Readers' Submissions

Farangs The Gullible

  • Written by Anonymous
  • July 22nd, 2008
  • 13 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


Well it seems that nothing has changed. Falangs are still having their hearts ripped out by those devious Thai gals. I hadn’t written in a while because there just wasn’t anything new to add. But I just read something that motivated me to write. It was on the VisaThai site where a guy wrote a topic titled “What most falangs cannot give a Thai girl,” or words to that effect, in the General Topics section. This was a falang guy writing this and I was just absolutely fascinated that this one guy really gets it. He’s figured out why falang guys have so much trouble finding a good Thai woman. Face it Mr. Stickman, not too many of your readers have figured this one out. Sure they all come up with theories, but it’s always the same theme—they’re the victim and the Thai women are the villain. Pretty tired, and always grossly one-sided. Anyways, I just want to expand on what this guy was trying to say cause I think he’s on to something.

First of all, this submission is directed towards those falangs still in denial. Those who still haven’t bothered to learn their GF / wife's language. Those whose GF / wife can’t speak English nearly as well as their native language. Those who can’t even communicate with their GF / wife! They always seem to be the same falangs who still think they’re God’s gift to Thai women. Those who believe they’re here to save those Thai women from those evil Thai men. Yeah, the typical falang.

Falangs in Thailand are a pretty gullible bunch. More details later, but they basically believe anything that reinforces the illusion. They want the bimbettes to call them “handsome man.” They want to believe it when the bar honeys tell them that they’re “different” than all the other Johns they’ve been with. And they mostly want to believe that Thai women “don’t like Thai man.” But they really don’t want any part of reality. It would be a “bursting of the bubble” sort of revelation.

The truth is, women are women the world over. Let’s take the good old US of A. I read somewhere once that a woman knows pretty much the kind of man she wants to be with for the rest of her life by the time she hits her early teens. I shit you not. By the time she’s like 13, she already has in her mind her dream guy. That knight in shining armor business. Do you know where this image comes from? Oh it’s mostly from the media. The teen magazines. The movie star idols. The rock stars. But it’s also the captain of the football team. The most popular guy in school. That sort of thing.

But she finds out pretty quick that this dream guy, even if she were to find herself with one, really ain’t all he’s cracked up to be. The guy has morning breath. Passes gas. Snores. Doesn’t bring her flowers every day. Forgets her birthday. Sometimes forgets she’s even around when the game is on. And he still thinks he’s “all that.” She still dreams of the perfect guy, but now it’s about just settling for the next best thing. And a lot of the time, the next best thing sort of sucks. Hence the 50% divorce rate.

Well you know what? Thai women are not that much different. They have their idea of a dream guy as well. Except we’re in Thailand. Their perfect guy also comes from the teen magazines. The movie star idols—or soap opera studs. The rock stars in the videos. The most popular guy in school. And so on. But these dream guys are going to be Thai guys. Because that’s what you see when you turn on the tube. Or the radio. These guys all speak Thai. And they look Thai, even the half-breeds. And man, do they know how to talk to a Thai girl to make her melt. Falangs can’t touch these guys. They are out of your league. And if they’ve got a little bit of money, forget about it.

But many Thai girls out there are looking to settle with somebody because their dream Thai guy just didn’t pan out. You throw the money factor in there, mix it with a little poverty and life of misery, then yeah, you’ve got a whole lot of Thai women with an agenda. Most of the Thai girls are still looking for the decent Thai guy with means, but they’ve really got to have the whole package. And even if they did, they best dispense with the bull. Thai guys can read these girls like a book. So can the guy’s family. Thai girls can’t pull any shenanigans on a Thai guy with stature. But a falang guy? Man, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

I’ve never met a Thai gal with a falang who’s never been with a Thai man. Never seen it. I’ve dated Thai girls who’ve never dated a Thai guy. Or any guy. I’ve dated Thai girls who would never consider dating a falang. Thai girls are quite diverse. Every gal I’ve dated are different in their own way. Different interests. Different needs. They all have different things that move them. That’s what I’ve seen. Now why is it that falangs all seem to be dating the same sorts of women all the time? The way falangs describe it, all Thai women lie, are shallow, not very bright, and are only interested in money. I’d say that pretty much describes the Thai women that date falangs—by your own description. But they seem to be a world apart from the typical Thai women that are with Thai guys. Wonder why that is? (see my first submission).

Falangs believe the biggest lie in Thailand, which is that Thai women “no like Thai man. Thai man no good.” Isn’t it odd that there are so many Thai women with Thai men? Heck, there’s quite a few falang men that come to Thailand for the Thai guys (gay falangs that is), so Thai guys can’t be all that bad. But it’s the one line that Thai women can tell a falang guy to gain instant credibility and sympathy. Doesn’t matter if she’s lying through her teeth, or if she has a Thai BF on the side that she’s madly in love with. If she tells a falang this lie, he will believe it every single time. Because he has to. It feeds his ego and convinces him that he’s the savior. All part of the illusion. If I had a Thai female friend who was dating a falang guy (for money, say) but was doing the dirty with her Thai boyfriend and her falang was catching on, I’d advise her to tell him that “she doesn’t like Thai men. Thai men no good.” He will believe it, guaranteed. He may even think that she’s boinking another falang guy, but he would never suspect her Thai boyfriend. Why would he? She “no like Thai men.”

You want a Thai girl who’s captivated by a falang? May even fantasize about the falang “dream guy?” There’s a few out there and I would classify them as deviant. Not deviant in a bad way, but just not normal. Falangs don’t agree (or don’t want to agree)? Simple example: what do you think of when you’re in your home country and you see a white woman with a black guy? Well that’s how Thais see it. It’s just not normal. In America, most white parents—even the ones who claim not to be racists—would prefer their daughter not marry a black man. Would prefer she marries her own kind. Some reasons may be concern for their daughter related to social stigma, lifetime of discrimination, etc. Some parents, of course, are just pure racists. Well in this regard, Thai parents are not much different from white American parents. They’re probably less racist and more open-minded to a certain extent, but if given a choice, they’d prefer their daughter to marry a Thai guy. That’s normal. They don’t want their daughters to be looked at the same as all those other low-class hookers with falangs.

Since we’re talking about the similarities between America and Thailand in this regard, let’s discuss these American white women who prefer black men. There’s a good number, certainly, but still a pretty small percentage (just like Thai gals who date falang men). Now imagine the black men in this scenario. I’m sure they talk amongst themselves about it, maybe even have a website devoted to it. Let’s call it “Whitewinchvisa.com.” I’m sure what they’ll talk about are things like how white women just love black men. That all white women think white men are no good. That every white woman fantasizes about being with a black man, even though she’s with a white guy. Yada yada yada.

Now if you, the white guy, were to infiltrate this site and read what these black guys are talking about, you’d probably find it rather comical. I mean, most of the white women in America are still with white men. The best looking white women are still with white men (save black celebrities and athletes). So how can these guys believe what these few white women are telling them? Sound familiar. Because that’s EXACTLY how it is in Thailand. That’s why when I read these expat sites in Thailand, I find them so utterly comical. Falangs will absolutely refuse to even entertain reality. See for yourself. Most Thai women in Thailand are still with Thai men. The best looking Thai women are still with Thai men. Something like 90% of the Thai women with falangs are not considered remotely attractive to the average Thai guy. Am I missing something here? If falang guys are in such high demand, don’t you think the best and the brightest Thai babe would be lining up at the airport just waiting to meet one? Not happening, is it? The exact opposite, actually. The best and the brightest wouldn’t be caught near one. <The second half of paragraph really is spot onStick>

I read a Stick submission a while back and the guy was asking the question “What do Thai women bring to the table?” This, of course, was to imply that they bring nothing, that it’s the falang guys who bring all the bacon. I see it rather differently. In fact, in talking with several Thai women who’ve been with falangs, the more intriguing question is “What do falang guys bring to the table?” Besides money, the answer is “not a whole lot.” Not a whole lot of the really important stuff. Thai gals will say that they can’t have an intelligent conversation with a falang (ever heard that one before?). Certainly not in her language. There’s no shared culture. No understanding of family obligations. No humor, no fun conversations. It makes you believe that any Thai woman with a falang guy must only be in it for the money because there’s nothing else!

So what do falang guys bring to the table? Faithfulness? I think not. Even Stickman has discussed falang men in Thailand and they’re just as likely to stray as the average Thai guy. If you’re living in Thailand, it doesn’t matter what your race is. Percentages are about the same, simply because of the availability of options. Family values? A little different, I’d say. Falangs would just as soon put their aging parents in a nursing home. Thais don’t even consider this as an option. Conversation? Next. Culture compatability? Next. Sexual experience? Christ, most Thai women couldn’t care less. Falangs that bring this up demonstrate their pure ignorance of Thai women. The only Thai women who would find this remotely desirable are the truly liberated ones (read those in the business) and who’ve had many partners. These are not Thai women you’d want to build a life with. What’s left? Cha-ching. But cheer up. If not for the money, falangs would have a really difficult time meeting any Thai woman, much less good ones. But if the falang can speak Thai, and fluently, well that changes everything.

There is one category of Thai women who would prefer falangs for the right reasons. But they’re not in Thailand. They are those who grew up in the west. All they’ve seen in the media are falang guys. The problem is they pretty much think like falang women and would not be interested in guys twice their age. They’re pretty much falang women in Thai suits. And who the heck wants any part of that? If I’d wanted a falang woman, I’d go for a real one rather than a fake one.

Speaking of falang guys, there seems to be more and more younger falang guys choosing Thailand to live. Nearly 100% of these guys come with little or no net worth. They don’t have much in the way of job prospects (I’m talking guys who did not come to work for a foreign company or government agency) and a lot seem to end up as English teachers. I’d always advise a Thai gal that if she’s going a date a falang guy, she’s probably better off dating an older falang guy. At least there’s a better chance he’ll have the means to support her and her family. Many don’t listen, but they’ll learn for themselves.

So that’s it. Thai women want a full relationship in pretty much the same way as non-Thai women. The most important aspect of a “relationship” is communication. So if you can’t speak Thai, you could never give her a complete relationship. But if the Thai woman is dirt poor, of which there are many, then she would be willing to make sacrifices. Just don’t complain about it when she starts asking for money because that’s what you bring to the table. In many ways, she’s already sacrificing her belief of what love is for financial security. She brings more to the table than you ever will.

Jayson

Stickman's thoughts:

I really hope that this submission sees a similar set of responses, in the way of submissions, as your first submission did.

I have always maintained that anyone who wants to settle in Thailand long-term should learn the language to a high level. Very, very few foreigners do.

I agree that many foreigners end up with the least desirable Thai women.

I do however disagree about what each party brings to the table, so to speak. It's different with every person, in every couple, but generally, I do think that the farang brings his fair share…