Readers' Submissions

PHIT 17 – Great things you can do with your cock

  • Written by Anonymous
  • October 18th, 2008
  • 8 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok



HaHaHaHaAha! I knew that title would get you hear to learn from the master.

Me I grew up in a rural community on a small island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and that is where I learned all about cocks. We has some of the best cocks in the world we do in Samoa. Some are tall and strong. Some are short but still very strong. But our best cocks are the Spitting Cocks. These babies really know how to get in there and do the business. When they start crowing and spitting them there hens loves it too much! Oh yeah!!!! Let me explaining.

Not all cocks is the same. There is the hooded cocks. We keep the hoods on them in Samoa because these cocks is so aggressive they like to do mischief at the slightest drop of a feather. The hoods they keeping them cocks in the dark so they cannot doing any real damage until they are brought out for action.

Then there be them bald headed cocks. These are just as mean as a hooded cock but they bang and rub there heads on everythings and end up sticking there heads in all the wrong places. So we only using them bald headed cocks for funs, sort of like rodeo clowns, eh?

Tall cocks is good because they is long and strong and mean as a wahini with sand in her pants. They can see easy because they is so tall. When they get into the arena they is almost always a winner. If you get them in the hen house you better be watching out. They be chasing them wahini chicks all over the place. When they catching them there be fun in the ol’ hen house all night long. You can hear them ladies crowing and clucking and crying out Samoa! Samoa! Them tall cocks bear down on them ladies and give them a right good time.

Even a short stumpy cock can be good for something sometimes. Why Aha he has heard that some guy up in Nakohn Phanom has the shortest and stumpiest cock in the kingdom but he still manages to get some use out of it. What a wonderful world this be eh?

Now occasionally one of them cute little hens pops out a egg that hatches a strutting spitting cock chick that grows up to be a real champion. This spitting cock is one that spits harder and farther than any other cock around. That’s the kinda cock me Aha and Baht we have in our farmyards. Oh yeah!!!! We keeps our cocks well looked after. We like to keep them in warm moist semi dark places because that be when our cocks be the happiest, yes siree! Every now and again we brings them out into the sunshine because they do like to breaths some fresh air now and again, but on the hole they generally prefer that safe warm dark place we gives them.

Here in Thailand there be a lot of good cocks. Why the Thais they even put there cocks to fighting and that surely is a sight to see. They form a circle and the mens they crowd around betting on their favorite cocks. The action gets very hot among the spectators sometimes especially when one cock beats the other so fast that the fight is almost over before it starts. It has not been unheard of for serious fights to break out among the spectators with guns and knives cutting off and cutting down cocks all over the place.

Then there are cock handlers. These are peculiar guys that stroke there cocks fondly fondling them while whispering to them about the wonderful deeds their cocks are going to perform. How sad it must be fore them to see their cocks droop after the first blow and just go completely limp and then to be bested by the bestest cock around. Then the cock handlers get so angry they bite the heads off their own cocks. Not a good idea when the cock flue is around. It has even killed a few of them. I guess that will teach he not to be so cocky eh?

So what can you do with your own cock?

We all know that a happy cock performs well so make sure you keep your cock very very happy. Put him where he will feel snug and secure. Give him plenty of exercise. Cocks like to stretch out and get the blood flowing. But do not overexercise him eh? That can lead to exhausted cock and what uses is he to anyone then eh?

Keep you cock in a safe clean comfortable place. Don’t let it get too smelly or your cock will be abhorrent to others. Keep it clean and your cock he will be happy and work well for many years.

Should you keep your cock hooded?

This is a vexatious question. Some say you should keep him hooded because it is better and much easier to keep your cock warm and ready for action. Others say that an unhooded cock is more aware and able to perform better. Me I think a hooded cock is better. Why chop off what was put there by nature eh? However, this be a decision not often given to us eh? When we get our cocks born they is taken care of right from the very start so you should just accept him as he is.

Ultimately what you do with your cock is your own business. If you makes good use of him and puts him among many hens he will do what comes naturally. Me I have been putting mine to very good use, and so has my good buddy Bart. Take care of your cocks and they will be invaluable help when you go Pussy Hunting!

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One reader, Matt (as if that is his real name!), he has reacted to Aha's depictation of Arabic men as ignorant brutes, calling Aha bigoted and racist. Oh really?

Hey Stick,

I just finished reading the above submission (PHIT #15) by Aha Wendigo. I understand you don't like to censor, but I think you need to add a comment on this one. Someone needs to call this kind of racist, bigoted trash for what it is.

So Matt, please to tell me why is calling the way the Saudis treat their womans racist and bigoted? And why is it you are the only one who couldn’t read and understand what I wrote yet you decided to call Aha names instead of addressing the real issues here. You weren’t egged on by your higgerant Papa were you?

Frankly, it's time people started to call those selfish, misogynistic Saudi beasts on their disgraceful behavior. According to them Arabic women are mere chattels to be treated as a separate dirty race by their 'superior' men. Please to tell me Aha why people get so upset when he tells the truth? Call me a bigot and a racist if you are wishing, but know this. You are not looking at the root cause of the problem Matt.

Would you let your daughter undergo the brutal, painful circumcision process Arab mens subject their baby girls to? Would you make your wife sits in a different room whyle you eat at a restaurant? Would you banning your wife and daughters from driving a car beccause thay are mere womens? Would you beat your wife and daughters whenever you feel like it? Would you stone her to death if she was raped? Would you kill your daughter to assuage your honor because she falls in love with someone you don't approve of? Would you marry your daughter off at age 6 or 7 to some fat old cocksucker who then despoils her at will?

These, and many more reasons are why thinking people the world over abhor the Arab mens, and particularly the Saudi mens, attitudes to womens. Go take your stupid accusations Matt, and live in Saudi Arabia. You are obviously as demented as they are!

Unfortunately, the madness continues in that degenerate kingdom. Amnesty International reported this week that Saudi Arabia leads the world in executions, particularly of foreigners.

"Saudi Arabia is also one of the few remaining countries to execute people for crimes they committed while under the age of 18.” Said AmInt in a report published by the BBC.

Although the Kingdom refuses to provide official statistics on how many people it kills each year, Amnesty International has recorded at least 1,695 executions between 1985 and May 2008. Of these, 830 were foreign nationals – a highly disproportionate figure since foreigners only make up about a quarter of the country's population.

According to the report, the trials are often held secretly, foreigners would be unable to understand the proceedings because routinely they are denied access to a lawyer and, in some cases, they have no idea they have even been convicted.

Six Somalis beheaded this year were only told they were to be killed on the morning of their execution.

Confessions are usually extracted through torture, ranging from cigarette burns, to electric shocks, nail-pulling, beatings and threats to family members, Amnesty says.

It adds that, while pardons are sometimes granted, Saudi nationals are eight times more likely to escape execution through the payment of a diya or "blood money".”

So, these are the kind of people “Matt” defends. Me I hope he goes to live there and experience there wonderful hospitality. But do not losing your head over it Matt. HaHaHaHaAha!

Stickman's thoughts:

Methinks Aha doesn't like Saudi…