Stickman Readers' Submissions November 7th, 2008

Marrying my Thai Girlfriend

When I was a young man back in the mid 80’s, I met a Filipino bar girl while my submarine was visiting Cubi Point. To make a long story short, we got married, had two kids, she shacked up with a man while I was out to sea, then I reciprocated
by cheating on her before she left me taking the kids with her. We got divorced after 8 years, more good than bad and three terrible years.

I made a clean start by transferring from Hawaii to Washington State. I decided that I liked being married much more than being single so it was time to start dating again. I was successful at finding sex, but not at finding passion or love.
I had learned to enjoy chatting when I was laid up with a badly broken leg during the last 18 months of my failed marriage. My years in Hawaii had left me with a great preference for brown women (Asian, Malay, Polynesian) and I preferred to chat
with them more than white women even if they were not at ease with English. One of the women I chatted with on occasion was a young lady named Nid who worked as an accountant for a restaurant chain in Bangkok. Her written English was fairly good,
but attempts at voice chatting were frustrating.

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After receiving some back pay from the Navy in late 1999, I decided that a vacation was in order; possibly a return to Hong Kong or the Philippines as I had experience in both places. I considered Thailand, but had never been there before
and knew that English was much less commonly spoken there. The obvious solution was to find someone to show me around as I had enjoyed my other trips to the Orient when accompanied by a local. I asked Nid to be my tour guide; she agreed as long
as her sister was allowed to accompany us. I thought this was strange as she was 27 years old, but she insisted. She told me she would get in trouble with her mom if it was found out (her sister would tattle) she was walking around with a strange
farang. We agreed that she would show me around Bangkok and I would pay for cab rides and treat both women to dinner each evening. At the time I had no attraction to Nid as she was a rather short, plain-looking woman with short legs and tended
to dress like a boy when she was not at work. But a tour guide was a tour guide.

When I was making my way through customs in Bangkok, it occurred to me that we had really did not know much about each other. I did not know if she would be waiting for me at the airport or even if she was a guy! Hahahaha. But Nid was there
with her sister as promised. It was the late flight, so all the girls had time for was to drop me off at the hotel so they could go back to their apartment to sleep before going to work (Nid) and going back to class (her sister). I was not ready
for sleep so I went out, sampled the food at one of the vendors and got a massage. The next morning I found my way to Patpong and it was dead. I shopped until the afternoon then accompanied Nid and her sister around the city. Both of the girls
were pleasant company. They never asked for anything from me but rather enjoyed showing me around. We communicated by passing notes back and forth to ensure little was lost in translation which was rather amusing at the time. After three days
of touring the city with the girls, and amusing myself during the late nights, I invited both girls to accompany me to Phuket where I was to scuba dive, but they refused as their mom would not approve. I found myself attracted to Nid, but even
though I have sex on the brain, I kept my hands to myself and managed to not insult her with any lewd conversation or offers

After I returned home I decided that Thailand was worth a return trip six months later. Each morning when I checked my e-mail, Nid was waiting for me on ICQ (she surfed at work) and we chatted for a few minutes before I went to work. We decided
to get to know each other better and she planned a scuba diving trip to Koh Tao for me. She would not go alone with me, so her sister and a friend (hot hard-bodied aerobics queen) accompanied us. We ended up at a tiny resort with electricity running
for only 12 hours a day. While the girls joined me snorkeling, I went with other tourists and locals diving. The girl taking my diving reservation was a beautiful young Japanese girl with a bleached crew cut. Nid and her friend noticed that I
gave her a good long look, but did it politely (is that possible?). Nid had not spent any time alone with me on my first trip, but we did have time to ourselves on Koh Tao. I grew much closer and she became more than my tour guide, but less than
a girlfriend. She also turned down my marriage proposal. After we returned to Bangkok, Nid’s mother showed up to visit. I guess she wanted to know more about the man who was interested in the daughter she thought would never get married.
Her mom was nice, but I’m sure she was not exactly approving of me.

I returned to Thailand each year to vacation with Nid and got to know her sister, two brothers and mom more, if not very well. Nid’s mom was twice divorced but managed to put all four of her kids through college on a high school teacher’s
salary. She had recently had a nice house built out of the remains of her grandmother’s old home. I sent money one time so Nid could buy herself something, but she never got the letter. Nid said foreign mail addressed to females was sometimes
opened and pilfered at the post office. My solution to this was to send Nid a credit card. Nid used it to buy airline tickets on the local airlines we used on vacation together and for little things. She always told me when she used it and never
abused the privilege of having it. The only expensive things I bought her were a computer (she paid me back), refrigerator and washing machine.

One of the things that Nid said attracted her to me was the fact that I had never tried to engage in sex chat with her even after we got to know each other. We both chatted with others online, but she would immediately ignore any man who
asked what she was wearing. While on Samui one year she asked if I wanted to take advantage of the massage offered on the beach. I told her maybe later. I did get a massage in my bungalow; it was almost done when Nid came knocking. Fortunately
the massage was a real one; I was able to answer the door immediately after she knocked. She talked to the massage girl for a few minutes and I felt she was trying to find out if I was being a good boy while I had her alone in my shack.

In 2002 she finally accepted a third marriage proposal, but I told her we had to wait until I retired from the Navy and got a job. She had an engagement party at her mom’s house near Chiang Mai. It was cheaper than a Thai marriage,
but I was still rather poor as I was living on low pay while on limited duty in the Navy. The engagement consisted of a dinner with Nid’s friends (whom I knew) and her family (most of whom I did not). One of Nid’s aunts asked (interrogated?)
me about my family and job. I guess she and others may have been interested in how good a catch I was (or wasn’t). By this time Nid’s mom approved of the marriage though.

In 2003 I got a new job and again asked Nid to wait so that I could devote the summer to my son who was visiting. Nid showed up before the summer ended, met my son then we hopped on a plane to Hawaii to get married on the Kaneohe Bay beach.
In 2004 we got married in a Thai ceremony at her mom’s house. My mom, sister and brother in-law attended. I enjoyed it a lot as it was much different than anything I had seen before. There were over 200 people there, most of whom had never
met me or any American before. Her enthusiastic younger brother did a very shaky job taping the wedding as he was moving around and whopping it up so much. I bribed my way past two young ladies to gain entrance into the house then sat down in
a chair so my wife could wash my feet to symbolize I was the boss. Nid got her revenge later on. After 20 minutes of kneeling in front of the monks while they chanted, I filled some small bowls with rice for them. Nid put her hand over mine as
I spooned out the rice and whispered to me that this meant she was the real boss of the house. I looked up to see the monk in front of us smiling. I had been had!

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The five years we have been married have not been very passionate, but have been stress free and enjoyable for the most part. She spends 2-3 months in Thailand with her family each year, a small price for me considering her sacrifice of leaving
Thailand. Nid is proud of the fact she has never paid a finance charge on a credit card and my house is nearly paid for after only seven years. I tell her I love her because she is cheaper than I am. She has a license but hates to drive. After
reading all about the misfortunes of others on Pantip, she thinks that I am a decent catch. Good enough I guess.

Stickman's thoughts:

It's nice to hear a positive story.

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