Readers' Submissions

PHIT 16 – The Void and the Postal Box Ladies

  • Written by Anonymous
  • October 11th, 2008
  • 8 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok



Hey there Stickies! HaHaHaHaAha!! Some peoples like Tdunda says they don’t believe what me and Bart we are telling you about ourselves. Let me Aha tell you that that some of the stories on Stickman are far more unbelievable than anything me and my good buddy could ever come up with. Take for example Tdunda. He was doing real good in his submission “You’re the problem, not the girls” until he started to tell us how he gets sex for free. Me I laughed so hard when he told us that he paid the girl’s bar fine and gave her 4,000 Baht for two nights but he didn’t want sex. No siree! He wanted to have a ‘date’ with a bar girl!!!! On the second night the whore she knew what she wanted to do. She leded him to a hotel and paid for it herself. She obviously thought to herself the hell with this stupid farung and his ‘pure date’. She wanted some good steamy sex so she took it! But because she paid for the hotel and he didn’t give her any money after the sex he thinks he didn’t pay for sex. HaHaHaHaAha!!

Huh?

Is he delusional? Me I am thinking so. But he is no more delusional than the guys of all ages who come here looking for the perfect wife. Aha has met these guys time and time again. They all share one thing in common. They be living in their own little delusion bubble. They do nots understand Thailand and they sure as hell don’t understanding Thai womens.

Take one little guy Aha hears about a while back. This guy he be a lawyer. Him he came over here looking to fill the void in his heart. You would think he has some brains eh? You don’t gets to be a lawyer without a lot of hard work and some intelligence. Yeah that is what you be thinking eh? Not this guy. Maybe it was because he was so damn short and you know what Harry Chapin sang about those guys eh? He was so far up his own anal orifice he would go to Soi Cowboy and sit outside leering at the girls while he nursed a Sprite. He was too scared to venture inside the bars. He had no idea what went on in there. No. He made the excuse he didn’t want to sully his pure self. He was looking for a pure woman to marry. So he went looking for a wife in department stores or in upmarket hotel lobbies or among the university students he taught and so on.

Now I be hearing you saying that this is exactly what Bart and Aha has been telling you to do. It sure is. Only we also told you to use your brains and make sure about what you be getting into. This guy he did not do that. He was charmed by a beautiful girl he met in a department store, or maybe it was Soi 33, who spoke good English. He fell madly in loooooove, he proposed marriage and they agreed that he would go back to his home country and work for a year so he could take her back there later. This girl though she be much smarter than him. She wants to get out of Thailand plenty quick so you know what happened next eh? Sure. She got pregnant right smart and next thing he knows he has to take her home with him. HaHaHaHaAha!! She drops the kid and of course the sex dries up. So to compensate he takes on work at his company and he becomes an international businessman. Me I call him a sucker. The girl she got what she wanted. She stays at the expensive home he is paying off for the next 20 years. She gets to stay there and look after her kid. So what does he get? A lifetime of hard work and very little sex. Now that the kid has come along his wife she has lost that beautiful slim figure he loves so much when they first meet. So he be stuck back there in his homeland dreaming about the opportunities he lost when he leave Thailand. HaHaHaHaAha!! When he gets tired and bored of it one day he will divorce her. She will take him to the cleaners and find herself a nice young well toned guy she can screw to her heart’s content. Then this not so smart lawyer he will be washed up on Pattaya Beach just like all the other suckers who chased a dream to fill the void.

So much for filling the void. Be careful what you wish for. You could get it.

Aha he don’t care about guys like them because they live in a delusion bubble and they are too dumb to realize it. No. The people Aha cares about is all the wonderful women in this world. The ones who are bright attractive intelligent and love they sex. My friends let me tell you there be plenty of sexy women around too. Whoooooeeeee!

Unfortunately it is not all wonderful for womens in the world. Take them poor Arab womens for example. You know. The ones who have to go around dressed in that awful chador – a shapeless sack designed (if you can call it that) to hide every beautiful features they has. All that you see is a black sack moving around. It must be real funny when they takes a family picture eh?

“Hey Ahmad, which one is your wife?”

“That’s her in the center sitting down with our son on her knee.”

“Oh.”

Me I call them poor womens Postal Box Ladies. Do not you just want to go up to they and pop a letter through the eye slit eh?

Why do these Arab mens hide their beautiful womens like that? Believe Aha when me I tell you some Arab womens are really really beautiful. Oh yeah. Aha he has been there and done that and got away with it too. You just have to know how to do it. It ain’t easy friends. But it be worth the trouble. Them womens they are so frustrated they would hump a good looking dog if they could!

My friends Arab mens wrap up their womens because they is not REAL MENS. No siree! They are so afraid another mans might see their beautiful womans and steal her! HaHaHaHaAha!! They make all kinda excuses but that is the real reason they are not brave enough to show their womens in public.

These cowardly Arab mens who beat up they womens any time they like they be telling us they cover up they womens because to look on even one piece of her skin make the mens so excited and sexy. Something like when we look at porn me I am guessing. So in other words they Arab mens are telling us they womens is one big pussy, eh?

In Saudi Arabia they has taken it to ridiculous extremes. They do not even want womens with them except for sex! Yes, it be true! Womens cannot eat with men. No they have to eat in another room even when the go out to KFC! They even force foreigners to do this. Your wife must dress up in the black bag too!!! If you are invited to visit an Arab home your woman she will be taken to another room where all the womens can gossip without they veils on while the men they sit in another room. What the mens going to look at while they eating eh? Maybe the intricate tiling on the walls? Or maybe that cute male servant? Ooooh! Maybe the serving boys they have nice theyes eh?

Even when Arabs go to the mosque to pray to their silly Allah they put the womens in another room! Do they really think their god is gonna be offended if mens and womens worship him together? Their excuse is that if a man is bending over behind a shapely woman’s ass he will forget to worship Allah! HaHaHaHaAha!! Maybe they is right there though for Aha. Me I be sniffing for my piece of heaven for sure. For Aha though being stuck in a mosque bending over smelling some other man’s ass while praying would be putting me off any god forever! Yesireee!

We Samoans we had it right before them damned missionaries came along and screwed up our forefathers with tales of a big scarey god no one has ever seen. Before that we Samoans would dance sexy dances with our beautiful maidens and have a damn good time on the beach. The only thing we had to worry about was getting sand in where it wasn’t none to comfortable.

One good thing you can say about the Thais. They have rejected the damn missionaries for over 400 years. During all that time less than 1% of the Thai population has become Christians. What a dismal record eh? As a result, the girls here they do not have any sexual hang-ups. There is no ‘sin’ in fornicating. To them it is just damn good fun. Me and Bart we heartily agree. Me I wish them dam missionaries had never come to my homeland Samoa. They didn’t even realize why we called it Samoa back then, eh? But you and me we know. It was because the womens they was always running around with they grass skirts held up yelling out “Samoa! Samoa! I want Samoa!”

Stickman's thoughts:

No comments as I am out all day today….sorry!