Two Tours and Different Types of Women
I am 49 years old. For the last decade I have been on two great tours. The sex tour and the GFE tour. But before I went on these, I had a girlfriend.
We had a similar view of the world. We were compatible in intellect, career, and background. We enjoyed being with each other. It was not a great GFE. It was a friendship. We really enjoyed each other on a mental level. We enjoyed each other's company, but we never had sex.
Being the type of girl she is, one day she suggested that men should go and see sex workers to relieve themselves. To her it was a obvious solution to an obvious problem.
THE SEX TOUR
I am sure she didn't have any idea what monster she released in me with that suggestion. I went to my first massage parlor and was serviced by an Asian beauty wearing a little summer dress and white panties.
Well, I never talked with that girlfriend again after that. I was off to the races. For someone like me, who had never had the sex tour before, it was a powerful liberation. I wanted to have a lot of sex experiences. I wanted to get what I hadn't gotten my whole life.
It had a lot to do with women sticking it in my face my whole life, but telling me to f*** off at the same time. Women truly are the sex tourists in my culture.
My sex tour gave me my balance back.
THE GFE TOUR
During this time, I also became aware of the internet dating sites. Like many men here, I wasn't interested in the dating sites in my own country. Not when the Asian women seemed so much more interested in me. The difference was night and day.
So I started contacting Asian women.
After dating some Asian women, I found one that brought on the next great tour of my life. The GFE tour.I found a wonderful Asian girl twenty years younger than me and I fell in love. For me, she was a young beauty that really loved me.
For her, I represented love, devotion, money and stability. Because of that magical combination, our love affair lasted for a year.
But after a year the love faded. And once the love goggles were off, we both were not prepared for the challenges that confront two people with such different ages and backgrounds. And this brought me to my next great insight.
THE GFE IS NOT THE SAME AS A GREAT RELATIONSHIP
The recent Japanese movie "Train Man" is the quintessential GFE movie. A young computer nerd meets and courts a young beauty. It shows the incredible craving, the addiction. It shows how every step for him is a terror with the potential of failure, how every response from her is a miracle that he is eternally grateful for. At the end of the movie he breaks down weeping and professing just how deep his addiction for his lover has become.. The movie ends with both of them pledging their love to each other FOREVER. This movie was perfect example of what Korski talks about in his brilliant article, "Men Who Fall in Love With Thai Hookers are Clinically Sick"
The GFE experience is like a powerful drug, similar to cocaine and heroine.
THAT IS WHY THE GFE IS A MIND F**K
The GFE throws you into a highly drugged state, It is called love. The problem is, it only lasts for 12-18 months.
When the GFE is over, you may find that you have nothing in common with your girlfriend. Because the GFE is not about finding a person that is a good match for you. It is something more primal than that. It is nature drugging you for it's own purpose. It is nature seeking to reproduce itself.
In that incredible submission "On Our Desire To Defy Gravity" the writer states "Biology is not about good intentions. It is about procreation. It wants us to continue the species, not have a good time. It gives us a good time, indeed, but only so we will continue the species. Once that happens, we have a diminishing value to the greater natural order."
It is awfully easy for a man to marry and produce children, while on the sex and GFE tour. After all, nature only cares about reproducing itself. It is not concerned with your own happiness. No wonder so many get divorced. A man needs to go through the sex tour, the GFE tour, and come to recognize that neither of them necessarily make for a good relationship. Men often create relationships with women they are not compatible with long before they have gotten through all of these steps.
DIFFERENT TYPES OF WOMEN
There is a great book, written by Barbara DeAngelis called "Are You the One for Me". In it, she details what to look for in a compatible lover.
The point of the book is you may find a woman you have great sex with and you may find a woman you have great GFE with, but that doesn't mean she may be a great woman for a long term relationship.
There are many variables that go into finding a woman that is compatible with you. Much more than great sex or GFE experience.
So having taken the sex tour and the GFE tour, I am now in a much better position to appreciate how a particular woman will fit into my life. I compartmentalize women now. When I see one that is really sexy, that one is good for sex.
I know my Asian ladies are good for temporary GFE (and sex). And I know from that girlfriend way back when, the type of woman that is good for me at a mental level. Of course, there is also the woman who is good for nothing. She either has no interest in me (a lot of those in my own country), or I have no interest in her. You must take the sex tour and GFE tour to be able to differentiate between these and use them for their proper purpose.
We all have different ways of understanding ourselves.