Readers' Submissions

It Is What It Is

  • Written by Brian
  • November 20th, 2008
  • 4 min read


Just been to Thailand on a 5 day “tour’ in Phuket Patong beach and as expected did not disappoint. It was my first time to the kingdom but in my younger years. I had been to Manila a few times so had a reasonable idea of what awaited. Hi, I'm Brian. I'm 40 and have been married for 15 wonderful years to an understanding wife and I am a sex addict. I think I admitted such to myself about 5 years ago and while I don’t go to parlors anymore in Westernland I am at present allowed outside my cage 2 times a year to travel for a few short days at a time to do what I need to do. I should feel guilty but when I reach my destination all I feel is a great sense of freedom and relief and when I return the inevitable withdrawal symptoms occur. They usually pass in about 3 – 4 weeks. You have to expect a downer upon return and accept it for what it is and of course you can't expect to be on a high after returning from a men’s fantasy park. That’s just the way it goes.

Anyway, my take on Thailand was it is a paradise for men but they should have signs at the airport on entry and exit reminding guys "don’t feed the birds". Of course you have to compensate a lady for her time spent with you but upon return you need to try not sending money as it keeps encouraging the ladies to think of new and inventive ways for them to get the guys to part with their finances and thus making it slightly more tricky for the next batch of guys arriving. It does seem an easy place to walk around, even at 3 AM down dimly lit streets (not a practice recommended in the Philippines). The people seem very friendly and the girls, as expected, addictive.

I read a lot of articles on this site and see a lot of guys falling for bar girls and I feel I could easily fall for one (or two) myself. My take on this is the only way I could see any possible western guy having a relationship with one of these fine ladies would be to stay in Thailand with them for an indefinite period so I guess you would need to be reasonably well financed or retired to do this as you could live with the girl and at least when you give her money you are getting a return for your investment instead of sending money from across the other side of the world in the certain knowledge other guys are also enjoying her company while you are not there.

I think if you do fall for a lovely lady as such you can't ask or expect her to stay just true to you as this is not reality, although you should get a good run if staying there with her (most of the time). The one thing on this site that I find interesting is the amount of people who have this preoccupation with trying to decipher Thai culture. While in Thailand as a visitor it is important to observe local rules and customs whilst there but people seem to want to dive deep into their mindset. I think it is what it is and rather than having too big of a preoccupation with it, it's best to leave the mindset of Thais to Thais. Of course for guys wanting to either get married to a Thai or spending a long period of time in Thailand it is understandable to want to get to know the culture well but I still think it very important not to sacrifice your own self beliefs in order to mesh into the system. You are still you no matter where you go. It doesn’t mean being arrogant or impolite. It just means recognizing your own boundaries and making the people around you aware of them.

I am waiting for the day my wife tells me no more and kicks me out then I think I might do a 12 month stint in Asia. I think that might include a slice in Thailand as I find the ladies great to be with and I think I wouldn’t mind a brief liaison with one or two of the ladies. The only downside from the inevitable ending is I guess I would probably have to move to a new place so as to avoid unpleasantries but it's one of the hazards of living the dream. I guess I miss those younger days in the Philippines and the rush I got every night before I went out to meet the lady of my one night dreams.

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

I wonder why you remain in a marriage when your heart is clearly not in it. You only live once…