10 Money Musts for New Thai-Farang Couples
You're in love, you're committed, and now you've decided to take the big step that says "I'm yours / you're mine." Congratulations! Before you seal the deal though, get your financial affairs in order. Why? Because among
the chief reasons couples often split are fights over issues that deal with money.
Here are 10 tips that will ensure you start off on sound financial footing before you co-mingle your finances with those of your prospective partner:
1. Check your credit report: Is it accurate? If not, take steps to have the record set straight. Thai lady won't really care about this until after she has come to your country and as long as it doesn't affect her ability to live comfortably she won't care at all. If you have bad credit don't tell her because “A good credit rating means you and your partner can buy that house, car or furniture.”
2. Put a cap on credit card limits: If you leave yours open-ended it might be too tempting to spend, spend, spend. And soon it will be the two of you buying things! At first your Thai lady won't care about obtaining credit but you must open credit card accounts for her and build her credit over time. Everyone sometimes needs emergency cash or money to start a business. Teach her responsibility by getting her on the credit management track!
3. If either of you own a business, assess its value. Regardless of whether the business is large or small, knowing what it is worth is important. Get a business appraiser to help you with this one. The two of you may want to grow this business, but knowing its worth and projected worth could be valuable. Many Thai ladies have thier own very successful business but If your lady is poor and you don't know yet how much class she has then never tell her your full net worth until you have been married for quite awhile. Years even. Only tell her how much you can afford to lose to her until she has her own government or professional job that offers great security.
Don't lie to your Thai lady if she is poor because if you don't have money to support her and her family she will quickly fall out of love and she will start looking for a better offer and if one comes along well your outta luck pal because many ladies marry you only for security!
4. If either of you have real estate, assess its value. How much equity do you have? Find out. You and hers might want to use it to buy a bigger place. If you are in Thailand and you buy a house and your lady is not HI-SO or she already has her own house then the house you buy is HERS! If she already has a house just assume from the beginning she wants you to help her build a bigger or nicer house and it goes into her name of course.
If her family is poor she will definitely want you to help build a house for her mama and papa. It certainly is understandable if a lady is good and her family is poor she wants to do all she can for them and if you are Farang and you love your wife it will be expected of you too! Don't be a jerk and tell her she is wrong for wanting to help her poor family. If your mother was poor would you help her? If your wife is good she would do the same for your family too!
It is simply astounding how most Farang just don't understand how poor most normal Thai girls are! Because Thai people smile so much Farang never understands the quiet desperation that lies just beneath the surface and then when this desperation surfaces he accuses her of loving money too much (many times is the case) Thai smile (Yeeeim) becomes starkly contrasted and your perspective is skewed regarding the morals of good Thai girls! Skewed because thier smile and kindness and optimism sets the bar far higher for morals then you can set for the poor in your own country! Place yourself in thier shoes. Can you keep a smile on your face every day if you were so poor? NO WAY!! One main reason you live in Thailand is because you are RICH there!
And it's simply ignorant stupidity that most Farang who live in Thailand (no excuse for you Mr.Thailand) are always telling ladies they barely know of thier opinion that they don't approve of her working 2 jobs to help her poor family. You have a cultural agenda to change her from being too good because you don't ever want to be in a position to help a Thai girls family!
And many Farang has never been in a position where his mother and father has lived very poor during his adult years and has therefore never felt compassion towards his parents that he would otherwise. And some other Farang does not have the money to help in a way that Thai lady wants (she wants all she can get). This is understandable but don't be in denial about this point and then put down and dissapprove of good ladies high moral standards for loving and helping her poor Thai Family!
Its quite crazy to Thai lady how someone with money can be so heartless without sympathy or compassion to the needs of others. Don't tell ladies you just meet you don't approve of them being so good to work a job so hard to give the most money they can to their poor families. You really come across very inhumane. Put things into perspective and place yourself in Thai ladies shoes and think about what you would do when it comes to helping your POOR FAMILY!
If you cannot afford to give her a house then never buy a house in Thailand because if you divorce you LOSE the house. Simple as that. Same with car purchases unless you pay 100% down. That is the only way you can own a car in your name in Thailand. Think your poor lady will divide the house with you after the divorce? Think again, she has too many Thai people telling her she must keep the house for future security! And there are many ladies who pretend to be very good then after you buy her a house and car she will already have a Thai man and you are then forced to leave the house you paid for! Again never spend more money in Thailand then you can afford to lose!
5. If either or both of you have pension plans, 401Ks, or IRAs, you need to know what they are worth today and inquire as to what they will be worth when you and your partner want to kick back and retire one day. Keep contributing to these plans.
6. Prepare a reasonable budget:
“Tally up what it's been costing you to live alone on a monthly basis.”
Now, do it again with your partner in mind because soon you will be living on a budget for two! What's your new bottom line? Can your lady live with this? She probably can. If she likes to wear a lot of Gold then status means too much to her and she may very well be greedy to boot! Try to avoid dating this type of lady. And if she is poor lady don't spoil her quickly because money and success brings power and most younger people do not know how to handle it. And many older lady simply become selfish. She will definitely change whether for good or bad remains to be seen. IF suddenly your young lady starts snubbing her friends and must own Dolce and Gabanna she is teetering on prissy Westernized thinking and will burn you if she isn't set straight by her friends. If your older Thai lady doesn't show any kindness or generosity towards her long time friends or co workers with at least a gift on her birthday then dump this lady. She is very selfish and it will extend to you as well. And Rich man Don't be a fool and give the lady you fell in love with 5,000,000 Baht after 3 weeks together. DON'T DO IT! She may not be the lady you fell in love with afterwards! YES I HAVE SEEN IT, its more common then you think!
7. Organize your paperwork: Putting all your account numbers, financial statements, bank records, stock certificates and other items that have to do with your finances in one three-ring binder is one more way to get your financial house in order. Don't forget to keep it updated. Open a joint checking account with just a little bit of money for your lady to put savings into for her family or for her new car. Do not open joint credit card accounts.
8. Make sure your taxes are current: You certainly don't want to go into a relationship with tax bills — personal or property — hanging over your heads. If you owe the IRS, pay them. A clean slate is important to the overall health of your relationship.
9. “Prepare to close existing accounts and open new ones”
This goes for utilities, department store accounts, your online service — anything you and your partner will both be using. You've heard the term: share and share alike. If your lady is good she will be proud she can contribute in any way!
10. If you have these, update your will and trust(s): This item is often the one most couples overlook but could become extremely important in terms of "who gets what" and "who handles what," should you be faced with an unexpected catastrophic circumstance or disability. If you married a Bargirl and you live in Thailand never tell her you have a million dollar life insurance policy FOOL!
11. It's a little after the fact by this point in the article but try to couple with a woman who have friends with moral values, and a good family who demonstrate basic moral values such as kindness, fairness, some generosity. The best families keep a strong reign on thier daughter (pays her education, keeps her at home so she won't take a boyfriend until she graduate college and will not have sex until marriage). If she is strictly butterfly girl for security then take your time (years perhaps before you marry) and consider never marrying a low class low morals Thai Bargirl or any good Thai girl if she is very stubborn, or prone to violence (boxing you, stabbing you, getting moody and pissed at you) but if you marry her anyway well you are setting yourself up for misery!
12. Never date a man who love to sit at the bar and drink like young or old Thai man. This man loves alcohol more then you. Yes there are good men who drink but the best men drink very little. Of course don't love a man who still love Pattaya ladies and whores. Yes there are good men who can take good care of you who occasionally go to bars and whores. There are business owners in Pattaya (preferably new and stupid) who can love and take good care of you but if this type of man cannot offer demonstrable proof he has been in a long term relationship for at least 5 years then you should reconsider his love talk and offers of marriage. IF he is over 40 years old but he has never been married at least one time well he may never marry or something is wrong with him.
13. Give a good Thai girl a break if she tells a little white lie! Lets take a look at Farang man who meets Farang lady in Farang land. A recent study was done and grabbed CNN headline news in which the study demonstrated that men lie on average 7 times on the first date. Things like age, weight, income, family, criminal background, credit, past wives or current girlfriends. Most are considered white lies and acceptable in the bar scene when you are chatting it up. But then you go ballistic if your Thai girl says she never dated a Farang before or she doesn't want to admit she has a kik. You must keep things into perspective because you will miss opportunities with some of the very best Thai girls because you take a little white lie very early in a relationship and turn it into the ultimate betrayal. These are your issues from having dated Bargirls. So many situations can be discussed here but will save for another time..