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cloud nine thailand

7:00 PM

I drift out of my apartment and wander down the soi to the skytrain station. I take the skytrain to Nana and a few minutes later I am at Foodland on Sukhumvit Soi 5. Tucked in shoulder to shoulder with Nigerians, Arabs, English teachers, heavily tattooed bargirls and the odd policeman who seems to be paying all of the foreigners extra special attention, I wolf down my club sandwich. It's tasty and cheap and 75 baht (the price it used to be) I am ready for a night on the town.

7:00 PM

I get off the phone with my favourite pizza company and know that within 30 minutes a delicious pizza will be delivered to my condo. I will have to go downstairs to get it because security is good here and they don't allow delivery company staff to enter the building, even with the permission of a condo owner. The pizza is delivered at 7:30 and I wolf it down.

7:45

I make my way across to Nana Plaza. It's just a few minutes walk away and I am there well before 8:00 PM. A bit too early really. There are a couple of bars with happy hours and these bars have a few cheap customers, guys like me who like to get a few down them on the cheap before they get down to the serious business of finding a friend for the evening. There aren't many customers but the bars are smoky. Girls are still coming in to work; perhaps only a third of the girls have already arrived and all of the more attractive girls and the show girls won't drift in until a bit before 9 PM.

7:45 PM

I swivel the TV so that I can see it from my work desk. The fist of the night's live football matches has started and I am half following it. I get online and fire up MSN Messenger and Yahoo Messenger, my backup. I log in to TLL and wait for women to either show interest in me or, ideally, commence a private chat session with me. With MSN Messenger open there is an extensive list of women, approaching 400, with another 100 or so on top of that who I had previously added to my list but who I have since blocked from contacting me. They were outside of Bangkok, ugly or I classified them as time wasters. We chatted for a while and they never wanted to meet. I have no more time to waste with them.

9:00 PM

I have had 3 beers, spent 210 baht and am now leaving Nana. Even way back then it sucked after 9 PM (much worse than it sucks now) and I walk down to Soi Cowboy. It's an easy 15 minute walk and there is plenty to see along the way. I make a point of walking on the even numbered side of the soi. There are less street vendors, less obstructions and you're much less likely to have an unwanted encountered with any light-fingered shemales. That lot much prefer the odd-numbered side of Sukhumvit, especially the area around soi 3/1 and soi 7.

9:00 PM

I have narrowed down my search and am now chatting with just two girls. Both are pretty. One is in a net cafe and one is in her condo. Through subtle chat of naughty escapades I have deduced that each is looking for a good time. Some don't react well to guys who try to get them over to his place of abode right away so I chat for a while, attempting to charm them and bring them around to my way of thinking. Each of these two have indicated that they "are lonely tonight" or "want to go out" or just "don't want to be bored on a Saturday night". These subtle signals are loud and clear.

10:00 PM

I am on to beer number 5 and have a nice buzz going. I'm not drunk but I feel good, am smiling, look happy and have more confidence than usual. I've found a lady I like and have bought her a lady drink, something I only do with a lady I am interested in barfining. No point in throwing money away unnecessarily, is there? Neither do I waste their time if I know I am not going to take them. She is snuggled up against me and gives me a kiss, much more passionate than the one you mother gave you at the airport when you she knew you were off to Thailand. I'm on to a sure thing and she is trying to secure the sale. She tells me she doesn't want to dance and asks me if I want to pay bar. She says she just wants to sit next to me and not dance. I know that if I suggest going back to my place she will be out the back and changed into street clothes in a flash.

10:00 PM

I am still talking with the same two girls. The first football match has finished and the second started. I am monitoring it in the background but my attention is with the two ladies who now occupy my full attention. One is from Isaan and one is from Bangkok. The Bangkok girl has my interest. Her English is good, she understands jokes in English and she has a look I like. I am not convinced that I can have her tonight and I know that I will have to proposition her soon. The little Isaan thing is a sure thing. She has already told me that she does not want to spend the night alone in her "loom" – yes, she spells it that way – and as luck would have it the internet cafe she is in is only a 50 baht cab ride from me.

11:30 PM

I've jumped around a couple of Cowboy bars after that little number I had been sitting with scared me off with her heavily scarred tummy. When it was her turn to get up on stage I saw the undeniable evidence that she had had a baby – even though she claimed she had told me that she had not. Lying bitch. She tried to get me to pay bar before I saw her stomach! Her body has been marred after bearing a kid. I am starting to get frustrated. Many of the pretty girls have been barfined. That doesn't bother me as many of the most popular girls are less fun and do a runner within 30 minutes of hitting your room, citing some drama art home or in their personal life, all of which means that their boyfriend or husband expects them home by a certain time. The sweeter, more innocent girls are also being picked off and I start to realise that I might be spending this Saturday night alone.

11:30 PM

The Bangkok girl has arrived. I go down and meet her in the lobby. She has driven here and I jump into the passenger seat of her car. It's an odd way to meet someone for the first time but I have done it many times now, just like this. Her car is near new and she is beautifully made up. It's darkish in the car but I know that under the bright lights of my condo's lounge she will look no worse than she does now – and quite possibly a lot better. I point the way into the condo's car park and she parks her car. We make our way to the lift and upstairs.

1:00 AM

It's an hour before closing and I have finally found someone in one of Cowboy's smaller bars. She is sweet and seems customer focused. When I ask her how much she says up to you. That means 1,000 baht, irrespective of how long she stays. I pay the bill and the barfine, 400 baht, and we make our way to the end of the soi and grab a taxi back to my place.

1:00 AM

We had watched a little TV on my sofa and chatted about nothing much. We both know why she had come and she was just going through her final checklist, sort of like pilots do before take off, convincing herself that she really did want to give herself to me. We are embraced now and experiencing the thrill of removing a new sexual partner's clothing for the first time. Will those breasts be as round as they look? Will her stomach be flat? Will I discover a tattoo? As the last piece of clothing is removed she jumps on me and we go for it right there on the sofa. She had come to my condo for a reason. She wanted sex. She wanted to feel good. In the heat of the moment, her passion overcoming her, she was riding me, panting, screaming. She motioned for me to grab her breasts and we were kissing deeply, passionately, her bouncing up and down on me, the sort of passionate sex you see in the movies. She hadn't asked for a condom and I hadn't had a chance to retrieve one from the bedside table. A table in the other room. This girl is hungry and she wanted to be fxxxed. She wants to enjoy sex. She reaches her climax and I quickly follow, careful to pull out. I come all over her stomach. We lay together in a post coital cuddle. I don't need to reflect on the non-condom usage. I have done it that many times with these internet girls that I know there will be no problem. More than 50 and not a single problem. I had a blood test not long ago and it came back clean.

1:15 AM

I enter my apartment building with a starry eyed girl dressed in the uniform, tight blue jeans and a tight T-shirt. The receptionist and security guard knew within a second that she was a paid companion. No doubt they will tell the morning shift what Cheerful Farang has been up to when they arrive for duty at 7 AM. We get upstairs and in the bright lights of my apartment I see her face is covered in small acne scars. She is not the pretty girl I thought she was. She grabs the TV remote and turns it to a local channel. I motion for her to go to the bathroom and she seems annoyed and suggests I go first, her eyes never leaving the TV. I shower and return. She has not moved, her eyes glued to the TV. She cannot help but laugh at the slapstick comedy. I tell her it is time to shower and she pouts and makes a show of stomping off to the shower. An eternity later she returns with a towel wrapped around her body. She slips into bed with the towel on and insists that every single light source including her beloved TV be turned off. I duly comply and can just make out her pushing the towel off her side of the bed. It starts off a little mechanically but she warms up and gets into it. When we are ready for the moment of truth she guides me towards her and I realise she is ready for me to mount her sheathless. I don't dare, having had some bad experiences in the past with broken condoms, bargirls and the drippy dick following. We do the dirty deed which is fun and I guess she enjoys it somewhat. But you could never call this boyfriend / girlfriend sex though. I bet she saves that for her real boyfriend.

1:45 AM

I walk her down to her car, kiss her goodbye and head back up to my condo. I know that there is a less than 50 : 50 chance that I will see her again, but I still make the usual promise, "I will call you." I know that if I call her she will be keen to meet again, be it merely for sex, or perhaps to have a go at a relationship. If I do meet her again, it will be in a more romantic setting, dinner somewhere. But there are so many more out there like her and there is nothing quite like sex with a new partner for the first time. I hit the sack and am out in seconds.

2:00 AM

We each take a short shower and return to bed. She snuggles up next to me and I have to push her away. I try to explain that I cannot sleep with someone so close to me but she doesn't take it well and huffs and moves as far away as she can.

8:30 AM

I wake up in my condo after a good night's sleep. I have all of Sunday ahead of me, a day off, a time to relax. I wonder what I will do today? Maybe a nice breakfast followed by some time online looking for someone new…

9:30 AM

I wake up and notice someone sleeping next to me. As I rise she doesn't even so much as stir. I didn't sleep as well as I do when I sleep alone. I pad around the apartment trying not to wake the sleeping lump in the bed. I turn on the coffee machine and wander over to the bed and peer at her close up while she sleeps. What the hell was I thinking when I selected her? I get online and read the news. She eventually wakes up and after realisation that she is not sleeping above the bar in Cowboy she makes her way to the bathroom. No, I do not want another round, I think to myself. She takes forever in the bathroom and returns with fresh smelling hair, having tried out every single one of my various shampoos, indulging even in those which had not yet been opened. I go to the bathroom and see that there is water all over the floor. How did she manage that? I'm getting hungry and want to go out and grab a bite. I have no intention of inviting her her to join me. Almost an hour after she awoke she is standing at the door. I open my wallet and push some baht into her handbag. She doesn't say anything and delicately places it in her wallet and leaves the apartment. She might see me again but she will never see me again like this. I curse myself for wasting that cash. I had fun in the bars but wish I had come home alone. The barfine plus the money given to her is not small change and I wish I had not brought her home. Another hour was wasted this morning with a stranger her that I didn't want. That's an hour of my day off gone. I wait a couple of minutes for her to exit the condo and look out of the window and watch her amble slowly away from the building and down the soi. I wait another 5 minutes before exiting. I walk past the security and receptionist, my eyes fixed on a spot in the distance.

I used to love going to the bars, finding someone for the night and taking her back to my place. It was my Saturday night ritual and I did it often – for well over two years before I realised that "Hey, I really do not enjoy this!" More often than not I regretted it the next day.

I never thought you could find Thai women outside of the bar environment for fun. Perhaps back then you couldn't? I don't know, but I sure didn't have any luck back then. Now the Internet gives unlimited opportunity to meet decent Thai women for fun. Don't believe what anyone says, it is easy to meet Thai women online for no strings attached sex. And it is better. Much, much better!

You meet more attractive ladies, the cost is less and the sex is better. What more can you ask for?

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

You're following a path that many have walked. There has been a real shift away from the naughty bars, particularly by those who live here. Some guys used to have the gogo bars as their "local" but many have now switched to bars of the less naughty variety.