Readers' Submissions

A Letter To My Ex-Wife

  • Written by Martin
  • January 9th, 2009
  • 6 min read


Dear Netty

You may have forgotten but on the 15th January this year it would have been our 20th wedding anniversary and it got me thinking about something that happened exactly 10 years ago on that day.

I was sitting in a floating restaurant on the bank of the River Kwai looking up at the famous bridge built by world war 2 prisoners. It was our 10th wedding anniversary and I was contemplating my future. After working hard for the previous 10 years to provide a comfortable and secure life for you and our kids, you told me that I wasn’t good enough, we were to divorce and everything I valued was to be taken off me. I ‘didn’t live up to your expectations’, ‘spent too much time with the kids’ and despite paying £20K off the mortgage, buying two cars, a Jacuzzi and a brand new kitchen for our 5 bedroom house, I wasn’t entitled to anything. Lesbian Tina had already moved in and I was out. It was, to use one of your phrases, “time to move on”.

Then I turned and looked at ‘Nok’, the lovely Thai girl I had picked up in a bar on Soi Cowboy the night before. She was beautiful, slim, polite and provided me with what Thai bar girls do best…the girlfriend experience. It got me thinking that rather than get all depressed about losing everything, I should take it as an opportunity to experience the things in life that most men can only dream about.

And there began the best 10 years of my life.

First up was the canal boat I lived on in the UK for 2 years. I really enjoyed that. What a way to live, total freedom and I met some really interesting people. Next was a sailing course in Portugal, two skiing holidays in Austria and then I landed a 3-year construction job in Malaysia. That job was brilliant and gave me access to the Land of Smiles, weekend parties with the bar girls of Songkla and holidays in Phuket, Bangkok and Pattaya. I had a couple of Thai live-ins while I was in Malaysia but nothing came of it. The best time I had was the last 4 months of the job when I had 4 Thai bar girls living in my house while they worked the bar in Malaysia…great fun and amongst other things, helped me immensely to learn the Thai language. I bought my yacht while in Malaysia. It is only 26 feet long but we managed to sail it to Thailand in 2005 and what an adventure that was. I still have it and use it a few weeks a year for holidays.

I sold the motorbike but have all the memories of motorcycling up to Thailand to chill out on a beach, read a book, drink beer and wait for the sun to go town so I could take one of the friendly young ladies to dinner.

14 months in Hong Kong came next, good pay but very expensive, especially partying with the Thai girls in Wanchai. However Thailand was but a short flight away. My best holidays were in Chiang Mai and I fell in love with that place. There I learnt to fly a microlight, ride a horse and it is the place I now call home. During one of my jaunts to Pattaya I met up with Oot, a 21 year old pole dancer. She had a passport and I took her back to Hong Kong for what was supposed to be a couple of weeks. She stayed 2 months and cost me a fortune. We had a great time. She was a typical bar girl – pretty, sexy, crazy, fun, lived life to the full and wasn’t shy in the sack…but she had one major downfall…she was expensive (not quite as expensive as you, mind you). It was obviously never a long-term thing. I was old enough to be her dad and we did look a bit odd when we were out together with her wearing mini skirts, pink hair and body piercings. We broke up amicably and, she seemed happy to get back to Pattaya and I got a send off in Hong Kong airport car park that you just wouldn’t believe. I shudder to think what would have happened if we had got caught.

After Oot I didn’t have a permanent girl, just drifted around the bars in Hong Kong until I met my wife…a 29 year old Thai girl visiting her mother who had a restaurant in Hong Kong. We hit it off straight away and although 14 years younger than me she was perfect. A fun outgoing personality, beautiful, slim and honest, she had a proper job in a clothing dye factory in Rayong and a diploma in Chemistry. She sailed with me on my yacht from Malaysia to Thailand in 2005 and despite being caught in a storm and my boat developing a leak, she stuck with me, bailing out the boat and helping to repair the hole when we got to the next port…most girls would have lost interest with sailing at this point but she still enjoys it and considers our near demise a memorable experience.

10 years ago after you cleaned me out I had nothing.

What do I have now?

  • A beautiful Thai wife who, over the last 4 years has proved to be as near perfect as any wife could be.
  • A gorgeous 1 year old daughter.
  • A two-bedroom bungalow in Chiang Mai.
  • A pickup truck I bought brand new 2 years ago.
  • A yacht and a Honda 250cc dirt bike for those get away moments.
  • Everything is paid for and I am debt free.
  • A job with a company that sends me all over the world fixing power stations that pays enough so that I only have to work 7 months of the year.
  • I can skipper a yacht, fly a microlight, ride a horse, ski down a blue run and read, write and speak a foreign language.

The future?

I am looking for a more stable life now, hanging out on the beach chasing bar girls, drinking beer, sailing and riding motorcycles was great fun, but at 46 I feel it is time to settle down. I have never been as happy or content with life as I am now with my wife and daughter. I can still do all the other things, but not to excess, the motorbikes, tennis, horse riding and sailing and as my daughter grows up she can join in all these and other things.

Why am writing this letter?

To say…“Thank You” for giving me the freedom to have the best 10 years of my life and the opportunity to meet my perfect girl.

Had we had stayed together 10 years ago like I wanted to, I don’t know what kind of life I would have had in the UK but I would certainly have missed out on all the interesting experiences I have had.

I wish I could also thank ‘Nok’ from the ‘Bridge over the River Kwai’. After months of being told by you that I was a good for nothing husband who doesn’t deserve to be with such a wonderful person as you, here was this beautiful 24 year old Asian girl who spent 4 days treating me like I was someone special. She restored my faith in women and changed the course of my life permanently in the direction of Thailand. My only regret is I wish I had done it 20 years ago.

Happy Anniversary.

Martin

Stickman's thoughts:

Brilliant. Hope is never lost. There is always Thailand!