Readers' Submissions

PHIT 22 – Fattys and other Australian treats

  • Written by Anonymous
  • November 29th, 2008
  • 8 min read

Hi there Stickies. Aha hear again writing this report from Australia where me I have gone for a look see. Last time Aha came to Australia was a few years ago so it is interesting to see the changes. The biggest change is the large number of large womens. Oh my god! These fatties is so big it is truly sickenings.

Me I came hear for a holiday. A taste of civilization me I was thinking. A bit of time away from the tiring exertions so many of they Japanese and Thai ladies has been putting me through. Bart he could not come. He came back from the USA a few weeks back as you might recall. He new what Aha was going to see. Argh what a disappointment.

Sure they is a few beautiful womens down here in Australia but not too manys like in Thailand that is for sure yesireee! Me I saw one womans must of weighted in at 250 kilos for sure. She was strapped into a wheelchair because she cannot walking. How can anyone living like that I ask you eh?

The problem for these fatties is that theys are just plain lazy and stupid. You wakes up in the morning and looks in the mirror right? What do you see? More to the point what do these fatty people see? Me I think they are deluding theyselfs or they just don’t looking in the mirror. They eat and eat and eat and stuff theyselfs all day long. I reckon they livers must be very tasty eh? My ancesters would of liked to meet some of these fatties.

Coming here has opened my eyes. Living in Thailand we tend to get a bit annoyed sometimes with some of the crap that goes on there eh? But when you come to a place like this where everything is regimented and “in it’s place” you gotta wonder which place is better eh? Me I hired a BMW car to drive around and see stuff. Everyone drives real carefully (that I could see so far anyways). You hardly ever sees any cops around but they don’t need to. If you step on the gas a bit on what looks like a nice long clear way ahead you can bets you last dollar there is a damn speed camera lurking there to take your picture.

It is not all bad though. I did mention that there is some nice womens here didn’t I? Oh yeah. Me I have already met and bedded a few. The girls here they is not backward in coming forward. They telling me what they like and some of that does not include getting married let me tell you! No sireeeeee!! HaHaHaHaHaAha!!!

One young womans she be about early thirties. She already divorced from her husband because he drinks too much, gambles on the horses and football, and he was hopeless in bed. This womans she is so hot and horny Aha had a hard time keeping up with her the first time. Whoooooooeeeee! She sure did want everything at once. Now she and me we is what they call “fuck buddies” now. When Aha got off the plane me I bought an Aussie phone so I can give the number to Australian shielas and not have to worrying when I leave the country that they will be chasing me. You have gots to be careful eh? So she is calling me every day now. What a hot woman’s she be! It is nice to know what is waiting for me when I returning to Sydney before jumping on the plane for LOS again.

The younger Australian girls they is not much use me I am finding. Not like my lovely Thai or Japanese womens no siree. The young girls here they is wanting the full romantic trip. You knows. Take them out for dinner and drinks and maybe a show a few times. Then she might giving you a peck on the check. If she likes you she might go further on the fifth or sixth date and then later on you can move around her body a bit. But no way is you going to get to the golden place until you “make a commitment”. How boring. Who wants to waste all that time? So Aha, me I am concentrating on meeting older womens. Some of them in their thirties and early forties is not too bad looking and they knows what they wants. None of this coy business. No sireee. if they see what they like they going to like what they see. Suits me. Pussy is pussy eh?

My Aussie friend Bazza he is in his early forties and he has worked out the same thing. He is chasing the same womens Aha is and we is both having a ball so to speak.

Me I been traveling around this country a bit. Sydney was great. Many Asian womens there. But some of they has been there too long and they got like their western sisters. The younger ones is just married to Aussie mens and they is hard to get. Then there is the ones who has been married for a few years and then divorced. These are the ones Aha was meeting up with. Oh yeah! They sure do like a real mans who can give them what they wanting without any commitment.

Canberra was a bit too cool for Aha. Not that the nights were cold. No siree. The first day Aha went to the War Museum that was interesting. While walking around there was a bunch of young Asia womens about mid-twenties. They had a few Aussie womens with them too. One shiela (love that word!) she had on Ug boots you know them ugly looking things that look like an inside out sheeps vagina. The boots suited the woman though. They were ugly and so was she. Big fat and ugly in Ug boots. What a combination eh? But never let it be said something as repulsive as that put Aha off eh? No matter what she tried to do to block my attentions the Asian girls they could see a good thing when I started talking to them in Thai. Not too long and Aha he had an invitation to dinner at one girls house; a present from her ex-husband from the divorce settlement.

Then Aha drove up the coast to Queensland. Me I did not stop much along the way except in Byron Bay. Someone had told Aha there was a lot of horny womens there too. What they forgots to mention was they was all these arty farty hippy types in old shapeless dresses and no makeup. Me I like a natural womans but not when they have hair hanging down to their elbows from their armpits eh? If there was a sheep shearing shed around me I reckon it would be easy to make some real good money shearing all them shielas.

Queensland is a pussy hunters paradise. They coming from all states down south looking for sunshine fun and sex not necessarily in that order eh? While in Surfers Paradise Aha went to the casino and found two blonds that was up from Melbourne. Whoooeeee! Them girls was so hot we needed to turn down the aircon in my suite to about sixty degrees for the first few hours. Aha might not be here to tell you all about it if we had no aircon. Them girls was up for anything and let me telling you they did mean everythings. All good things must come to an end and they sure did find mine let me tell you.

The next day we crused up the highway through Brisbane (nothing much there) and on to the Sunshine Coast. We stopped along the way at the craziest looking pub ever. They called it the Etamoga Pub. The beer was good but the architecture looked a bit unsafe so we only stopped for a piss up and a piss. See? Aha is getting the hang of the Aussie lingo already eh?

On the Sunshine Coast my girls they had a coupla friends and we went and stayed with they. The house was on a headland overlooking the sea with large plate glass windows. What a great view to wake up to. Nice place. Nearly as luxurious as my home on Victoria Island up in Canada. We staying there three days and them girls kept Aha busy yesireee! There was cries of Samoa! Samoa! all night long.

In the daytime me I took them to the beach and then for a big lunch at one of the best Italian restaurants on the coast. Then one day we went to Steve Irwin’s wild animal farm. Another day we went to the Little Morge Winery. You would not believe this place. It was a morge before they converted it to a winery. They serve the wine in a small coffin! Indeed they do my Stickie friends. Good wine too. If you taking a trip down here you must give it a try.

Tomorrow Aha is going up north a bit where a friend has his ninety foot yacht. We going to cruise out around the Great Barrier Reef. My little blond sisters they are coming along and we have arranged for a few more shielas as company for my friend. We is going to have some real fun Stickies. So time for Aha to stop now. I be back next week. Meanwhile you thanking your lucky stars you up in Thailand where the womens are mostly slim and beautiful. Aha is slogging it out downunder in the land of the fattys….well not all fattys HaHaHaHaHaAha!!!


Stickman's thoughts:

Goodbye, Aha…