Readers' Submissions

There Is No Love In Thailand!

  • Written by TJ
  • December 20th, 2008
  • 17 min read



About five years ago I was in Bangkok crossing Sukhumvit at Soi 4 just outside Nana Plaza. I cannot remember the conversation I was having with my best friend named Mike but a white man who heard something we said and was walking past us towards Nana Plaza turned back and said "there is no love in Thailand". I started going to Thailand in August 1998 with Mike. I have been to Thailand about 20 times and all over Asia. I am a 35 year old white male from Seattle who is 6’3”. I love going to Thailand for the women. My favorite place to hang out is called Nana Plaza in Bangkok which has many gogo bars. I like to have fun with the bar girls as well as the supposed good girls I have meet on websites.

I have never understood American women and when I first went to Thailand I was amazed at all the nice young women I had access to. About 5 years ago Mike decided to marry a bar girl that he had just meet. He got her from a bar called PlaySchool inside Nana Plaza. She was 20 years old very petite, cute and charming. I have read many posts on Stickman over the years and I begged him not to do it. He did it anyways. Mike was just about to get $350,000 dollars from a settlement from a motorcycle accident. He was working two jobs at the time to be able to send her $200 a week. But when he finally got his settlement, instead of spending all the money on a house or condo like I and his family wanted he blew all the money in about 1.5 years on stupid stuff like cars and paying off his medical debts.

He showered his new wife with money. He bought her a nice new condo on Soi Ari in Bangkok, a new house in Si Saket in Isaan, lots of gold jewelry, a $25,000 wedding ring, a new truck for her family and two new tractors. He also bought himself a $3000 dollar watch. Her family went from the poorest family in the village to the wealthiest overnight! Their wedding was in the village and televised on the local TV station. He had all of his family and friends flown in for the wedding. They live in Los Angeles.

I spent many years slowly looking for a nice Thai wife because I knew I could not afford to go to Thailand whenever I wanted. I was determined not to make the same mistake that so many other men have made. I spent a lot of time looking for my Thai wife on the internet. I went to many websites.

I worked overtime in my lowly security guard job for years to save the money to bring a Thai girl to America. I did things like hike all night around construction sites in the dead of winter to come up with the money. Fortunately, I own my condo outright and could afford to save the necessary money.

I met a lot of girls in person but I could not find what I was looking for. I eventually found a nice girl on the SweetSingles website. She was a nice girl and everyone who met her liked her. Shortly after we met she started to tell me about a British man who was her ex-boyfriend. He had been to Thai prison for beating up his ex-Thai wife. She told me he was a very violent man and that he was stalking her. She refused to give me his full name, address or where he worked. I was very concerned and I had her talk with a Bangkok police officer who is my friend. She then lied to him and said nothing was wrong. My Bangkok police officer friend who was initially concerned for her got disgusted and told me she was playing games and that I should leave her.

I thought we would be ok since what I thought was her ex-boyfriend did not know where she was. He found out through her sister and gave me a call. He told me he had just kidnapped her outside of where I was staying and I could here her screaming over the telephone as they drove in the taxi. He said if I did not stop seeing her he would come over right then and hurt me. I told him that the worst thing he could do is threaten me. He then hung up the telephone and I told the apartment manager who overheard the phone call to call the police if he comes to the apartment building. I went downstairs and waited outside for him to arrive. Thankfully, he never showed up. At the time I had a really bad case of diarrhea. I did not want the possibility of experiencing a Thai jail first hand.

Later that night, she called me from his house and said she was being kept against her will. I begged her to give me the address so that I and my Bangkok police friend could go and free her. She refused because she said she did not want anything bad to happen to him. I later learned through nasty e-mails I was getting from her boyfriend that she was continuing to see him of her own free will. She admitted to me that this was true. In my book that makes him her boyfriend. I sent an e-mail to both of them. I urged both of them and especially him to get a shrink. I then washed my hands of both of them.

On my next trip to Thailand I met yet another girl from the same website. She was 18 years old and from a small village far from Bangkok near Udon Thani. She and her family were dirt poor. I had her meet me in the lobby of the Narai Hotel. She was chaperoned by her two aunts. I used Mike’s wife as our translator. After a while her aunts said she could stay with us in Bangkok for about 4 days. We had a great time and she seemed like a simple country girl. She was a clean slate. She said she had only been to Bangkok a few times. I told her I was poor and that if she came to America she would have to work. I also told her she could keep the approximately $1,200 a month she would make at her job. Her eyes got really big and she did not believe that she could possibly make that much money. I also told her I did not want children and that if after being married at least 10 years she still wanted children then we could get a divorce and I would not have hard feelings about it. After giving her a few days to think about this she agreed. We then left by train to meet her family.

They were poor but they took such good care of me. They took me to what they said was her uncle's house. He spoke English and he said he spent 7 years at Purdue University in America. He told me she was a good girl and that she would not give me any problems. We negotiated a dowry of about $2000. I made sure that my future wife and her whole family understood that I was poor and that she would have to work. My future wife and her family agreed to this.

It took about 7 months for her to get the fiancée visa and come to America. She asked for money the whole time while we waited for her to get the visa and I sent about $400 dollars a month. I also bought her family a desperately needed new Honda scooter. When she finally got here I could not pay the dowry because I was broke. I told her and her family that I would pay the dowry as soon as I could. I was working over 60 hours a week to pay the bills. She was angry at me for this and I called her mother and explained that I could not pay it because I had sent so much money to her over the last 7 months. Her mother was very nice and said that this was ok.

She was sooo poor in Thailand that almost all she ate was Papaya salad everyday. She was very malnourished and very skinny. After she got to America she started eating a lot. After about one year she looked much healthier and she filled out in all the right places. She really improved her looks through not only eating right but by wearing make up and nice clothes.

My condo is in one of the nicest neighborhoods in Seattle. It is not far from The Space Needle. My whole family rolled out the red carpet for her. My mother who lives only a few blocks away from me could not do enough for her. After a few weeks she started to get really homesick and she said she wanted a job right away.

I got her a great job at an upscale Thai restaurant that is easy walking distance from my home. It is a large restaurant staffed by mostly Thai people. Many Thai people in the community like to eat there and party in the bar area. It is the one on Queen Anne Hill.

I am telling you this part because I want you to see that she had a good life here with me. The whole time I knew her she had tried to use me as her slave. She always wants more money and demands to live like a Queen. Thai women equate money with love. She wanted to eat out a least every two days and if she did not get what she wanted she had a big angry fit. Thai people are very child like. This went on for about a year until one day Mike’s wife who I will call Naughtia called me.

She was depressed because she had tried many jobs and did not like any of them. They all paid about 8 or 9 dollars an hour. Her and her husband Mike were having financial difficulties at the time to the point that they were having trouble paying for food. I then opened my big mouth and told her she should work as a stripper. I told her she could make about $300 a night without having to have sex with the customers. She did not believe that this was possible.

She eventually went to a strip bar and tried the job for a night. I think she made about $400 her first night. She was hooked and she began to tell my wife all about the big money she was making. My wife told me that she was not Naughtia and that she could not work in a bar. A few months later my wife was having problems getting along with some off the people at her job. She had lost face and she said she could not work there anymore. She wanted to go and see Los Angeles and she said if I did not take her there she would go by herself. We then went to Los Angeles to visit Mike and his wife Naughtia.

Naughtia began to train my wife on how to work the pole at a bar. I did not like this but what could I do? I also thought maybe this would satisfy her love of money? My wife then spent her first night at the bar and made about $300. She came back late that night with big wide eyes bragging about how much she made. I was in Los Angeles for about 9 days and then I returned home. My wife assured me she would come back in a few weeks. She did not return for about 4 months, except for a few days to catch a flight to Thailand for a visit home. She was cheating on me. Mike allowed my wife to live in his living room and he said he did not want to get involved with my marriage problems.

I took a trip to Los Angeles to see if I could put the marriage back together. My wife treated me like complete shit the whole time. Even Mike’s parents commented about how she was just using me. When she did finally return to Seattle she went right to work in a strip bar. Even though she was making about $400 a night and living with me for free she still complained that she wanted more money from me. She would not tell me how much money she was sending to her family but I know it must have been at least $2500 a month!!! Her father would call to angrily complain that it was not enough money!!!

At the time I was working about 60 hours a week and driving an old Volkswagen. They were dirt poor when I met them and since I brought her to America they were driving a brand new truck. Yet her and her father complained bitterly!!!! Talk about being greedy and ungrateful!!! She told me she needed my money, not love. She also said how stupid I was for believing her and bringing her to America. She said I cannot just trust people as if I was to blame for her treachery. The last time I saw her she arrived in front of my condo in a taxi with a 20 year old white kid with his baseball cap on sideways. We got a divorce after only being married for less than a year and a half.

Her new husband to be called me one day. I tried to warn him about her and the way she treated me. I told him to read Stickman but he refused to believe me and he told me he believed the story she was telling him. I do not know what she really told him. It was something to the effect that I was not taking good care of her. They later married and had a daughter together. Mike was treated like shit by Naughtia and I do not know how they stayed married for 3 years. I know that Naughtia enticed my wife to live and work with her. By the way they were both lesbian lovers. Naughtia left Mike and got remarried. She had a son with her new husband.

Taking trips to Thailand and just having fun with the girls is the way to do it.

Bringing a girl From Thailand is a huge mistake!!!!!

The best book I have ever read on the subject of American and Thai culture is called Thailand Fever. It is written in English on one page and Thai on the next page. It is written by a Thai woman and a white man. It is written for a married Thai woman and western man so they can better understand each other. All the problems that are talked about in the book are the same problems my wife and I had.

The best description of Thai people I have ever read is on Stickman. It is by his own account his best reader's submission ever. It is incredibly accurate and detailed. It is for me one of the most amazing things I have ever read! My God, it is as if everything this site has been working towards has been articulated and summed up in 19,000 odd words. This is, in my mind, the best submission this site has ever received and to use an often used cliché, this submission is COMPULSORY READING for all farangs interested in pursuing a relationship with a Thai woman.”

Click to read it: “Why I never married a Thai

Lastly, here is an excerpt explaining my friend Mike’s conclusion on Thai women –

“This was my second marriage in all. My first wife was from Japan. Our marriage lasted 4.5 years. (Note* in 1994 Immigration papers were relatively easy to file. I filed them myself and saved a lot of money. Today it is more work and money to do it.) We were young and in love, but grew apart, partly due to my financial situation. She was unfaithful to me towards the end of our marriage to a wealthy patron of the restaurant where she worked. My personal feeling is that ALL women cheat out of loneliness. Because I was working so much and trying to finish college, our marriage relationship suffered. We grew apart and she eventually moved in with a pot-head and moved in with his parents in Arizona. They put her to work in their flower shop for $6 an hour. We have never kept in touch. In 1998 I embarked on my first trip to Thailand. Culture shock to say the least. I fell in love with the girlfriend like experiences I had there and still keep in touch with friends whom I met in the bars. One friend Jah eventually married a Frenchman and is happy. The other wed a German man and has had 2 children. I was careful at first not to get hooked, but after 4 years of on / off visiting, I decided that to give marriage another go. Yes, I wasted a lot of money and let my lower half do the thinking for me. If only travel visas were easier to procure for Thais visiting to the US, I would have not been inclined to marry. I took the gamble and lost big time! I am a generous person by nature and enjoyed the times we had. Every attempt I make to help acclimate Naughtia to the US way of doing things was grueling. She would buy clothes and send my money to her family. She would not attend English classes I set up for her either. She is simply lazy and stubborn and didn’t like to hear “no”. Ultimately, when my money dried up, so did our relationship. In retrospect, I and my parents feel that Naughtia planned to use me up from the start. In considering why money is always on a one-way trip to Thailand and not the other way; I realize that The 99% of the country girls view foreigner as walking ATMs. They call the US “the Golden Mountain” with no understanding of how hard people here in my demographic work. We have no lives except for work it seems. If I were a dirt poor Thai girl who had an opportunity to take a wealthy foreigner to the cleaners I would do so as well, I guess. I would have no integrity or reserve in milking him for all he has. The irony is that in Thailand it is the daughter that takes care of the parents. I have witnessed parents disowning their daughters who fail to kick-back their new money to them. US morals and honor codes regard husband and wife mean nothing in the Land of Smiles. Simply put, the only thing Thai women and Thailand for that matter wants from the US is money. “ – Mike

I now have a much better job and within a few years I should be able to afford to stay in Thailand for 2 months of the year. I am writing this as a warning to others and also as therapy. If you think your Thai girl is somehow different then think again! If just one man can learn from our stupid mistake writing this will have been well worth it!

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

Your situation is a little extreme and I think the conclusions that you have reached are unfair. First of all, you married a woman who was very young and frankly, too young to really know what she wants and too young to settle down. Secondly, while you said to her from the start that you did not want kids, I think that 99% of Thai women want kids so if you don't want kids, then the whole idea of marrying a Thai woman raises questions. Thirdly, and this is sad really, you need money to be married to a Thai woman. Many can burn through money and have no concept that there is not an unlimited flow. It is my experience that one of the traits of the better Thai women – from any level of society – is that they do not burn through money. They know about saving.

But the biggest mistake of all. Why on earth did you suggest to Mike's wife that she become a stripper. Absolute madness! I cannot understand why you did that. It is one thing to suggest it to someone you don't know who is desperate for money but when it is your best mate's wife – who happens to be friendly with your wife….hmmm!

Better luck with the next lady you meet!