The Pitfalls of Internet Dating

The year was 2004 and I had subscribed to TLL for 6 months. TLL was very small then and had very few ladies over the age of 40, however I did find 2 ladies I liked.

My first choice was Linda, 44 years old, a registered nurse who worked at Bangkok's finest hospital. She was very attractive, slender and tall for a Thai lady. We exchanged emails for 6 months and everything seemed just wonderful.

My second choice was Kan, a 43 year old, attractive school teacher from Udon Thani. We exchanged mail about twice a week.

After 6 months of emails I decided to go to Thailand and meet this beautiful nurse. We decided to meet at the Landmark hotel for dinner on my first evening in town. Of course I was in the restaurant early and most excited, waiting to
meet this beautiful lady who by her emails seemed like the perfect match. Right at the agreed time of 7:00 PM a short, average-looking lady entered the restaurant and smiled as she walked past my table. She then turned around and asked if
my name was Brutus. I told her yes it was. She then sat down and introduced herself as Linda the nurse.

I told her your name may be Linda but you are certainly not the Linda I am supposed to meet and since I don't have a clue who you are I am not taking you to dinner.

This imposter was too young, not tall enough, not attractive, wrong length and color of hair, round face instead of oval. When I asked to see her ID card, with almost a smile on her face she said you are a very smart man and that she
had already met 5 farangs who did not seem to know she was not the real Linda the nurse.

I then asked her where the real Linda was! Her reply was oh Linda has been married for over a year now and lives in Australia and that she was Linda's cousin. I told her what she was doing was really wrong and that she was a fraud
and an imposter and that I intended to report her to TLL. She then got up and left. After having dinner alone I stopped at a internet shop and reported her to TLL and the next day Linda the nurse's profile was gone.

Udon Thani School Teacher, My #2 Choice

I never got discouraged from the experience of my first date. I thought what the hell, I have travelled half way around the world to meet TLL ladies. So I decided I might as
well go to Udon Thani to meet the school teacher and see if we were compatible.

I got myself a room at the Udon Hotel and made arrangements to meet the teacher at a very nice restaurant / bakery close by.

Right on time, 7.00 Pm, she pulled up in front of the restaurant in a very nice car. We introduced ourselves and had barely sat down when her cell phone rang. She talked and talked and even ordered food from the menu while still talking.
I was thinking this date is off to a very bad start.

After 3 more calls her cell phone went dead. I thought that is very good, maybe now we can talk and get to know one another, but that was not to be. It seems the young lady waitress was a former student of hers, so she calls her over
and gives her money to go buy her a new SIM card. As soon as she gets her phone back she is talking again. During our dinner she makes 4 calls and receives 5 calls for a total of 9 calls.

Cell phones have made people very rude. <I am with you. Mobile phones are the bane of the modern world in my opinion and mine is off 90% of the time – Stick> I try never to show anger. I just get very quiet
but I am thinking I have travelled half way around the world just to listen to a lady talk on her cell phone in a foreign language. That's enough to piss anyone off. Talk about real bad manners!

When I had finished eating dinner I get up and went to the rest room (hawng nam) and that's when I noticed a exit that led to the side street (soi). I thought about just walking away but I could not do that since I had not paid
the bill (chek bin).

When I sat down at the table again she said she was also finished eating even though she still had at least 4 plates of food she had never touched. Enough food to feed a large Thai family. I hate to see good food being wasted. I grew up in Europe during
the war and when our family was finished eating there was never even enough scraps left over to even feed the dog.

Anyway she drove me the 2 blocks back to my hotel and started to make plans for the following day. I told her as politely as I could that my plan was to catch the first flight back to Bangkok in the morning.

We both said sawatdee krup / ka and goodnight, but what I really wanted to say was la gawn (Farewell).

After returning to Bangkok from the date with Udon Thani school teacher I went to the first internet shop I saw and switched off TLL and checked my emails. I had one e mail from a Thai lady who claimed to be an economist and she wanted
to meet me.

Thai Lady Economist TLL, Date # 3

I thought why not, maybe third time lucky. We met at a Thai restaurant of her choosing. It was a fairly nice place but we ended up with a table next to a raised platform for a band.

She was a small lady, fairly attractive looking but with a poor taste for clothes.

As soon as we sat down she gave me her business card that said she was an economist for the electricity authority.
I asked her a few questions about the Thai stock and financial markets but she did not seem to have a clue. Calling
herself an economist was really stretching it too far.

Anyway we were having a normal conversation and enjoying dinner, that is until half way through dinner when I happened to glance under the table and noticed she had a tattoo on the calf of one leg. Then with an angry look on her face
and a raised voice she almost shouts "YOU NOT LIKE TATTOO? AND AT THE SAME TIME PULLING HER BLOUSE TO ONE SIDE TO SHOW ANOTHER ONE ON HER BREAST!"

I told her a lady with tattoos to me just does not look very feminine. Also that tattoos are for prison convicts, seamen and truck drivers.

Just at this moment the band started up with a noise loud enough to damage ear drums. Again she shouts "YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC?"

I told her I love music but that is not music that is NOISE POLLUTION. She looked really angry but I was saved by her ringing cell phone.

She answered the call in English, then without even saying excuse me she stood up and went outside to talk. Twenty minutes later she was still not back. I paid the bill and told the waiter to clear the table. When I went outside I noticed
she was leaning against her car still talking. I gave a feeble wave and a sawatdee krup and just kept walking.