Response To (Advice On A Former Bargirl)
This email is in response to this week's submission titled above (By Rickard). I must say that I am rather surprised by Stick's comments. Rickard is only a year older than I am but he seems to be writing like a 50 year old lonely British divorced
taxi driver that just found his "teerak" in Thailand. Rickard speaks of how in love he is with this girl and how he wakes up with tears in his eyes about having to leave her at the end of his trip. But boy, does he need
a reality check. Wake up and realize what you think you are love with:
– She comes from an extremely poor Isaan family.
– She is 26 years old.
– Not that attractive compared to other girls (more than likely this is even more so to Thais).
– Poor English.
– Doesn't like working in the bar.
– She has no computer skills.
And you claim you are quite the catch in Thailand? Of course you bloody are! This little Isaan poppet has won the lottery with you, mate. Her family must be utterly at a loss as to how she managed it (as am I). You are a young buck with endless possibilities,
yet you choose a prostitute as your possible life partner. You can't trust a thing she does. She will do absolutely everything she can to make you feel at ease and believe that she will be a great wife. I mean she is not asking for a few
1,000 baht now because she has the chance of soon hitting the jackpot. I guarantee she won't put a foot wrong on her 3 month trip to your country. She has too much to lose.
Stick, I think some of your advice is fantastic but you must have seen something that made you more hopeful about the integrity of human nature the day you wrote your comments. This guy is right about being a catch. He could do a lot better and should look at his options. In my opinion, his other 3 options (in order) are all better than having a relationship with this girl.
1. Find a girl from his own country.
2. Find a good Thai girl with some education and class.
3. Become a sex tourist – YES! At least he will only be shagging a few hookers a couple of times a year rather than marrying one and having her eat at his family's table.
I won't even get into the difficulties of introducing a hooker into European life, but Jesus Christ, surely you know the way people will look at her and what her job prospects will be? My Thai wife (educated to Masters degree, same age, good English, experience with working with Thais and non-Thais) doesn't always find the transition to UK life easy so a hooker will be a total joke. If she is able to get a job it will be something at an extremely low level. Having a Thai girlfriend with little English / Swedish who works as a cleaning lady (or something along those lines) will actually be quite humiliating for you. When you go to work or social functions she will be absolutely lost. There won't be many conversations that she will be capable of making any worthwhile contributions towards.
I know my response seems a little harsh but I would just like you to re-think and get out of this relationship with a Lamai hooker. I've been to Lamai and I don't need to explain to you what she was doing every day there. Don't settle for this girl. She is your first Thai girlfriend so you now know some of the fantastic things about having a Thai girlfriend. Now go find a real Thai girl and you will experience much, much more. When you meet a real Thai woman who has the kind of attributes you would usually seek in a farang girlfriend it can be a truly magical experience. You have to examine the underlying issues as to why you were so distraught leaving her or why you missed her so much. She doesn't seem like she has that much to make you miss her. More a case of post-LOS blues.
Let's all please stop humouring people who have decided to settle for a Thai prostitute. I am so bored of hearing stories about how people have found a bargirl who has not been destroyed by her job. "They are different from all the other bargirls. They don't always ask for money and they really just want to have a relationship with a good farang because they have had bad experiences with Thai guys." It's complete bullshit. No self respecting Thais would go near these girls. Of course they have had bad experiences with Thai guys. They are likely to only have had relationships with the non-educated, lazy, unsophisticated Isaan guys you see sitting around sipping whisky. And the truth is that they are just the female equivalent of these guys.
We must look at prostitutes the same way that we look at prostitutes in our own country. They have made a choice to enter and industry where they sell their bodies. I have met many people from many countries (including Thailand) who have come from severe poverty and managed to educate themselves or become very successful at a real job. These girls can be found in Thailand and you should look for them. Let's take bargirls for what they really are – PROSTITUTES. No more exceptions please.
DON'T MARRY A BARGIRL IN THAILAND – NO EXCEPTIONS.
DON'T DO DRUGS IN THAILAND – NO EXCEPTIONS.
(Both are fun, exhilarating and easy to do but both can leave you in circumstances that would make you wish you never set foot in LOS.)
Fair comments and it is hard to argue with what you say. When I said that the guy should pursue it, I said that because he is so head over heels for her that if he didn't, I felt he would forever regret it. 3 months won't hurt. Of course, he should never have let it get to that stage in the first place!