What To Expect
As anyone who has spent any time amongst Thai women will tell you, you don’t want to be around them in the mornings. If they are awake at all, their petulance is especially grating when you haven’t even had your first cup of coffee. One may entertain thoughts of murder but by mid-afternoon you will wonder how one could ever feel poorly towards these innocent, fragile creatures.
Being married to a Thai woman can be an extremely frustrating experience. It’s not the smartest thing one can do, getting married, if one has the option of remaining single. But then again, getting married was never really an option for a man, now was it? The benefit accrues primarily to the wife, and to a lesser extent, the children, if any, and finally the husband. In a nutshell, getting married is all about not embarrassing the woman’s family. That’s it. They’re not embarrassed, so it’s OK for you to live with her. So what do you get out of it? Her. What does she get out of it? Well, to paraphrase the Stones, that would be Everything In The World You Could Possibly Imagine.
Elevating country bumpkins up to spoiled city girls is almost an art form among Western men, many of whom fail to perceive the dangers of doing so. For the Western man who brings his sweet, innocent teerak to Bangkok, or worse, England, Australia or America, he will get what he wants only until she changes into what he doesn’t want. For the woman, who can never go home again in a spiritual sense, it’s all about striding forward into the material world, which is not too cool for the husband who is a man and not a poofter.
This is not to say that anything a Thai woman throws at you during the course of marriage will be any worse than what you could expect from a typical American or English woman. In fact, it’s a whole lot better, which is why so many of us put up with their shenanigans. Compared to Western women, Thai women are fun. But why oh why do so many of us feel we need to get married to one? When one takes into account the hassles the average man will face in trying to tie the knot with a Thai woman, it’s just not worth it.
Let me clarify that last statement: If you enjoy whiny, pouty women from abroad who look a great deal more attractive than the manly, privileged, aggressive, entitled women you grew up around, then none of the above applies. If, however, you don’t want a wife who basically acts like a five-year old, then perhaps you should rethink any permanent legally binding ties. After all, if you are not qualified in the area of child psychology (and that would have to be Abnormal Child Psychology with a year-in, year-out toddler on board), then you will be one or both seeking counseling within short order. Probably one for both, if you get my drift.
Where does that leave you, the below-average-intelligence Western man? Just think about the reasons you married her and be happy about it. Expect a great deal of embarrassment and humiliation. It’s still less than you would suffer at the hands of a Western woman, so keep your chin up. Expect a certain amount of suffering as she refuses to move, et cetera. Expect inexplicable occurrences within checking accounts, savings accounts, and the like while you figure out she basically is lousy with money. Explain ad nauseum how you like things done, but don’t expect her to change too much. And don’t fight with her; you’ll never win.
Approached with the right attitude, marriage to a Nice Thai Girl can be very entertaining and educational, not to mention a great opportunity for self-improvement. Illegitimi ni corborundum!
If you look at your relationship in terms of time spent cultivating and maintaining it, a relationship with anyone is a major investment. So it cannot be overemphasized, the importance of investing in high-quality people. It is astounding how many guys think they can take a woman out of a bar or go-go situation and make a normal wife out of her. Would you do that at home in London? Same thing goes for the cleaning lady. When you encounter these individuals it is customary to leave a tip, not a wedding ring.
A high-quality Thai woman can be found almost anywhere, but they will be working retail rather than wholesale, and the better-looking ones can be found at almost any jewelry or makeup counter at any higher-end shopping center. At the end of the day, what you want is education. If you focus on college-degreed women, you have a much higher chance of communication success. Their English will be better, too. Setting a high benchmark for yourself does not mean limiting your chances; it might even raise them if you are serious about finding a ten.
Some punters say to avoid Isaan women altogether, but there are many GTGs in the northeast, so an entire region should not be dismissed merely because it is the closest low income populace to the tourist traps. A lot of people swear by Chiang Mai, but most , if not all, of the good Thai girls who would make an acceptable wife are going to be found in Bangkok, the educational and work capital of the country. So, if you are ready to find a good one, that’s where to start. Happy Trails!
"Investing in high quality people". You nailed it! One cannot argue against that. So why oh why do so many people do otherwise, I ask myself over and over again?!
Recommending an educated woman…yes, could not agree more.