Readers' Submissions

My First Time, My New Life

  • Written by Barsie
  • October 7th, 2008
  • 6 min read



First off, this is my first contribution so apologies for poor writing skills.

I'd like to thank Stickman and the community for educating me before I took my first trip to the LOS. A little bit of background about myself as I think I'm slightly different to the normal poster here. I'm 26 and don't have a major issue with women from UK but I have no desire to enter another long term relationship in the UK after having one for 6 years. To be honest, I loved the girl but it didn't work out and she cost me a fortune. However, in all my last 10 years of sexual activity I've been happy. I never went to LOS for anything but to see it as a career gap.

I travelled into Thailand overland from Malaysia. We all joked about who would crack first to go with a bargirl. It was me by a country mile! But in unusual circumstances I was hammered out of my mind and so was she. I met her in a bar (of course) then went back to hers. When we woke up we were both confused and we'd kicked her room mate out to have sex which caused a bit of morning awkwardness. But that day in general need for some reality we went out for lunch. I loved her company and well knowing the score decided to use my learned knowledge to ask for her to stay with me long time.

We proceeded to have the best week ever, in which I spent my time with real Thai people. We'd go out with her friends (and I suspect) some of her family. I was partying like a bit of a playboy but loving it all the same. The cost of my week partying hard, paying for everything and everyone was $1,500 which is what I'd spend in Europe in a week on average holiday. The thing was I didn't give her money directly at all. I willingly paid for things which was awesome. Well basically I had a whole set of bar girls partying all the time with me and my girl for a week. I always pay for a girl in England – why wouldn't I in Thailand! We had great time and then I left her to visit another few islands – where I had a few other experiences (I'll save that for another entry).

I arranged for her to come and spend the last 4 days in Bangkok with me before I flew home – which was excellent again. I truly enjoy having a Thai girl on my arm and previously I may have felt a bit weird about a bar girl. Now it's my love and my passion. I have spoken to her every single day for over a month now and can't wait to fly back. There was only time in 2 weeks with her that I got angry at her. Only thing I doubted about was her honesty or stupidity. I hope it's stupidity or a sense of community. But she got conned outside a temple – let a bird out of cage for 30 baht. I said straight away don't pay someone to release a trapped bird – they trapped it! But she paid with her own money, so none of my business what she wastes it on so long as it's not yaba. Well, girl releases bird and another 10 or so fly out of the cage with it. Obviously this is the scam – it's 30 baht a bird and my girl hasn't got the 300 baht to pay and asks me for it. I piss myself laughing and walk off shaking my head. It cost me nothing but I was annoyed for the first time in Thailand because she was stupid enough to fall for a scam herself. Now you may think I'm being naive there and she's playing a great scam on me. However she at this point knows the score and 300 baht isn't a problem so out of my pocket I just give her the cash as and when we need to buy anything, so her cut is good already. It was more amusing than anything, only I could get the worst tour guide ever, a Thai girl who doesn't haggle / know the local area / is a bit shy on the pushing to get what I want.

The thing is I've told her I have no money, told her I'll not marry her, told her I am khee mao and been straight from start. I told her and all her friends I'm a stupid farang – but I never did stupid things (I gave money when I wanted to and said no when I didn't want to). They actually loved me for my 100% honest approach. In return I got true affection and honesty back – it's fun partying with Thais when they tell you the scams etc.

My heart is now in Thailand. The way they live there is awesome. Life's not about a 9 – 5 and they enjoy their work. The bargirls I met wanted nothing more than a good time and I loved going to my local bar (where I never had sex with any of the girls) and just walking in saying Chang for me and a bottle of Sang Som for the girls. They loved it and they loved my pure party attitude.

I read so many things before I went to Thailand that were negative. I truly thought it would be a bit of a nightmare especially Bangkok. I would be robbed, scammed, forced to sleep in crap rooms etc. This is from what I saw – and I'm on a budget – total rubbish. I never once got ripped off. I'd spent plenty of time drunk with bargirls giving them chance to steal from me – they didn't. I was told Bangkok is a polluted, rat-infested city. No, not really at all. I was told Khao San Road is crazy backpacker haven – you'll never see anything like it. Well it was timid. Check out Kuala Lumpur's Chinatown instead.

The thing for me with Thailand I believe is that you get what you are seeking. There are so many destinations with so many different vibes. When I was in Koh Phi Phi I had no interaction with real Thais. They aren't really there, and it's not a true Thai experience. Koh Phangnan I was in you have a total mix – go along the coast from Had Rin you go from the bored commercial Thais to the further north you get the better gogo bars that want your company as it's less touristy.

All in all I'm 26 – just dream of moving there forever – but I'll not make mistake of doing it till I'm ready and I can afford to live with a safety net there. I have a 9 year plan now to retire. I nearly did retire on my first trip – I struggled not to phone home to sell my houses and stay out. Logic must prevail – problem with the LOS is that you do take on a Thai way of life – and logic isn't always your first answer.

Stickman's thoughts:

Retiring at 35 would be nice. Ooops, too late, 35 has passed!