Stickman Readers' Submissions April 7th, 2008

An Escapade On Hong Kong Island

I have been going to Hong Kong for business since the takeover of July 97. Over the years I have sampled what is available for the nightlife and today I want to tell you about my escapades in HK Island, and especially the ones with a Thai flavour.

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HK people are quite nice, friendly and polite, although the throng can be rude in public transports, jostling their way like there is no tomorrow. But if you are looking for friendship, then you will quickly discover that HK society is a
very close one and that it is very difficult to be introduced into the inner circles of family and relatives.

One morning while I was having breakfast at my usual hotel, I went to speak with a French fifty something guy who was sitting next to me. He confided to me that in seventeen years of working as a civil engineer, designing these iron superstructures
that make up the skeleton of the skyscrapers, staying weeks in HK and going back to Paris on a regular basis, he didn't make any friends, not a single one!

Through the years I have been lucky to make a couple of friends, that are quite close, most of them being women. I have remarked that everywhere I have travelled, including USA and UK, women are always more interested in other cultures than
men and you guessed it, I'm for obvious reasons more interested in befriending a local woman than a man.

Time to time, an HK workmate wants to be nice to me, and he brings me to a good restaurant, to the hippest shopping mall – eating out and shopping being the favorite occupation of the locals when they are not working – or to some cosy bar
for a drink. But I'm getting bored very quickly as no other Konger seems willing to interact with me. I find myself being carried from place to place by my colleague; everything remains very formal and foreseeable.

Before focusing on the topic, I would like to end these remarks by saying that mainland Chinese people are a whole different story. They are indeed very friendly and funnier. I have been involved in some wild nights on several occasions,
Chinese style, with mainlanders whose only discernible interest was just to be friendly and to have fun. It is a pity that our separate busy lives don't allow us to easily meet again!


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So, if you are looking for entertainment western style, you have the choice between two interesting places on HK island: Lan Kwai Fong and the Wanchai district (Jaffe Road and Lockart Road), both being very famous as they have a long history.

Lan Kwai Fong is crowded by "good looking people". If you like the company of traders in expensive suits and shoes or well-off locals that can throw away in one night what us normal people would need months to earn, then this is
the right place for you.

If you prefer more basic fun, more naughty – you know what I mean – Wanchai may be for you.

There you have some rip-off joints with supposedly "erotic shows". You can spot them easily if you are not drunk as they have stunners in a mini-skirt and an old mamasan with claw-like fingers at the entrance which is usually concealed
by purple curtains. I would suggest you don't go there with your VISA / MASTERCARD card, unless you are in a financial suicidal mood and that a good cleaning is what you need to feel alive.

And you have bars and discos with quite a mixed crowd, depending of the day and the season: regular expats, business people attending some fair, local girls in groups of two or three that want to play the naughty girls but that will back
off really fast when things get too hot, Filipino / Thai / Indonesian nurses / housekeepers on a night out and working girls from all over the world.

Dusk Till Dawn is a bar with a Filipino live band. This place used to be one of my favorites. There you will meet every kind of girl, so don't make the mistake to assume that they are all there for the money. But not knowing in advance
what you will find makes the experience thrilling, doesn’t it?

Oh yes, some are just coming for the fun of partying or looking for a bit of action. This is because most are a long way from home, boyfriend or husband, and they may have an itching between the legs or a craving for cuddling that you may
be able to solve. I remember a very sweet Filipino nurse that was on her monthly night out… Heck, these countries, Thailand, Philippines, or even Indonesia, they must have factories who churn out these lovely sweet things as I can see no shortage
of them!

But Dusk Till Dawn seems on the decline since Spicy Fingers opened just ten meters away on the same street side of Jaffe Road.

Inside they have a terrific live band, both for vocals and play, which is supported by a very professional sound system. All the speakers are on each side of the scene and the mixing desk is at the far end of the bar, so the sound engineer
can do a very good job correctly balancing the instruments and singer. Comparatively, in Dusk Till Dawn they have put in the mixing desk behind the players which is plain silliness, and the bass speaker, which is on the floor in the middle of
the place, making things fall from your pockets or your zipper to open.

If you are not mesmerized by the Filipino looker that sings in Spicy Fingers then you are close to death as she is drop dead gorgeous by any standards.

If you come alone, the waitresses chat with you when they are not busy serving drinks in a very casual and friendly manner. The band starts at 10:30 pm, a forty-five minute performance which is a mix of hard rock, pop, reggae and blues standards,
but without "Hotel California" or "Mrs. Robinson", thank God! Instead I remember they did a very convincing “Heartbreaker”, just like Pat Benatar did it and an electrified version of the otherwise soporific “I
Shot the Sheriff".

So before hitting the more naughty places, I suggest Spicy Fingers as a good starter to chill out and grow a good party mood in a non-aggressive environment.

OK, now you are a little light-headed from the couple of drinks you took at Spicy Fingers, familiar tunes are rocking inside your head, the night is young, your wallet is still in a good shape and you have plenty of choice for what's
next on the agenda: Joe's Banana, Neptune II, Laguna, Fenwick…


Very close to Spicy Fingers, on the other side of the road, you have a bar with a small dance floor, Joe's Banana, the only one known by every taxi driver.

One hundred meters away on the same street, after having crossed Luard Road, you will find Neptune II, which is a disco with a huge bar.

These two places are typically pick-up places for Thai birds – birds of prey, birds of passage and birds of paradise – coming in three different feathers, for what I know.

Feathers n°1 is the full time freelancer, being HK resident for months, generally hard faced, with too many Heinekens around the waist and not from the first flush of youth. Besides pushing for drinks, some of them are bold enough to
grab you by the balls without prior warning while asking if you "want girl?" In this occasion you will have to think twice instead of blurting out a silly answer you may regret afterward.

If down there you are ready to explode and if you need to lower the pressure ASAP, these birds can do the job for 500 to 1500 HKD short-time.

Feathers n°2 is the Thai lady down on her luck. She generally comes to HK in a desperate attempt to pile up cash as fast as possible while others are looking for a possible farang husband as in Thailand with kids in tow and their 30th
birthday behind them they don't raise any interest from the local men who are anyway "not good".

For some of them, it is their first time out of Thailand, their first encounter with that awkward species that is the farang and the first time they will lay on their back for money.

Their English can range from non-existent to very good, depending of previous farang exposition, and often they are shy and demure. You will have to do the first move: a smile, a toast over the dance floor, a drink proposal…

In this feathers n°2 you have the 32 year old woman with 3 kids, the most recent addition to the family only 6 months old, and has just been dumped by her very responsible Thai husband. These ones can get serious with you very quickly
if they feel you are a heart to be taken. I would suggest you don't give them false hopes, they have had enough already in their life.

You have the 40 year old woman whose Bangkok based shop just bankrupted. She needs cash but as she has a big family in Bangkok she won't take the risk to be witnessed whoring in the red light districts.

You also have the car repair & tuning shop owner, a 44 year single old businesswoman who is so busy that she has no time for fun and sex in Thailand. Every time she needs a shag and funds to buy a new machine, or to pay the salaries of
her employees when the business is not good, she comes here.

You also have the newly divorced that left a child in Zurich with her previous Swiss husband, back where she started, prowling for a new victim.

I almost can see you frowning at the figures: 32, 40, 44… Fear nothing, these ladies have great bodies, they look ten years younger than their actual age and they know how to make a man happy.

Feathers n°3 has a special place in my heart. They are here not only for the money but also for the fun. Now, these girls really like making love and enjoy a touristic life in HK. They spend their newly earned HKD on fashion clothes,
they sail to Macau for gambling, or they go to some attraction parks – you may remember that Thais like to have sanuk.

They are in the 25 to 35 year old range, they have regular jobs back in Thailand but they have already been exposed to farangs.

N°2 and n°3 come from every part of Thailand, not only from Isaan, and you can meet a Thai-Chinese from Bangkok with fair skin, sleek hair and a slender beauty from Chiang Mai or a high cheek-boned, almond-eyed cutie from Korat.

If n°2s are quite picky, n°3s are a step further, but if you get one you will be the happiest man on earth. They won't bother you with sob stories, email address or phone numbers. They will do with you what normally happens
between a man and a woman who feel a mutual attraction, get some money in the process and that's it.

Feathers n°2 and n°3 will both giving you a realistic girlfriend experience.

You will walk hand in hand, kiss in the taxi, cuddle together while watching a movie, and be very attentive to each others needs. In no time they will iron for you, help you pack your bags, peel fruits and feed you like a baby.

As long as you stay close you will be in physical contact of some sort. And you will get these beaming, charming Thai smiles that will melt your heart and transport you to heaven.

After two or three days in the company of these lovelies, if you have to separate for any reason, going back home, travel to China for business, whatever, I guarantee you that you will miss them like hell and that you will need all your strength
to overcome this. Why go back to planet earth when you have been to heaven? Remember Scrat in Ice Age n°2?

These birds go for 2000 to 5000 HKD long time, depending on what you have to offer and on how good looking you are in their eyes. If you are only interested in having sex, not good looking (not neatly dressed, overweight – remember we farang
look like giants to them – stinking, lecherous bleary-eyed) they may ask 3000 HKD or more. If they are not willing to bargain then it is a strong signal that they do not find you attractive and it is better to move on.

These girls don't like silly or rude talk and worse among worse never speak of sex with them, otherwise they will reject you instantly. For this kind of behavior, go for n°1.

Remember, girls n°2 and n°3 like having fun, and basic jokes or a playful attitude will surely win their heart.

Attracting ladies is a trite topic, but discarding them is quite never tackled.

Upon entering Neptune II, you may have 100 pairs of eyes watching you, all eager to meet yours. If you look at a girl, she will smile. If you smile back she will take it as a "go further" signal. If you don't like her, don't
smile back and try to look through her or to her forehead.

If one comes to you with the usual "howareyou, wheredoyoucomefrom" drill and you don't like her, just answer "I'm OK" while looking somewhere else and move.

When you enter such a place, I advise that before ordering a drink you do a quick tour of the place, by quick I mean walking so fast that nobody can stop you, to check the talent. If the place is dead or full of skanks, leave.

Bringing up the topic of money in HK is critical. You need to do it before taking the plunge to avoid bad surprises, as we are talking usual figures here, but in HKD which is 5 times the Thailand baht. But you have to do it in a smart way.

Contrary to Thailand, these girls are under pressure in HK. They are cold most of the time, they can't speak or understand Cantonese, the oily local food makes them heave and they know that prostitution is not allowed.

Plain clothes policemen sometimes mix with the bar crowd and if the girl gets caught selling herself she is brought to jail for two days and later she is given two days to leave. These kind of random busts makes them feel very insecure, almost
paranoid, and the ones who witness it prefer to go back home before being told to. My take is that they feel like they are considered bad which they can’t accept. Even in your room she may not ask for her money but rather wait for you to
hand her the cash.

There are also the dreaded Chinese triads, not visible but always lurking in the dark ready to pounce on prey.

The ones very down on their luck spent their last savings on the air ticket, and once in HK they are horrified by the cost of living. So they share tiny rooms with three to five other girls and borrow money. Very often the girls have arguments
together and they can't sleep very well because of all the coming and going at all hours.

So when offering money the reaction may be sometimes of exaggerated wariness. Raise this topic in a funny and subtle way.

I have a few scenarios for that. In one I tell the girl with a very serious face that I have a very “big big problem” in my hotel room. They gave me a large bed and I feel so lonely in this huge cold bed, what can I do? Does
she have any idea? Would she help me solve this problem?

These girls have racing minds and this never fails to bring a knowing smile. Then I tell them that if they help me repair the bed, we may find 2000 HKD under the mattress that I will give them for their trouble.

N°3 will go long time for 1500-2000 HKD if they like you and if you propose to them a funny Sunday afternoon together going to Ngong Ping 360, Ocean Park or to some temple for praying to Buddha.

Of course you must bring them to one of the few local Thai restaurants to make them feel very comfortable and I recommend Lucky Thai Restaurant on Wanchai Road, near the CharterHouse Hotel, or the small one that is hidden at the back of the
Thai shop in the food market of Spring Garden Lane.

Also, it is better to have a room booked in a hotel close to Wanchai as they feel more secure to be close to their room and roommates.

I hope you have enjoyed this little escapade with a Thai touch in HK, that this information will be useful, and you won't disagree if I end in telling that there is nothing better than a Thai woman to bring some happiness in a man’s

Stickman's thoughts:

I have not been to Hong Kong for many years, a disappointment really as it is so convenient to get to and I really do like the place. The information that you have provided is excellent but I cannot help wonder about the local women. I am probably in the minority on this site but I personally find Chinese women – the better looking ones that is – more attractive than Thai women. So would anyone care to bring us up to speed on the Chinese women situation in Hong Kong?

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