Readers' Submissions

PHIT 12 – The CUM Party

  • Written by Anonymous
  • September 13th, 2008
  • 11 min read



The CUM Party

Hoooboy! Me I have one hell of a story to tell you this week my friends. Do you remember Bart told you two week ago about the meeting we was organizing to discuss how to stop women's making mans pay for babies they did not make? Yes we did organize that party. We done invited all the guys we knows what like their pussy to discuss how to fight back at the damn feminazies and stop them claiming all men's money. We cann not let the lawyers and them feminazies make mens pay for kidz they have not fathered just becoz they shack up with a bit of pussy for a short time. It no is fair eh? Time for us real mens to fight back.

So anyways the party was set up in a private room at a well know hotel on Sukhumvit Road. All the big guys was there: Longstroke Kelley, Billy Bob Toolarge, Whizzer Nai Harn Cliff, Dana, Brokenmens Repaired, BKSSW, Big Mouth Papa, Doc Holidays, Fantasia, Delightful Hans, Vic Bitters (hic), Paddi (hic hic), ThaiTais (hic hic hic), Pot Hole, Korskies, Dave B, Barry, Marc Hotlz, and that elusive Anonymous. All the misogynists is what them feminazies woulda called us but Bart and me we call us Concerned Ubermans for all Males (CUM).

Oh what a party it was. We was all gathered around the first of the six 18 gallon kegs we had ordered. There was lots of other substances going around too. No one asked and no one told. The party got started and kept on going.

Me and Bart we made sure all the guests at our CUM party was well and truly armed. No sooner did we open the first keg, hand around the first tray of blotting paper and pills, spike the punch with acid than our hand picked troop of womens fell in through the doors. Now this was not your bunch of skanky whores most of you Stickies are used to. Oh no siree! Bart and Billy Bob Toolarge made sure of that. They was the ones in charge of the Pheromone Brigade you see eh? Me I was in charge of organizing the party and refreshments.

Anyways in march all these luscious womens. Some was students at top universities. Along came a bunch of business girls, sexytaries, high powered executive womens, a bunch of Japanese wifes out for fun, half a dozen Samoan girls Aha invited and flew down in my own executive jet, and a bunch of girls from Chiang Mai and even some Chinese athletes what was mostly pole vaulters. That party was soon cooking let me tell you oh yeah!

We turned the lights down real low. An army of hotel staff wheeled in Roman style orgy beds and the CUM boys we was soon reclining in total sybaritic comforts. The womens was getting too hot to wear street clothes. Me I turned the aircon up to a comfortable 75 degrees F. Diabolical eh??

But you know what them feminazis are like. One of them bitches actually read Bart's threat to hold the party and the word went out like a wildfire across the Serengetti. There was emails flying thicker than bats leaving guano. Messengers was dispatched to the far corners of the world seeking the support of feminists of every race and coler. Bitches was standing on high hill tops across whole continents semaphoring the news; The Misogynists are forming to fight us. Come fight CUM. Come Sisters. Unite to fight CUM! Signed UCUM.

Suddenly airlines was booked out by clamoring fems. Roads was thronged with bitches dragging their droopy tits and sagging asses down long dusty roads. Ships was commandeered and sailed across dark and stormy seas. Buses was filled with bitchin bitches bitchin about CUM. Oh yeah! This was war mens. The daggers was drawn. Panties sewn shut. Long hair braided and wrapped around their haids like to stop bullets. No quarter to be shown. Knives honed to frightening sharpness ready to cut off penises. These gals was ready to stick it to us mens once and for all.

Ah but they didn't plan on us CUM guys. Never will you meet a stronger meaner tougher bunch of mongers than CUM. Now do not you fretting. If you are not yet a member Aha will be telling you how to join soon but now me I wants to telling you about what happened when all the UCUM army bitches descended on our hotel in Bangkok. What an appropriate name for the sex and sin capital of the world eh?

Now what them bitches didn't not count on was the strength and resilience of the guys in CUM. We done been there and we done done that. No womans never got the best of a CUM member no siree. We seen all the tricks. We upended more pussy and left it panting in exhaustion than them UCUM womens ever seen. And because we are all so strong and virile we exude such strong pheromones that no womans can resist us. I KID YOU NOT mens! When Bart and Aha walk down the street womens act like in them AXE deoderant commercials. Our MANLINESS wafts into their receptors and they be immediately horny. Me and Bart we are used to it. You could be like us too. Read on to find out how.

Here is our secret mens. This is why no womans can resist Bart and Me. SEX. Lots of sex. Yes, that be right. Not just once a week like you pussy whipped married mens gets if you be lucky. No. me I mean sex at least four or five times a day. Good hot down dirty sex. No shower before. No shower after. Let that CUM juice ferment on you. That is the smell of success my friends. When you womans coming revel in it. Spread it on your body. No womans can resists. They smell that and they gonna come chasing you for sure.

Meanwhile the feminazies were not standing still. Parades of them was marching towards Sukhumvit from the port, from the airport, and from the bus terminals. Traffic was banked up as terrified Bangkokians got out of their cars to stare at these monstrous womens in full battle rage. What do we want? The leaders of the marching crowd chanted. The other marchers screamed back, We want CUM!?

Imagine the bafflement those watching Bangkokians experienced watching this spectacle. There was all those butch looking womens shouting and yelling they wanted CUM. WTF? The watching Thais looked at each other in surprise and started rolling in mirth all over the roads. This only served to enrage the marching harridans and they increased their chanting, shaking buildings on their foundations, rattling windows, and pushing cars out of the way by the sheer decibel force of their yells.

Here was a truly awe inspiring demonstration of pussy power.

So where was all you Stickies Aha asks? Was you cringing in abject fear under the skirts of your favorite whores down at Nana and Cowboy? Too scared to come and help REAL MENS fight off the ravening horde? No matter. In the end we didn't needing you. We was MAN enough to face any screaming horde of frustrated feminazis.

Meanwhile, back at the party the CUM boys was having some real fun let me tell you. Skirts and panties was thrown up on chandeliers and the boys and girls got down to some real serious fun. All that could be hurd was slurping, sucking, and sighing. Oh yeah! All the time the boys was building up a delicious perfume of good strong hard sex. Billy Bob Toolarge put on a bishops miter and swung around the room anointing one and all. Whizzer Cliff was banging away and crying out Oh God! Oh God! I love you! No one was sure who he was talking to but then no one was taking any notice nohow.

There was BKKSW beating his chest after each woman yelling out I'M A MAN! I'M A REAL MAN! It soon became like a constant chant as he went through women like you go through tissues with the flu.

Big Mouth Papa had a lectern brought into the room and he was stood up there screaming out passages from the Karma Sutra and The Story of O and dispensing advises left right and center. Dear old Papa he always like to preaching at us. Then Dana pulled out his mobile phone and dialed a string of numbers. Within five minutes the doors on both sides of the large bangquet hall burst open and troops of Trannies marched in clad in gold lame body hugging leotards and tall six inch heel purple boots that reached up to their armpits. Plumes of feathers designed for nefarious purposes bobbed merrily on their headdresses as they marched proudly through the room. Dana jumped up and down in glee shouting They are mine! Leave them alone. They are all mine! But Doc Holiday, Fantasia and Korskei snapped up a couple of pairs each for themselves and scampered off to the darkest recesses of the room. Dana screamed in frustration but he was soon overpowered by tranny pulchritude and toted off by the dudes. Soon there was screams and laughter all around the room. Who knows what those degenerates was up to but the powerful aroma of trannie sex was soon added to the potent miasma permeating the room.

The party had been in progress for at least six hours by the time the feminazies finally made it to the hotel. Phalanxes of Thai guards stood shoulder to shoulder barring the way, furiously blowing their whistles and gesticulating madly. You no can cow mar! They chanted as the furious horde pushed against them. Oh those wiley women. They knew how to overcome any Thai male. They whipped out their specially prepared silver flasks filled with Lao Khao and handed them around. Soon the first line of defence was breeched. No matter. Bart and Aha we have anticipated this so as the jubilant harpies trampled the guards underfoot and they streamed up the stairs towards the front doors of the hotel the next line of defence stood at bay. Dozens of Tuk-Tuk and taxi drivers stood gleefully holding out long streamers of brochures showing pictures of jewelry stores with big shiny stones, or pictures of every imaginable sex position were thrust into the femail faces. At last the horde was slowed as some womens clung to the men begging them to buy the shiny stones or perform some of the lewd positions these poor love-starved women had never seen before. Our second line troopers battled valiantly. Many a Tuk-Tuk and taxi started rocking and breaking suspensions as the drivers showed the womens who had succumbed to their blandishments why they named the city Bang Kok.

Alas a hard core of shock troop Amazons made it past the second line of defence to the very doors of our party room. Oh yes. It was going to be touch and go. But Bart and Aha we had everything ready for them. We let the crowd outside the room build up until the womens was crowded so hard against the doors we could see them bulging. That's when we gave the waiters a signal. One phalanx was standing by with powerful fans plugged in and ready to go. The other group was huddled at the doors. When they saw Bart raise his hand and give the thumbs up they swung into action. First the Fan guys they switched on to Full Force. Immediately a powerful gale blew CUM pheromones towards the doors just as the second team of waiters lifted the heavy iron bars that had kept the doors locked. Suddenly the doors was pulled back and we hit the feminazis with the full blast of our sexuality. It was no contest. Hit by a blast of full on sex the first rows were knocked to the ground where they lay orgasming heavily. The womens behind them fared little better. The aroma of the orgy hit them and they immediately threw off their clothes and flung themselves into the bangquet hall like a ravening pack of wolves. Our mens was ready and we took them down onto our orgy couches where prodigious feets of sex was performed, reducing the womens to quivering jelly. Me I am proud to tell you we performed like you never seen before. The 300 had nothing on us. The womend poured through the doors and we took them all down and left them screaming for Samoa! Samoa!

Men the world over can rest easy today my friends. The battle of the sexes has been won in Bangkok. Now it is up to you mens in other countries to do the same. Remember that we are the dominant sex. You have to find your balls again and stand up to the lawyers, the judges, and those feminazies and tell them ENOUGH! I AM A REAL MAN. I WILL NOT PAY FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S KIDZ EVER AGAIN!?

You too can join CUM. It's real easy. The first step is to write a submission for Stickman. We CUM members will judge all submissions and any we feel are truly worthy will be invited to join CUM. The second step is to reply to our invitatioin affirming you will stand up like a REAL MAN whenever you find femail oppression and fight for mens rights. That is all. Get writing Stickies. Let us build up this movement so that all men can become CUM.

Stickman's thoughts:

Hmmmm.