Stickman Readers' Submissions November 28th, 2008

There Is Always A Positive

Love can be just a convenience…but sometimes it may just work.

I have two stories about the man and female interacting with each other for different means to gain something for themselves.

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I guess the question I pose here, is why do two people want to spend a great deal of time together or even the rest of their lives? I would like to think that it is something called LOVE? We feel this because often chemistry (or attraction), what each other does for one another or in a more spiritual way 'a soul connection'. We all have our beliefs and without going into too much detail or what I believe, I understand that we have several soul connections in our lives where we are intended to meet given people to help us grow. These people can be considered negative or positive to us at the time, but it always should be looked at as a positive experience and something which has helped us grow and move forward in our lives.

So I want to look at a couple of different versions of soul connections and what could be classified as love…for real or not for real, they are significant experiences and have helped myself and another friend of mine grow and move forward in life.

This is a website based on Thailand I know, but I believe that the world over, gives us the same challenges with soul connections and therefore want to start with an experience I had in Eastern Europe, Bulgaria. I will then end with another with a friend of mine and his Thai Wife.


I am 33 today, and when I was 20 years old, a friend introduced me to a fancy little chat program called ICQ. It was new and I wasn't so keen to look at it as the internet didn't interest me that much. However, I decided to sign up a name and give it a go as my friend really recommended it for fun. Back then, this was very new and I was blown away by the fact I could talk real-time with someone from another country. The internet itself wasn't nearly as popular and large in scale as it is these days, so I guess one could say the world back then felt much smaller.

I would say within 3 months of using ICQ, I somehow managed to meet a girl from Bulgaria. She became a regular person to chat with and before I knew it, I was talking to her each day. We were sharing great stories and learning about one another and our countries. But it came to such a shock to me how she lived. The country only just came out of communism, but was still very much exposed to the laws and ways of this lifestyle they previously lived. If memory serves me correctly, they had electricity turned on for 4 hours a day and then turned off for 3 hours. The same for water which was intermittently available at different times during the day. Everyone lived in what the West would call 'housing commission flats", but often worse than this. They also didn't make much money at all and times were hard.

I was basically in a state of disbelief. I was a young guy and not too experienced with life in other countries. In the beginning I had to ask her where Bulgaria was in the world. I had no clue. I ran a design business from home and could use much of my time chatting with her on the net throughout the day and she also did the same when she was at her work. Exchanging many photos, hand written letters through traditional post, and also phone calls, I had this ever-so-HUGE desire to be with this girl. There was nothing like this moment in my life. I had developed such strong feelings for this girl and I couldn't believe it myself. It was a new thing and the whole internet dating hadn't taken off at all and it was during that time that it was only a freak story you would hear through the grapevine that someone flew overseas they met on a website. So I was almost embarrassed that I had met this girl and felt the way I did with devoting such a large amount of my time with communications with her.

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I had to meet her, so I did.

Sure I had been to Hong Kong and China with the family when about 10 years old, but I considered myself someone who had never really been overseas as I was so young before. I booked a plane ticket to go to Bulgaria. A place I knew such little about, a place that sounded terrible, largely a place which was a 3rd world country and to meet a girl I fell in love with over the internet. The girl was also married to an abusive husband, so the element of risk or danger was also high. I felt like I was on this heroic secret rescue mission in one of the most romantic times of my life. I even packed an engagement ring!!!!!!

After almost 24 hours of catching 3 separate flights, I arrived in Bulgaria. It was the most insane experience as I walked off the plane and into the airport. I felt such an overwhelming sensation of so many different feelings. Such excitement, yet so nervous to see this amazing girl. I had an incredible amount of anxiety from just landing in a completely foreign country for the first time by myself where no one speaks english and nothing is written in English.

And there she was…My Boriana Novakova..standing over the other side of the large airport room, we locked eyes, and it was like nothing else existed for the moment except for the both us and that we finally got through all the challenges to see and be with one another. We walked at such a rapid pace, almost resembling a sprint, and yet it was like slow motion. We grabbed each other like we were never going to let go. WE MADE IT!!!! WE ARE TOGETHER!!!! The movie had starting filming!

What followed was to be one of the most amazing times of my life. Such a beautiful person she was…such a caring person she was…Nothing else mattered but the two of us. We travelled the country in a car and loved every minute of our time together. It was like she was escaping from her hideous husband and lifestyle and I was free from all my problems I had back home. I was in absolute shock at the state of the country and the lifestyle herself and so many lived. To me it was like another planet from where I had come from. Some say Thailand is bad…but Bulgaria is right up there and many parts were like living in an industrial dump. Streets were aligned 6 foot high with and all on fire. Everything was broken down and falling apart. There were countless people with some disease where they looked like the elephant man with growths deforming their entire body's. Cripples would be scattered throughout the streets, one without legs dragging himself up a road on a piece of cardboard for mobility. I was in another world.

After a beautiful journey together I gave her the engagement ring I took with me and we vowel led to be with one another again as soon as we could. I left her to go to the airport and remember her turning around and saying," I love you"…and at this time I knew this girl was to be with me the rest of my life.

I returned home with no other agenda other than how the hell was she going to get into Australia. Well, we busted our chops in every way imaginable way and the only solution was for her to work in another country where by we could marry and it would be easier to get the appropriate visa.

Dubai it was.

She applied for jobs in several countries and got a job to work in the Burj Al Arab with all the other largely underpaid 3rd world country people they employ to be their bitches. In an uncontrollable frenzy of built up emotions to be with one another, each day we were hoping for the day when they would fly her to start work. I was ready to leave Australia as soon as she left Bulgaria. She was supposed to fly over every next week for a month to start work but they kept delaying her. I eventually got onto a sheik that ran the hotel. The things you do for love..that was hard work …(I spent $1000's each month on phone calls to Bulgaria and Dubai for approximately 6 months.) And explained the situation to Mr. Sheik and he flew her over in the next 3 days.

Well…what can I say about my soul connection Boriana…worst thing I could ever of done was to continue anything outside her country. BANG!!!!…I left my business and told all my clients I am to live in Dubai so I cannot work with them anymore, sold a car which took me 2 years to build from a bare metal shell, used every single savings I had to embark on a journey to end in absolute disaster.

I arrived at the airport in Dubai and it was OK! I was excited at least!!! We went back to my hotel loom (hehe sorry room), and spend about 1 hour together before she had to go to work. The mission was to find work there myself and then we could eventually marry after about a year and come back to OZ together.

So I was out looking for work in the ridiculous heat in a bloody suit. Staying in the 'slums style' area of a not yet very developed Dubai. Living like shit, hardly eating as my cash was not in a great state. I was there in total for 4 weeks before the shit storm came thundering down. I saw Boriana a total of about 5 hours during this time. She was always having to work apparently. I busted my arse to find a job, and was finding it hard emotionally as I couldn't ever see. Luckily I made friends with many of the people that worked in the hotel and they informed me that she was with another Bulgarian guy. A life guard to be exact!!! I almost exploded…

I couldn't leave my hotel because I ran out of money and couldn't pay for it…So I had to stay there until someone could get me out of my trouble. I stormed down to Boriana's living quarters and waited for hours until I could finally see her…I went to get my ring back, ask some questions and get out of the shit country of sweaty Dubai. She slammed the ring in my hand and turned around and walked towards her room with nothing to say to me. She then continued to slam the door right in my face. I lost all my cool and punched her door and walked off. As I look down my hand is dripping copious amounts of blood and I realise it has to be broken as it is almost twice the size. It was the biggest insult in my life after everything I did for this girl, that she cannot even say sorry or a thank you.

So I was stuck in this shit place, couldn't pay the hotel, heart broken to the highest degree, had nothing to go back home to, and a broken hand. What else could go wrong? God knows…It was the peak of the lowest…

I called her hotel up over and over again asking for Boriana. I was in a very revengeful way and thought if I lose everything, she can lose everything too. After sending fax after fax and phone call after phone call, she finally spoke to me. She said if she gets one more fax or one more phone call to her work, the manager will fire her and send her back to Bulgaria. So what did I do????? I let it be…what's revenge, where does it get you…there had to be something positive about this anyway? I guess she got what she wanted…got out of her country and on the road to some sort of success. Whatever, if that is what she wanted she can have it, but I wasn't going to sink down to her level of humanity and cruelty.

Luckily a few days after, I was rescued by an old friend of mine who I just found out happened to be a stewardess on Emirates and she got me out of all my trouble and took me back to where all the girls stay!!! HAHA!!! I must say…there would of been about 12 Stewardess's there to greet me and I lived in a fancy big apartment. OK things were looking up again?! They bandaged up my broken hand, and the healing begun. 12 months later I recovered from my broken heart though.

I see this soul connection with Miss Bulgaria as something really positive now. It was my next step in life…It got me out of my home business and into a much more profitable future where I now work in Television with my own business still, but doing everything I could ever want. It would never of happened if it wasn't for this girl. So I like to try to remember the time in Bulgaria for what it was. One of the most beautiful moments in my life for so many reasons…and Dubai…it should never of happened!!!


This is only short.

A friend of mine who is 63 years old, living by himself in someone's bungalow in their backyard with hardly any money, no job and on government benefits. He was a man generally on the run from many things. He frequented a Thai restaurant up the road for his meals and met a Thai lady who cooked there. After about 6 months he was friends with everyone in the place. He was this sort of guy…people cannot dislike him. The lady there who cooked needed a visa to stay in the country or she was on the wagon back home. So my mate put his hand up and said OK..I will marry you if it helps you out. He had never been to Thailand..knew nothing about the place or people. He did it out of the goodness of his heart.

There was no love there at all…just helping out some…Good bloke…Well i have to say, from helping her out, the both of them have developed a strong connection to one another and are very happy. The plan was to just marry, and devoice as soon as they could and the favour was done. It has been over 2 years now and they are still together and no sign of separating. He has found support in his life through another…he now lives in a nice house by the beach, she is the sole worker and supplies the bulk of cash in the relationship but it has given him the opportunity to try and grow his own business. She cooks fantastic food for him every night, does all the clothes washing and of course he now has a better sex life. He helps her out whenever he can also and they live a normal healthy relationship as we know it in the west.

So I say good on him. There was no bullshit from the get go and they knew what they were doing but because of this honesty in the beginning and the form of friendship it takes to help someone out, they in turn have helped out each other. So I say good luck to the both of them and it makes me very happy to see.

So what is life about? Life is basically an awesome experience. With all the bad, there is always the good. And I believe that if we all do good to one another, we always get it back in return in one way or another…Even if it is years down the track we realise this, everything happens for a purpose. Just do good!!!! I say that again in capital letters…JUST DO GOOD!!! If someone does something bad to you…revenge is never the answer…Let it be…they will get what they deserve down the track…and why would you want to pay back someone who has done something you believe is negative to your lifestyle, when no matter what they have done you should thank them…In my belief, say thank you for everything that happens, whether it is coincidence or out of the will of someone, because it is your positive growth in life, and each and every thing we go through is to lead us in the correct direction for our benefit. And hey…If you are Buddhist, then you may even just know that the next life, concurs with what happens this time, and our soul is being developed for the next life…there is always a positive.

Love life…appreciate all your experiences…and no matter how bad something appears to be, it is always good!!!


Stickman's thoughts:

Comments to follow a little later as am extremely busy at the moment.

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