for a drink insisted he was back home by 9.30pm as he’d never been out on his own at night before and he was terrified he would be in trouble with the Thai missus if he was late home. Laughable considering the rough tough image.

My fellow Brits come in a close third. Lots of boring conversations from Walter Mitty type characters. You can spot Brits a mile away with sleeveless vests and the over pored beer bellies. Usually you can see them striding around like they’re gods gift to women. That’s when they are not totally pissed and making a total arse of themselves. Oh god help us!!

The most surprising thing with my fellow farangs are how soft and spineless they are where woman are concerned. The majority are being scammed to some degree in the first place anyway, but I know of many who were obviously successful and made money back home only for them to come here and like lambs submit to the whims and dictates of the ‘little lady’.

These ‘she who must be obeyed’ types often come from the poor families where if they had a 100 baht they were rich. Before meeting the prince charming farang their lives are usually utterly mundane, grinding out a small living as best they can. Yet so soon after hitching up with their saviour (can’t think of a better word) the trousers are firmly on the little ladies legs and boy does she let the farang know.

The fact that the farang is loaded with cash and could live very grandly, oddly has no bearing on the matter. He who pays is often not the boss, it is strange but it happens very often. Just why should this female object to the farang going for the odd drink or play a game of golf on his own when HE wants to and then not continually look at his watch to make sure he’s not out later than stipulated? It is pathetic to hear them admit I have to be home as she has told me etc etc, or I can’t do so and so as she does not like…. or something similar. I can never figure out this weak spined attitude out. So many farang need to get a grip, after all Thai women are not exactly in short supply here in Thailand are they?

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Stickman's thoughts:

While your generalisations might be true for some people, I would suggest that those you pigeon-hole actually make up a small minority.

Now the point you make about Western men being under the thumb of their Thai woman is oh so true and that is something I am in total agreement with. A man has to be a man, not a mouse.