Readers' Submissions

The House is Crumbling




When I was in fourth grade the teacher wrote a word on the board. This word was “cynical.” I asked her why she wrote this word and she explained that it was the word that described me best. Even from my formidable years I was a cynic.

I have read on this site many accounts of dishonesty and dangerous scenarios that would make any reasonable person sitting within the confines of their civilized western country cringe. It would be prudent to mark a red line through Thailand for vacation destinations if one based their decision on the influx of negative reports.

The Titanic has not hit the berg just yet folks. As a permanent resident in Thailand I can tell you the smiles and the genuine good-natured folks are still alive and well. I am fresh off another successful night of philandering and while this night holds nothing out of the ordinary I felt it necessary to recount it here so those who have been placed on the fence by negative reports can get a little balance.

I am a Cowboy fan. I used to be a Patpong fan, but it wore on me for the simple fact that they make no bones about their focus on short-term tourists. Tonight I hit Cowboy hard starting around 7pm.

My first stop was Toy Bar. I chose a bench seat away from the bar to get a good vantage point without being hassled. Immediately behind the bar a girl gave me a look of recognition and a beckoning over to her. Since she was cute I decided to uproot myself and head over. We had some menial conversation and she was a sweetheart so I decided to by her a cola, she made it a point to tell me I really didn’t have to buy her one because she liked talking to me. I am a bar-hopper so after my beer I headed out to another venue.

Walking down Cowboy I noticed a new snack stand. They now serve French fries on the soi which completes the ultimate hedonist meal which would be a Nana burger with Cowboy fries. I chuckled about this while getting my large fries at 70 baht and taking it into Midnite Bar. This bar was a little bit dead for being so early. Some of the girls on stage got a kick out of me eating fries while watching them gyrate, but I got the impression this spot wouldn’t be kicking off for a few hours so I headed to Sheba’s to get some vagina perspective.

In Sheba’s as usual there were many naked ladies to be seen. One in particular had the most perfect Isaan smile so I offered her a drink. She poured herself a tall Sangsom / Coke with no ice and drank it slow. Her and I sat together for a good hour just shooting the shit so much that I felt compelled to tip her 100 baht when all was said and done and it was off to another bar.

I have been way too drunk on Cowboy many times. One time in particular I was so drunk I couldn’t control myself. Upon seeing this a group of girls from Long Gun helped me home and got me into bed. I vaguely remembered the scene, but since this was my first trip back to Cowboy since the event I thought it pertinent to stop by the go-go and say hello. When I arrived they were all smiles and accommodation. One of the girls suggested we should drink together, and of course I was to pay. However, they told me to go to the convenience store in the middle of Cowboy to buy beer for everyone instead of buying from the bar and we would all just sit outside. Well I bought 7 large bottles of beer for less than 300 baht and we all spent a few hours just shooting the breeze in front of Long Gun kicking back beers until I was ready to get randy. <If the girls *genuinely* like you, they will insist you do this and don't pay the prices charged in the bar itselfStick>

Not wanting to cross out of the friend zone with these really good-natured girls I headed to the side of Cowboy to Twins. This bar is cheap cheap and you can get bar fine + room + short time for less than 2000 baht. I did just that and had one of the best girls I have had on Cowboy in awhile.

When all was said and done I was down about 3000 baht for the night. I walked out to Sukhumvit, hailed a taxi, and headed home. It was another great night in Bangkok.

Don’t be scared of Thailand. For every asshole you read about on this site there are 100 people who are genuinely good folks who will do anything to give you a good impression of the country.

Stickman's thoughts:

It's nice to read something positive.