“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (2): Coincidence or Synchronicity: FROM RELAPSE TO MIRACLES…”
“Prosperity: The eternal flow of all that’s good in life…”
By Carl "J.C." Pantejo, Copyright December 2007.
(Author “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor,” Copyright August 2007. Pantejo – Y.N. Vurce Publishing.)
*Below is the second in a series of real life events experienced by the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in “My Friend Yu – the Prosperity Mentor: Book II,” Pantejo – Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.
Enjoy this true story, my friends.
I hope you learn from my foibles and follies.
In the first article “Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (1): From Heartbreak to Happiness (Nov 2007),” I recounted my heartbreak, emotional ordeal, grief letter, and recovery.
What happened immediately after writing that grief letter was truly miraculous…
– FEELING LIKE MYSELF AGAIN –
…The grief letter was done. It was time to move on. Following the advice I’d read about recommended post-break up activities, I kept myself as busy as possible. I returned to the gym and got back into shape quickly.
Luckily, I’ve always been rather resilient (physically and emotionally).
I was feeling like myself again – fit, confident, and happy. I rekindled friendships that had gone by the wayside during my time with the ex-girlfriend. I threw myself into my teaching and writing. And I learned to live alone – happily.
I felt so stupid to have endured all the self-inflicted wounds from my recent relationship.
But life was different now:
No more rushing home; anxious to see, hug, and kiss my girlfriend – only to find the house empty.
No more wondering where she was.
No more angst over who she was with and what she was doing.
No more sleepless nights hoping she’d call or come home soon.
No more financial irresponsibility. No more instances of food money spent on everything EXCEPT food (e.g., jewelry, DVD movies, exorbitant phone bills – phone cards, junk food, longstanding unpaid debts, etc.).
No more financial strain from multiple unplanned expenses (i.e., ex-girlfriend’s new: clothes, shoes, make-up, perfumes, distant relatives’ “emergencies,” impromptu parties, and restaurant dinners that always included a few of her friends, etc.).
In fact, I suspect that the money I gave her that was earmarked for her mother was never sent.
In short, no more bad surprises.
Yes, life was now smooth, relaxed, and easy. Although I sometimes missed the good things from the past relationship, I realized that the tender or happy moments were too few and far between to justify the huge cost in stress, health, money, and emotions.
I vowed to, when ready, get into a more win/win vs. lose/win relationship.
The problem wasn’t the lack of candidates. There were plenty of women nearby who would have gladly nursed my emotional injuries. The challenge was making sure I even wanted – and was ready – for another try at love.
I told myself that if I was still “on the rebound,” the worst thing I could do was to selfishly find comfort in the convenient arms of another woman; a woman who probably sincerely cared for (if not loved) me, but for whom I was only fond of. Like? Maybe. Love? No.
In the short term, the immediate intimacy with another beautiful woman would easily make me feel better. But in the end, I would feel guilty about hurting another, innocent person. Since I recently experienced heartbreak, I profoundly knew how bad it felt to be used and abused. I knew I couldn’t live with myself if I did the same to someone else.
I decided to just wait. Whenever the time felt right, I would know it, and act.
– LESSONS FROM RELAPSE –
Emotional hurts take time to heal. How much time? It all depends on the intensity and length of the severed relationship. Even if you feel like you’ve recovered, emotional relapses (episodes of anger, depression, and tears) often occur unexpectedly…
…It was a special day at work. The Thai High School was holding their annual athletic event at a big stadium. Teams of students would compete against each other. A lot of fanfare and ceremony was the norm for this yearly spectacle. There was even a camera crew from an Asian/International news station covering the event.
My friends and I noticed the stunning female Asian news reporter; and as a group of American males often do, commented on how lucky her boyfriend or husband must be.
The woman was petite; fair skinned, had alluring Asian eyes, a perfect body, possessed an air of professional confidence, and smiled – a smile that could swallow the whole world. Yes, this was a special, classy lady in a land where Asian beauty was the norm; but where higher education, professional credentials, and “western style” work ethics were rather rare.
She stuck with the camera crew and colleagues and finally disappeared into the VIP, air-conditioned office reserved for TV reporters and school’s executive staff.
With no one else to ogle, I and my fellow foreign teachers re-focused on the task at hand: to show our support for our respective (assigned) teams. I felt good. The sun was shining and the day’s agenda was a nice break from teaching English all day.
But then I noticed something that instantly crumbled my cheerful attitude.
All around me were couples in love. There were student couples stealing secret hugs and kisses. There were teachers with their spouses holding hands and looking lovingly at each other. There were even young and old relatives of the students with their respective girlfriends, boyfriends, or spouses happily enjoying the day’s events with each other.
Looking at all these close couples drove a dagger into my heart. I thought I was over my girlfriend. I thought I’d cried my last tear.
Those familiar feelings of deep loss and the fact that I was still physically weak (recovering from pneumonia) was getting too hard to bear. Like a dark sheet floating down from the sky, an overwhelming sadness slowly draped itself over and around me.
I could feel my composure rapidly slipping away.
I felt so alone – even among the throngs of people at the stadium. I sorely missed everything that was good and tender (however fleeting it was) from the last relationship. I wasn’t sure if I could hold it together. I didn’t want to lose it in front of my friends, so I found the nearest alcove under a flight of stairs and squatted down in the darkness of the stair’s recess.
Alone with my thoughts, I pondered, “What lessons can I learn from this?”
1. Well, I guess I should congratulate myself. It’s only by being human and fully open to love that I can be vulnerable to heartbreak.
2. It takes time to recover from heartbreak. Sometimes recovery can feel complete, BUT only time can really tell.
3. Illness geometrically multiplies the emotional misery!
– THE MIRACLES BEGIN –
The combination of shade, cool breeze, and cold medicine was making it hard to stay awake. My eyelids were getting awfully heavy, so I decided to take a power nap.
Besides, it was better than wallowing in self-pity.
With my back against the cement wall under the stairs, I curled up into a ball, and started to drift off.
Then it happened…
…The cool breeze that had been blowing on my face and through my hair became noticeably weaker. The brightness of the sunlight visible through my eyelids disappeared. And I could sense a presence beside me – a deliciously perfumed presence.
At first I thought I was dreaming. I slowly opened my drowsy eyes and found myself face-to-face with the stunning Asian reporter!
Like me, she wanted a safe spot to take a little break from the hectic day and crowds of people.
“ Sawat dee kaa (Hello),” she said.
“ Kao tot na kraap. Phom mai khun Thai. Poot pasay Thai nit-noy (I’m sorry. I’m not Thai. I can only speak a little Thai),” I said.
“Oh, I thought you were Thai,” she said in PERFECT BRITISH ENGLISH.
“Same here. I thought you were Thai too. Hi, my name’s J.C.”
“Hi. My name’s Songsana. I’m a reporter with the News Crew from Vietnam.”
As I sat there talking to Songsana about everything under the sun, I realized I was living what I had written 6 months ago in my book “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor” – AGAIN.
In the book, one of the main characters is a woman just like Songsana. Both the book character and this real life woman are very rare indeed (Asian, English speaking, and English educated).
Both miraculously pop out of nowhere and into J.C.’s life (the book J.C. and real life J.C.).
Both women are friendly, classy, petite women with fair-skin, perfect figures, beaming smiles, and magnetic personalities.
Question upon question raced through my mind:
Out of the 70 million Thai citizens and tourists, what were the chances of two Thai-looking, English speaking foreigners meeting each other at this time, on this day, and in this place?
Out of the thousands of people attending this event, what were the chances of us even speaking to each other?
Out of all the places to rest in this sport stadium, why did Songsana choose the same place that I’d chosen?
Synchronicity or miracles? I don’t know. But what I did know was that we both spoke and related to each other as though we were long-time friends. It was so natural.
And it was exactly what I needed to restore my faith in everything (in myself, in life, in miracles, and in love).
We sat there and talked for as long as we could…
(In the next article in this series, “Experiences from ‘the Flow’ (3): LOST AND FOUND,” you will find the true life account of what happened next. The miracles continue. And it gets more and more coincidental, intriguing, and spontaneous.)
Until then, find “The Flow” and jump in!
Your Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,
Carl “J.C.” Pantejo
That's a rather abrupt way to end the story. What happened next?!