Stickman Readers' Submissions October 22nd, 2008

Why I Would Marry A Thai Woman

Back when I was a young teenager I remember being in a church in Penang, Malaysia with my mother one day when she pointed out a pair of gorgeous Chinese/Western twins and whispered in my ear, “Don’t ever marry an Asian woman or your children will be half breeds like them!”

I couldn’t work out what the problem was, and to this day I still can’t see it. I have married three Thai women. The latest one has given me two adorable daughters that are a constant source of joy to this old bloke. They are keeping me young, and yes, working very hard too so that I can provide the best education and life possible for them.

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My current wife is from Esarn. She was working for an international firm that sells perfumes when we met. There she was standing behind her counter in Central department store giving me a big smile as I walked past. I stopped to talk to her. The rest is history.

She is an excellent mother, a good housekeeper, and a wonderful wife and friend to me. We don’t share the same interests. Nor would I want her to. She is her own woman and I respect her for that. She also respects my interests. We can’t always discuss deep intellectual matters, but we do discuss things like the latest news, medical and health issues, as well as the education of our daughters. I have to confess she is much better than me at helping our eldest study each night to do her homework. We share our responsibilities. She takes care of the house and I bring home the money. Whenever I can I help out around the house but she understands when I cannot. I am also completely free to go out with my friends for a drink whenever and for as long as I like. She has the same freedom. We never question each other about it. As a result, that trust translates into a very secure marriage. So I can say with some pride that marrying an Asian woman has been a gratifying and enjoyable experience.

What were my previous marriages like?

The first wife was also an excellent choice. She was well educated, came from a rich Chinese family that owns one of the largest pencil manufacturing companies in Thailand. She worked as a government employee for the MEA (electricity authority), and until she met me she had lived a very sheltered life. But she took to my lifestyle immediately and we quickly opened an English school that was very successful for over ten years. Then we broke up because of a tragic incident that unfortunately drove an emotional wedge between us. No, it had nothing to do with being unfaithful. The incident was very personal and it tore the both of us apart. However, we were and still are friends, but we couldn’t stay married any more. We would have broken apart no matter what ethnicity we both were.

At the same time our marriage was falling apart I met the next woman who was to be my ‘wife’ although we never married. She was a bargirl. I fell off the rails for a few years after meeting her but even that was a very good marriage in many ways. We shared a lot of joys, the occasional sorrow; I helped her daughter by her deceased Thai husband to grow up into a beautiful young woman. But of course, my ‘wife’ was a bar girl first and foremost and the relationship was doomed. Despite this, we are still good friends. She lives a long way upcountry, but we talk on the phone occasionally.

So you can see that I have extensive experience in high class, middle class, and low class women. Did their class have any effect on our relationship? Of course not. They were all first and foremost women. Even my bar girlfriend was a woman first with feelings. That was why we clicked. To this day I consider myself very lucky to have met such a woman. I took away more from that relationship than you would ever dream.

So judging Thai women by status, whiteness of skin, or education, or the handbag they carry, or the clothes they wear is just plain ludicrous. Jayson and CJ have both displayed an abominable lack of maturity and lack of self-confidence through their criticism of relationships between west and east. I also visited the forum that CJ provided a link to in his submission and found it a depressing and sad collection of misfits. They cry about their inability to attract the white women they crave so much. Many of them have become bitter and anguished as a result.

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As JDC pointed out in her excellent rebuttal, women are attracted to confident men who exude a relaxed manner that puts women at their ease. Have you ever noticed that a lot of the most beautiful women around are often escorted by ugly looking brutes you wouldn’t think had one redeeming feature about them?

They get the best looking women because they look beyond the woman’s beauty and appeal to her intellect, her feelings, and they encourage her to believe in her own self worth. Women also love a good sense of humor. These are the secrets to success with women; not a Mercedes Benz, or a Piaget watch, or a fat bankroll. Of course, it’s nice if you have them, but they are certainly not a requirement for most women.

By now you are probably wondering if I have ever had anything to do with Western women. Of course I have, in Australia and New Zealand. In both countries I never had any problem attracting beautiful women. In fact one girlfriend in NZ was a top model. When I met her she was my secretary. I introduced her to a friend of mine who owned a modeling agency, and within six months my ex-secretary was earning top dollar and appearing in magazines, newspapers, TV and so on. Before and after her I had plenty of other beautiful and intelligent girlfriends from all walks of life.

Those who know me would never call me handsome. Perhaps you could call my looks striking, maybe. I have a large nose (air is free!), but many women tell me it is the twinkle in my eye and the ready smile that first attracts them to me. I am nothing special yet I have never had a problem finding women. Nor do many of my friends. They are all self confident, happy men who enjoy life to the full. That is an attractive quality in anyone. Yet CJ would look down on my friends because they don’t meet his standards of appearance or social status.

Other writers here have tackled Jayson and CJ for the many ignorant statements they have made so I won’t bother. But I found CJ’s statements about the status of foreign men in Thailand insulting and misinformed. He obviously hasn’t had enough experience here to understand how the farung network works. Nor does he hang out with the right people. Citing RCA as a ‘quality’ place to go to meet Thai women had me rolling on the floor in laughter. He is too obsessed by social status, skin color, etc. All of these are indicators of a very shallow personality. He must have a very long nose from looking down it all the time.

Nothing is what it ever seems in Thailand, whether you are dealing with Thais or westerners. I know businessmen here who are down to earth, straight talking people who love to have a bit of social fun, but who can be hard headed and even ruthless sometimes when it comes to business. I doubt CJ would stand a chance in that crowd. Lamb to the slaughter. He’s lucky he has a corporate job where he can feel relatively safe. It would be interesting to hear what his Thai staff thinks of him though. I bet his ears are burning more often than not.

So my answer to Korski, and to Jayson and CJ is that marriage to an Asian woman can be every bit as rewarding as to an African woman, an American woman, or even an Eskimo. It all depends on how mature you are, your approach to women in general, and the respect you give women. Always judge everyone on their merits, not on their perceived value by the car they drive or the trinkets they can afford.

Stickman's thoughts:

It's interesting that of your three wives, one from each of the main three tiers of society, it is the woman from the middle class that has been the most successful to date.

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