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Raise Your Hands if You Are Sexist!!!

  • Written by Anonymous
  • October 11th, 2008
  • 11 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


Mens, this week we must look in the mirrorz and tell each others what we see. Are all mens the same? Do we all have the same instincts? Ok, let us get to the meet of the subject, mens raise your hands if you are sexist! Blackest Barts hands are raised all the way to the moon mens. Blackest Bart is a major sexist type of mens. I think most men who are not wedgie mens are sexists and even the wedgie mens want to be sexist but like everything else they do, they just do not know how to do it well. Let me explanating.

Sexism comes in two flavors and really in Blackest Bart’s mind it should only come in one. Thank the feminazi’s for clouding such a fun and serious issue. One flavors and the flavor brought to you by feminazi’s is about discrimination. Let Blackest Bart be the first to say he loves womens! Womens should never be discriminated against at work, financially, or in any way just because they are womens. Christ on a waterboard, are we barbarians? Blackest Bart would never discriminate against women, in fact I would be more likely to hire a womens to serve my needs, or cook for me, or clean my big house, or crew on my big boat, or wash my cars. Why? First, because I think womens are better suited for jobs like these and also because they look nicer doing it. Face it mens, would you rather watch another mens soap up your muscle car, or a 25 year old hot and toned beauty in a bikini? See, how can Blackest Bart even think about discrimination!

The second flavor of sexism is about our behaviors and attitudes that stereotype womens into social roles based on gender. Blackest Bart pleads GUILTY AS HELL to this one. I do not care what religion you are or are not, mens know that womens were created and put on this earth to do and be good at all the things mens either can not or should not do. I craps you not! Let me jump ahead of ourselves to raising children. When YOU were a baby mens, did you want fat old Uncle Albert taking care of you, changing your nappys, feeding you, singing to you, and telling your bedtimes stories, or did you want sexy Aunt Sally with the big boobs that made your mouth water thinking about supper time, and a voice of an angel, not to mention wiping your arse as necessary? If you had a baby girl would you want fat old Uncle Albert changing her nappys and wiping her arse, or sexy Aunt Sally? Case closed mens, there is not even a discussion about this “social role” is there?

Now mens, tell me just what the hell is wrong with being a sexist when it comes to roles based on gender? When you go to the soapi massage place in Asoke, do you want Somchai the gay masseuse rubbing your ass with oil, or Noi the 25 year old hot and toned beauty? So tells me, why is this wrong? Let us look at this from the womens point of view. If there house is burning down, do they want 48kg Noi coming to there rescue to carry them from the building, or 80kg Anult the kickboxer?

Who started all this talk about this sexist crap? Blackest Bart thinks it was female dykes. In Thailand we call them “Tom’s”, but for some reasons I like Tom’s a lot better than I like dykes from Canada. Christ on a waterboard, Thailand even makes the female butch ladies better than in the west. Any ways, these dyke ladies said they do not like the way mens look at them. I can not blame there here. Mens and real womens alike look at dykes with disgust and revulsion. So now the dykes claim they are speaking for all womens and not just themselves. Ok, let us talk about this and we will use real mens as examples:

One day your Blackest Bart, Aha Wendigo, Korski, and Billy Bob Toolarge were standing outside a 7-11 on Sukhumvit Soi 4 drinking many beers and watching the womens walk by. As you all no, their are many womens walking by on Soi 4, and it should come as no surprise to any heterosexually mens that all four of us were checking them out in detail and stretching our neck muscles at the same time. Korski the smartest of the bunch (I know this because he is always telling us) says “Mens, what is in your mind during the first 30 seconds you first see a womens?” All four of us burst out laughing at this metawhorical question and we laughs hard AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

Why is the question metawhorical ask the wedgie mens? Ok, this will probably sound sexist but here it goes: Only a womens (or a wedgie mens) would ask why that question is metawhorical. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mens knows the answer as well as we know how much each barfine is in every bar in the Cowboy. Ok, I will say out loud the answer to thie metawhorical question in case there is any wedgie mens who asspire to be more than wedgie mens some day:

We see a womens for the first time. This could be a womens in the walk o’shame lineup, a womens doctor who walks in the exams room to check you for hernias, your sisters friend from school, or your womens dear old mammy, it does not matter. ANY WOMENS. You ask yourself the basic three questions. 1. Would I do her? 2. When would I do her? 3. Where would I do her? Of course you only proceed to questions 2&3 if you answer YES to question one. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So mens, you tell me, is that sexist behavior? I certainly hope so! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It is not easy being me sometimes. But what is wrong with it? Is it wrong to look at a womens and ask yourself if you would fuck her or not? Is it wrong to look at a womens you have decided you would fuck and ask yourself when you want to fuck her? Is it wrong to look at a womens you decided you would fuck right now and ask yourself the appropriate place to do the fucking? IF this is wrong I do not want to be right!!!

These are 100% natural thoughts. Mens thoughts. I will go so far as to say womens appreciate these thoughts because they like knowing where we are standing (Blackest Bart, Aha, Korksi, and Mr. Toolarge) concerning there chances of getting lucky with either one (or possibly all four) of us. And guess what mens? Do you not thinks that womens do the same things? Of course they do! Womens look at mens for the first time and ask themselves nearly the same metawhorical questions. 1. Would I let him do me? 2. When will he want to do me? 3. Where will he want to do me? These are very important questions real womens need answers too, so they look at mens for the first times and think these thoughts.

Another true story, I crap you not! Korski is the King of Cougars! Korski has the highest average out of all four of us when it comes to Cougar hunting. WTF? You do not no what a Cougar is? You are asking what Korski is doing with the endangered species, Felis Concolor? (Korski told me the Roman names, I told you he is the smart ones!) NO NO NO! We are not talking about the endangered species type of Cougar. There is absolutely no danger this type of Cougar will ever be anything less than available any where in the entire world. We are talking about over 50+ womens out on the prowl for mens flesh! I craps you not, their are more Cougars prowling around out their than even Korski can handle. Ok, time out for some terminology ok? I will rate them from the youngest to the oldest.

25 hot and toned beauty (Blackest Barts choice)

MILF’s (Mothers I’d (not really me, but you get the picture eh?) like to fuck.)

Cougars (see above)

GILF’s (Grandma’s I’d (not me at all, more the Galt’s type) like to fuck.)

Cougars come in all shapes and sizes, but the Cougars you will see out running wild on the streets are usually the same. They takes good care of themselves, dress up much younger than womens there ages who are not on the prowl, most have more plastique surgery than Michael Jackson complete with big titty’s, butt tucks, sucked legs and tummy’s, and almost all of them have rebuilt vaginas. Joke time. How does a womens rebuild her vagina? She gets a few new coats of gold paint sprayed on! AHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA! I cracks myself sometimes. Really mens, some of these Cougars are nots so bad. They might not be 25 year old hot and toned beauties, but some of them can certainly be 50+ year old warm and refurbished hotties! And Korski becomes their boy toy much more often than the rest of us.

Another true story. All four of us are standing there on Soi 4 drinking beers again outside the 7-11. Blackest Bart, Aha Wendigo, Korski, and Billy Bob Toolarge, we are all being sexists mens (the good type) and asking ourselves the big three questions about all womens who pass our way. The only real difference is that Korski has his slide ruler out and is taking notes, the man takes his research seriously! And coming towards us is an old noodle cart. At this point we can not see who is pushing the old noodle cart, but soons we can and there is a old grandma type with bare feets all black from the soi, old noodles stuck between her toes, and she is wearing some old wrap around her waste and some shirt thingy without buttons and you can see that her tittys are swinging around like that childerns toy.. what did they call it. It had two strings and at the end of the strings where two plastic balls and if you swung them right they’d knock together really fast and make a knocking noise. Do you no what I mean? This is were the term “knockers” originated way back in time.

Anyway, she stops right in front of us, pulls out a plastic stool ands sits on it with her legs spread, and pulls up the old wrap revealing the oldest vagina you’ve ever seen. The lips of this vagina are falling over the edge of the plastic stool and almost reach the ground. She is displaying this old broken down vagina for all to see as she reaches up for a sign and flips it around and now we can see she wants to sell her old vagina for 5 baht. We are all four laughing, who in there right minds would do that nasty old vagina for free, much less pay 5 baht? She then pulls her lips apart revealing a really huge vagina wart and the smell almost nocks us over! As soon as she does we here a “pardon me, excuse me, let me through please, The Galt has business to conduct!” And then this younger version of Korski shoves his way through the crowd and kneels down and talks to this old lady. He dips his finger into her vagina and puts it on the big wart (I craps you not!) and pulls it out smelling his finger carefully!!! We all are having weak stomachs at this point. The Galt turns to us and says “I have work to do, and besides, I enjoy a good bargain” and turning away from us he helps the noodle lady to her feet and helps her push her noodle cart down Soi 4 until we can not see them any more. I guess even The Great Galt is sexist too eh?

Ok, no more true stories I promise. All I want to do is make clear my points.

1. Sexism is great and appreciated by real womens.

2. All real mens are sexist.

I have explanated why and now all mens can relax and sleep well tonight noing they are good mens. If any of you wedgie mens out there are feeling offended, and feel like writing your elected representative, or calling your mommy, or think your Blackest Bart is out of line.. then I have some thing to tell to you. THIS IS THE REASON YOU NEVER GET LAYED!!! You are to dam busy worry about what dykes think of you, thans about what womens think of you. You are a hopeless wedgie mens. Hellz, even the Great Galt with his 5 baht old smelly vagina wart noodle lady whorse is more of a mens than you wedgie mens will ever be. I must go now, 25 year old hot and toned beauty just walked by and the answers are HELL YES/NOW/ANYWHERE SHE WANTS!!!

Stickman's thoughts:

No comments as I am out all day today….sorry!