Readers' Submissions

Defining A Loser

  • Written by Anonymous
  • September 27th, 2008
  • 10 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


Hello mens. I gets a fare number of requests asking me what a "loser" is. I mean, who does not all ready no? Any guy with halfs a brain has noticed many losers as he walks down the soi. But still you guys asketh me "Blackest Bart, how do you personally define a loser?" Ok, ok alreadies. I will use this submission to gives you a more specific definition. Now, none of you losers out there go and think this is about you! I know many losers who followed the path I am about to tell you the story about.

Firstest, let me answer a question a 25 year old hot and toned beauty asked me the other day. She askesth Blackest Bart "Bart honey, why do some farung men think whorses are so great?" This one is easy. You see, in real life back in farung land there are maybe 10-15% of mens who womens really get off on. These are the attractive mens, the bad boyz, the athletes with great builds, the guys with talent like muscians and fighters. Womens cream there panties over such mens. These mens, this 10-15%, they know what it feels like to have womens desire them, want to bonk there brains out, and pursue them all the time. The rest of the mens, they have to work at it all the time to get layed, most end up marrying to get layed, some end up buying the womens expensives things, some let themselves be controlled, and so on. The womens do not physically want these mens, but they settle, probably because they are fat, not hot, not pretty, so you have couples bonking and barely meeting the human requirement for procreation.. but no lust, no real sexual excitement, and no satisfaction from the hunt. These guys do nots no what it is like to be really desired, really wanted, sexually pursued. I suppose there is nothing wrongs with being average eh? But this is where it starts.

Now for the story of the loser(s). The losers come from the "average" pool of farungs above. These mens are usually a little bit smarter and more daring than the other "average" guys, maybes closer to the Alpha male than the others. We can call them Delta Males eh? They have the ideas, but not the goods (looks, build, brains, talent) to pull it off and get the 25 year old hot and toned beauties in farung land. But they want one, oh yes they do. They want ones badly. They watch pornz tapes, they read dirty stories, they leer at pretty womens on the streets. Their little minds are always working trying to figure out a way to get what they can not haves. Then ones day someone tells them about Bangcocks.

In Bangcocks they are told there are a gawdzillion 25 year old hot and toned beauties who will think you a hansum man. They will cream there panties over you because you are a farung, you are more hansum than Thai mans, because you do not lie, because you no treat womens bad, you no drinks two much, and they are waiting at the airport for YOU with signs Dana helped them make in the semaphore English classes he teeches. Yepper, you signal these 25 year old hot and toned beauties that you want a blow job, and they'll pull out the flags, one in each hand, and wave them around signaling you how much they want to give you the bestest blow job you can evers have! That man Dana is a genius eh?

You go to the airports and there they are, streaming threw the gates by the thousands. Hansum mens everywhere! My gawd, these mens are so hansum they do not even need to be clean, or have haircuts, or even have hair! These mens are so hansum to these womens that they can wear gawd awful ugly clothes, be smelly mens, never brushes their yellowing teeth, never shine their bald dome, and the womens think they are more hansum when they drinks themselves into a stupid stupor, barf in the sois, smokes hundreds or smokes, these mens are so hansum the 25 year old hot and toned beauties overlooks these things like they do not matter and for the first time in these "average" guys lives they are actually being desired by womens. 2000-5000 bahts at a time!!!

Of course these guys destined to be losers are not smarts enough to see beyond the end of their little pointy penises. They ares enjoying the moments as Delta Mens! They do not know exactly why, but they know that for some reason these 25 year old hot and toned beauties are inferior to them and this makes them desireable as mens. If you go in any bar, any club, any place to eats in the tourists areas, you can find these men and they will happily tell you why they are superiors to these womens. You here such things as "western culture is more civilized." "western culture is not corrupt" "western men are not like Thai mens" "We are educated to 12th grades" "We have white skin" "We live in nicer homes with sit down crappers" "We are honest" and the list of their superior beings goes on and on as they tell you how low the 25 year old hot and toned beauties are. "They lie from habit" "They do not no how to save" "They only went to six grades" "They had to work on a farm" and on and on they go with their bigoted generalities. I can close my eyes and imagine I am living in 1920 America in the deep south and talking to the grandmasterfunk clansmens telling me how superiors they are to the "blacks folks" they can no longer own.

These "mens" see themselves as so superior to these Thai womens, that some decide to bring them home to farung land with them. They want to show all the other "average" mens back in farung land how "desireable" and better than them they are by bringing some little cute thing younger than their daughter home to walk besides them. Yeah baby! I am a hot studley man! Look at this 25 year old hot and toned beauty hanging on my arm as proof! She might not speak English, she might not no how to use a sit down crapper, but she is all mines and she thinks I am Tom Cruise!!! Mens, I will tell you the truth. These womens they bring home? These womens are 100 times more smart than these mens and the only thing they find desireables about them is their fresh Canadian passport and the money they will earn from being a full time whorse, or the money they will earn by being smart enough to take the delusional farung man for every thing he owns! Look up "loser" in your funky wagnells and tell me these guys pictures are not right there!

But there is even a worse kind of loser. What you say? How can that be? Wells.. you have the ones who are better educated, maybe guys who have lived there lives in a laboratory or computers centers or maybe (gawd forbid) a university. These less than average mens have been teased their entire lives by the "average" mens. They were given wedgies in school, held upside down with their heads in the crappy getting "swirlies", their lunch money taken away, these guys are truly the bottom of the barrel mens.. who by some stroke of luck decided learning to read would be a good thing. A SCHOLAR IS BORN!!!

These wedgie mens thinks they are smarters than the average guys. So they put there pointy balding heads together and come up with a plan. HEY they says.k We should move over there to Bangcocks and look for our 25 year old hot and toned beautys in the malls and noodle cart stands instead of the bars. The bars they says are where all the LOSERS hang out and we are better than them! So they pack up a years supply of pocket protectors and skidaddle their pasty limp bodies to Bangcocks to begin there search for the womens of there dreamz!

While here they look down there noses at the average men, silently hating them for all the wedgies and swirlies they had to endure in there hands, and hiking up there suspenders they polish there noggins and set out to find the perfects match for them. Most find them hawking movie tickets at Major Cinema, selling makeup at Robinsons, or sitting behind a desk with a big title job making an astonishing baht 4000 per month! They are in loves mens! This is the firstest time these kinds of men have ever been around a real womens. The first times they ever got a stinky wicket if you no what I means.. AHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!

These mens often mingle with the real mens in the bars, talking toughs, acting like they really no the culture, and try there best to fits in. I thinks they thinks the mens in the bars will dunk there heads in the crappers again if they let on they are the wedgie mens.. AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!! Maybe they will eh? It makes me laughs inside so hards just thinking about it.

Once the wedgie mens finds a womens they instantly become the womens of there dreams. There womens becomes perfect, and "DIFFERENT"!!! Better than al lthe other womens eh? Yes mens, I no you have seen it before just like I has. The wedgie mens thinks they are smarter than everyone else, better than everyones else, and there womens crap do not stinky eh? I bets each ones of you readers know someones like this eh?

The funny thing is that the wedgie mens womens.. they are naturally so much more smart than the wedgie mens that they soon start controlling the wedgie mens like they are little boys. I think the wedgie mens likes this treatment. They cries, they pouts, they tell them they missed their period, and they gets whats they wants and then laughs as the wedgie mens behind there backs. Aha and Barts can tell you this for sure because we bonk these womens, these same womens, the wedgie mens womens, because they wants real mens for sex and wedgie mens to marry and take them to the land of the Canadian passports and great exchange rate. If I had ten baht for each wedgie mens womens I bonked I would be a rich man. Wait a minute, what am I saying? Blackest Bart IS A RICH MAN AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

One day the wedgie mens wake up in bed and thinks to themselves "My womens is so wonderful. I should take her homes so all the other wedgie mens can see me with a 25 year old hot and toned beauty"!!! They giggles to themselves and feels like real mens and not wedgies mens.. and then they makes their big plans to return home to farung land and shows off there prize like a farmer shows off their prize heffers and pigs eh? Do we really need to go on more to no what a loser is? Really?

Me? I laughs. I no that soon wedgie mens will be in farung land with there "different" womens raking them over the coals, right after their "different" womens learn they can get real Alpha males, and young ones, in farung land. These womens will discover they are 25 year old hot and toned beautys and that all kinds of mens will want them. They might stay long enough to get a passport, long enough to get that house build for moms and pops in Nakorn Nowheres, but then they will be dunking the wedgie mens head in the crapper themselves and laughing about it all the way to the bank, or to their boyfiends house.

Time will pass, wedgie mens wounds will heal, and being wedgies mens they will talk themselves in to blaming someones else. Wedgies mens are very good at not accepting responsibility for being wedgie mens. They will be back. They will repeat there mistakes. They will find another "different" womens. And we will call them LOSERS!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Stickman's thoughts:

This makes me think of a quote that a friend of mine in Thailand for the first time said to me last night. "There are a lot of really weird white guys here in Bangkok!"