Readers' Submissions

My Kind Of Woman




Group sex with Eskimos repeatedly. Lived in a predominantly black brothel and had sex with most of the occupants of the house and a relationship with three of them. Lived and went to war with a number of Vietnamese, Thai, Korean and Chinese women and had numerous relationships. This all occurred before my 23 birthday. The women ranged in age from 18 to 50 something. There were also a few Jewish and Middle Eastern and African women but not a significant number. The one offs included a Russian Ballet dancer, a Greek furriers daughter some others but I won’t bore you with the details because they are not statistically significant.

If you want to know what I looked like you can go back and read all of my previous submissions as I put a picture of the young Chiang Mai Kelly in one of them or I was also in the movie Thunderball and if you watch the casino scene twenty or thirty times like I did you can see me in it. I mention this because back then I was a good looking young whippersnapper. Unfortunately some things disappear with age. I wish I could have aged like Paul Newman or Sean Connery but I didn’t. My tastes have also changed. I don’t like young thin women anymore. I don’t know why. I am sure five years with a shrink would give me some insight but other than a hour on Thursdays (that is my young thin woman day) I don’t much mess with them. I also now like sex more in the daytime than at night. I always did like sex in the daytime but now even more so. And there a number of reasons for that. Women who want to screw in the daylight really want to screw. At night some other factors such as drink or fear of ending up alone or all sorts of other factors come into play. In the case of a professional sex worker mostly they are fresher in the daytime and you can’t turn the lights off so you can see what you are doing. Plus I don’t like sex after I eat a big dinner and I like to eat big dinners. Since I stopped drinking beer weight is not an issue so I eat more than I used to. Sex after a big dinner is not as good as on an empty stomach. Both from a comfort and reliability standpoint. I guess if the blood is not working digesting your food more is available to work on your sex organ.

I don’t really relate to numbers like one through ten but if I had to pick out a current favorite I would say women 21 or 22 who go to a certain college with gray uniforms and are a little chubby. These schools are all over Thailand. And everyone seems to know about their reputation. I found out about it when a lady teacher friend of mine warned me about steering clear of the students from that school because they were so aggressive. Of course I camped out across from the campus until I found out the songtaew schedule and ever since then have been having a field day on that particular baht bus of love. It is a college so they are all of legal age in case you were worrying about my moral health. I like them a little on the chubby side because they think they are ugly and most Thais reaffirm that and because of their build can take a bit of a pounding without being sore the next day. I have always worried about skinny women getting bruised and you never find a fat yaba freak. Drugs keep many women skinny here and I don’t want to mess with that. Except of course on Thursdays. Skinny stunner Thursday has netted me 20% whacked out yaba and / or ice whores. 20% Thursdays only works out to 10 a year so I can handle that. Korski said in a recent submission, “Like all men, I would want a woman around me who is kind and considerate and can see beyond her own nose, to the concerns and needs and others.”

I have to tell you Mr. Korski, sir, I don’t want a woman around me who is kind and considerate and can see beyond her own nose. Those women are mostly carved in marble and line places of worship where various faiths refer to them by different names. Virgin Mary and Saint this and that. I keep a few statues next to the clock in the living room but that’s as close as I get. I like women who are alive and real women. Anyone who is not in their first reincarnation has realized women are only kind and considerate to their children and only a few under 90 are kind and considerate to them.

I really don’t need an educated woman. No amount of education is going to erase the genetic tendencies anyway.

At 19 I had a lady with a PhD tell me to shut up and screw. Further, she said she would cease to climb in the window of my fraternity house at night if I kept trying to talk to her.

Later after I was educated and hung out with educated women I discovered things hadn’t changed much from when I was 19. Especially if I mentioned any ideas that were politically incorrect like suffrage causing most of the problems of the modern world.

All in all I prefer bright women over educated women. Bright self made business women being my favorite. But I don’t really care that much. I really have a great education. I studied with people who are legends. I had an opportunity to talk to them and discuss things. I read their books before and after I met them. I remain intellectually curious. But the last thing I want is intellectual discussion with a women I am screwing. You can’t talk reasonably to a sex partner. There is too much sexual give and take to maximize the relationship. I am not going to muck up an night of bliss because she happens to not know the definition of half the words she uses. I tried that.

I know the best blow job in Thailand. I see her at least once a week. She is not young. She is not pretty. She is not slim. She is not educated. Why is she the best blow job in Thailand? Because she makes sure I have a beautiful young slim lady for me to look at sitting naked on the bar and another on my arm to fondle while she takes care of business. In addition to that we stop when I ask her to stop. Not before. After we stop her two assistants stand there to assist me with chilled freshly washed cloths and a cold soda while she is gargling Listerine before kissing me goodbye. Of course it costs less than 10 minutes at Lolita’s. What do you think, I am a sucker who just got of the plane?

I understand women. I let my mother-in-law live with us when her husband died. Her remaining years were happy. Her husband was a drunk when alive. The kids loved her and she was my constant supporter in any arguments with my wife. I let my own mother live with me and it was one of the causes of my last divorce. I spent $250,000 for her care until I had to put her in a nursing home because we could not handle her increasing medical needs. I also took care of a couple of kids that were problems for my wife’s sister. They turned out OK given the change in school systems and their removal from a bad crowd. I doubt I would do the same thing in Thailand given what I have seen but I can understand their point of view. I sleep OK at night.

I don’t need much privacy. I rarely close the door to the toilet. Princess always wanted to talk when I was there and she would just come in and start talking. So I gave up keeping it closed. In my three marriages it seems to me that we were able to live with open bathroom doors after about three years.

Yesterday I wanted to wash my hands after playing with a woman who had been sitting in front of me at a local bar.

The momma san noticed me sitting there looking at my hands and realized the problem. She opened the bathroom door even though there was a bargirl on the toilet urinating and started running the water for me so I could wash my hands. I watched the girl pee while I washed my hands and tipped her 20 baht as I left. I live in Thailand.

I have been married three times. I love them all. They are all wonderful people; kind, generous, loving, successful and on and on. I did not divorce any of my wives they divorced me. However, I don’t expect women to be truthful. I don’t think it is in their nature. There are only good actresses and great actresses.

Based on all the valuable information I have gained from reading this site, (None personally, because all of the guys I know who married good girls either are unhappy or still whoring around. Funny how things are different in print than real life.) I have been trying the good girl thing. Tonight I was out with a well to do young woman (I would tell you she was a light skinned Chinese / Thai woman but that would make me a racist so I won’t mention it). I was helping her research her new boss. She has recently accepted a job paying 150,000 baht per month. She is 30, speaks almost perfect English owns her own business and is still going to school part time for her PhD. When I walked in she said, “you’ve been smoking” and gave me a couple of breath mints. I helped her with her research and went to the bathroom and called a chubby whore a few blocks away and reserved her for the night. I made my apologies to the good girl and left. I walked into the bar and the chubby whore ran up to me telling me how much she missed me and shoved her hand down my trousers and grabbed my penis like an motorcycle handlebar going around a fast curve.

Stickman's thoughts:

Ah, the Chiang Mai Kelly of old is back :)