Stickman Readers' Submissions September 20th, 2008

PHIT 13 – Alarming Rise of Sex Addiction, says Korski

Alarming Rise of Sex Addiction, says Korski

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Eh? Sex addiction? Ah crap Stickies! We alls know this is just more pure bullshit from them damn womens libbers again to try and turn men into the the male equivilent of nymphos eh? Look at the recent reports about David Danchovy, the actor guy from the X Files. He turned hisself into a clinic for sex addiction just recently! Do you believe that?

Yeah! Riiiiiiiiight. We alls know what that’s about do not we Stickies? The poor bastard got hisself caught in some cooz where he should not of been and his darling wife put the pressure on him. “Either book into a clinic as a self-confessed sex addict or I am divorcing you and taking everything you owns. And no more pussy for you either you – you – SEX MANIAC!” Ha Ha Ha Aha!!! Wanna bet David will be over here soon one day, eh?

YES! According to womens we is all sex maniacs now. Me I LOVE IT! Pussy and Aha go together like beer and a head. Like cock and bulls. Like – ah you get the picture eh? Now what about poor old David though?. Did you see his face when he was on the way to the clinic? You can bets he’s gonna be balling at least one nurse in there. Cure him of his sex addiction? Ha Ha Ha Aha!!! Me I don’t think so. He’s a REAL MAN.

So now womens are trying to tell us we are sex addicts. They have asked university perfessor Korski to investigate this new “disease” called sex addition and then they gonna make a big fuss about the findings of this spurious survey.

Of COURSE mens from Australia, UK and USA is returning home showing all the evident signs of sex addiction: deep depression, bipolarity and disaffection with their native countries; a consuming and disturbing "leering syndrome" aimed at women between the ages of eighteen and twenty-six; a constant need to talk in the workplace about the sexual prowess of Asian women in the presence of respectable and highly successful glass-ceiling shattering American, British and Australian women; and wild claims about the amount of sex they were getting in Thailand and had come to see as "natural," an almost mystical life force like none heretofore known in their lives, they claimed.

Wouldn’t you? Me and Bart you know we don’t think you guys paying for sex is worth pissing on if you was on fire, but at least you still have balls and you are out there doing what a man is designed to do. But them whores back home sees you going back there with a grin from ear to ear, a sparkle in your eye, and a spring to your step, and they is getting dead jealous. Ha Ha Ha Aha!!! They know they cannot makes you happy like them happy little sex machines in Asia, eh? They know them white womens do that they are big and fat and ugly and bitchy and money grubbing and what all. They ain’t no match for a sexy little Asian gals with a trim body, superbly conditioned by years working in the rice fields. No siree! Them white girls they cain’t compare nohow. So they come up with a new disease and called you SEX ADDICTS you mens who know what good pussy is. Ha Ha Ha Aha!!!

Gives me a break ok? You know what I gonna tell you now don’t you? Ignore them stupid bitches. Let Perfessor Korski make his investigations. He knows where the best pussy is. He getting paid plenty of good money to go out and finds it. He be one smart motherperfessor. And he so smart he ask Bart and Aha to help him too. What a sweet job eh?

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So what did we do when he asked? Of course we told him we gonna help him. Who would say no when they given the chance to go out and watch all you mongers and maybe getting some free pussy too? We not stupid eh?

Korski, he met us at Soi Cowboy to start our investigation. Man he know where to go. At least me I think so before we start. Bart and me we walk into Soi Cowboy and there he be, standing next to this huge dark skinned bitch with a nose hanging down almost to the street. She got three little Thai mans with her and one he is feeding her bananas. Aha do not see so well at night when there is lots of pussy around. So when I gets close to Korski Aha sees that his woman it is not a big fat bitch but a elephant! Oh well. Aha was pretty close eh? Have you seen some of them womens working in Soi Cowboy lately? They is so big, so fat, and so dark they look like elephants anyways, eh?

So Korski he welcome us to Cowboy and say he gonna take us into the sleaziest bars around so we can observe mens with sex addiction. Sounds like a plan to me Bart says. Where you want to go?

Korski he squints up and down the soi and then he points to one bar with a big sign out front saying Toy. Me I am thinking already maybe Korski has lost it. Why is he going to buy toys at that time of night? Maybe he likes real young girls and wants to give them some present? Oh Oh! Aha starts to get worried until Korski drags me inside the shop and we sees lots of older girls and no toys on the shelfs; just lots of good liquor. I tell you mens those girls in Toy bar they are enough to make any mans into a sex addict. We sits at the bar and Korski pulls out his bulging………..wallet.

The girls they comes like bees to honey. They swarm all around him. Old Bart and Aha we are sat there all alonesome at the bar watching the womens crowding Korski begging him to buy drinks. He not so stupid though. He choose three or four good ones and he shoo the rest away. Then we gets down to some serious drinking while we starts conducting our research.

Me I am sitting at the bar after a few drinks watching the other mens in the bar. It’s a very interesting site. Not so much what the mens are doing with the girls, but the look on their faces. Imagine a six year old child running free in a candy store and you get the picture. These mens they are looking so happy you can almost see the worry lines sliding off their faces. Them girls is making them more happy than a human being is allowed.

Bart and me we are sitting there watching all this and Aha begins to feel a bit hot specially when one of the girls flips her skirt up to reveal some beautiful tan skin that you just don’t see out on the street. In fact it was getting so hot me I started to sweating. Beads of sweat was pouring down my forehead so I did what I always did back home. I flipped out my tongue and licked it off. Poor me I was not ready for what happens then. One girl in the dim dark recesses of the bar must have been watching me. She squeals at the top of her cute Esarn voice, “Did you see that? Did you see that? Farung he lick forehead he!”

Next things I know Aha is surrounded by all these beautifuls girls begging me to show them again. Well you know what happened when I did eh? The girls they all drop Korski and they come rushing after Aha. Me I get pulled down off my stool while the girls they are fighting over me. I tell you mens it was a frightening moment or two. There was girls grabbing my arms possessively. Others was tearing at my fly trying to grab hold of the Samoan crown jewels. Lucky me I am a big guy so while they struggling and pushing me I roars out “ENOUGH!”

That stopped the fighting let me tell you. Them girls they shut up the backed away and me I thinking everythings was alright. HA! Not yet let me tell you. They backed up and then every last ones of them pulls up their skirts or drops they panties and they start crying out “Aha give me the tongue, give me the tongue.”

What can a mans do eh? So Aha turned to Korski and Bart and yells RUN!

Me I tell you what Stickies. This sex survey business is not all it is cracked up to be. Me I don’t care how big a mans you are. When you see about twenty pussies all lined up like that and all begging you to stroke their fur and make they purr what you gonna do eh? No mans can do that and live!

So when we get outside the bar me and Bart we grab Korski by the arms and we frog march him up the soi until we are away and safe from them tongue crazy womens. Me I looks at Bart and he nods. Korski, Bart says, you can take your sex addiction survey and you can shove it where the sun don’t shine. If you can still go ahead and do the work for all that lovely money you go ahead. Aha and me we are going back to the real Bangkok where the womens are not so greedy. No more whores for us!

Stickies you keep a lookout for that survey when Korski publishes it. Then draw your own conclusions because for sure me I can tell you no matter what he tries to tell you that survey is for sure based on erroneous erogenous information. No man can do a job like that and remain objective!

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