Stickman Readers' Submissions March 24th, 2008

My Story – Part 2

Hi Again,

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Right, from my last piece you might remember that I was just in a taxi (800 baht) on my way to my hotel from Suvarnabhumi (this was, and still is – at the moment my first ever trip to Thailand) In a taxi, on my way to "They Key Bangkok"

Sukhumvit – My first night

"Wow, awful lot of people around the streets", I thought to myself as the taxi driver rambled on about BOOM BOOM and where I could find ladies just like the one in the porn flick he
decided to grace me with. It was about 5 PM when I finally arrived at the hotel. As soon as I opened the taxi door I felt that same heat wave fly straight through me. Seems I'd forgot the taxi had air con, not much need for it in "tropical"

I entered the hotel and the reception seemed terribly small. Nice but small. I walked up to the reception area where there was a very cute young thing, chatting away on the phone. I said I was here to check-in and showed her my printed hotel receipt.
She looked at my papers and asked for my passport etc, which I gave to her. She then asked me to sit down for a minute while she sorted the paperwork. I remember sitting down on a nice leather sofa, watching another couple walk into the hotel.
They were checking in too. After about 5 minutes she called my name and I went up to the desk. "Here your key sir, have good stay."

I took the lift up to my floor and walked to the end of the corridor. When I entered the room I smelt a lovely smell of what seemed to be lavender. Nice smell. I glanced over the room and it did seem a little small (approx 30 square metres) but was very
tastefully decorated, very nice. I think this place must be frequented by Japanese; it had that type of style to it. I threw my suitcase on the bed, turned the air con on and decided to unpack my bags. Now, I straighten my hair most days to get
the messy straight look (my hair is like a sheep's wool otherwise) so took out the hair straighteners so that I could straighten my hair before venturing out into the mad streets of BKK. I took them out of the suitcase and went to plug them


Obviously the sockets don't match our English counterparts. Idiot! Of course they don't. I hadn't even thought about it, and I had half of my local electronic store in my suitcase… Phone, laptop, straightners, iPOD, PSP,
battery chargers etc etc.

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I wanted to sort this out quickly… especially since by battery on my phone was nearly dead too so I walked down to reception and as I approached the desk the cute one from earlier, beat me to the punch.

"Hey, you ok, I help you?"


I needed a plug converter for my electronic devices but ended up saying something along the lines of…

"Need plug (while waving hands in an in & out motion), wall, plug socket, English plug socket, wall".

Was I talking to a child? No. She probably would have understood just fine if I explained slowly what I wanted, instead of some broken babyish.

She seemed to understand me and said I should go down the street. "Go right, not far."

I walked out of the hotel and turned right. I could see at the end of the road there was a build up of stalls, so walked towards that. About 50m from my hotel I had to wipe the sweat from my brow. Damn this heat!

As I approached the stalls I noticed that the path through them was very narrow (maybe 6 feet wide) and it seemed like half of Bangkok was walking through it. I started to wade through the mob and after about 10 meters I suddenly had a 6th
(Spiderman) sense and stopped dead in my tracks.

Laying face down on the floor was a man, my foot about 5 inches from his head. What's this guy playing at? He was about 0.3 of a second from getting my size 11s in his face. As I glanced over him I noticed he had his arm out. I say arm
because he only had one. I glanced further over him and noticed he also had no legs. Now, I've seen a lot of bad things in my time but that just made me feel really bad. People were all walking round him and most seemed to not even notice
he was there. He had is arm out and in his hand was a little pot for passers by to empty their pockets into. Poor git.

A further 10 metres up I noticed what looked like a DIY shop / stall, selling bits & bobs. I stopped and asked the guy in the shop "you have plug socket, English?"

He quickly replied "yes have, 100 baht."

Now I don’t know if I got ripped off here because it was the only one I ever bought in Thailand. I looked at it, looked ok to me, and so turned back to the hotel, passed the receptionist who had a little smile on her face and then
back to my room.

As I walked through my hotel room door I felt a very cold chill…(air con), I then leant over to put the plug converter into the socket and noticed water running onto the floor. What the f*&k. ?

I looked into the mirror and…I was totally soaked through. My hair was wet, my face was wet, my clothes looked soaking and they stuck to me like "white on rice". That’s what the receptionist was laughing at, I'd only
been out of the hotel for about 8 minutes and I came back looking like I'd been out on the streets during Songkran. Shower time!

I had a feeling that the heat was going to annoy me a lot during this holiday. As it turned out, I got used to it in about 4-5 days.


About 2-3 weeks before I came to Thailand I got talking to a Thai girl (we'll call her “Bee”) over the Internet. I found her on Faceparty / Facebook / Myspace. Not a dating site, just a normal friendship
site. We talked quite a bit and I was asking her lots of questions about LOS, trying to find out what it was like etc etc. She works for Yamaha in BKK as an engineer (manager actually) and she is my age, 25. I know this is true because she has
a webcam at work and sends emails using the work email address. She is what many would call a "good girl". I don’t really care for such terms but they seem to be thrown about a lot around here.

Anyway, I'd been talking to her for a few weeks before and told her I would give her a call once I got into BKK. I thought she could show me around, tell me what’s what. I was alone and half way across the world after all.

So, after my well needed shower (yes, we are still on my first day – but it speeds up from here on out as my alcohol intake has blanked half my memory), I called her.

"Hey Bee, it's me. I'm here in The Key Bangkok Hotel. I just arrived."

Sawadee Ka" she said. (I don't know what it is about the word "Ka" – but I really like the way the girls say it). "Where is your hotel, I'll come pick you up and we'll go out naa ka."

I thought to myself, good question… where is this hotel, where am I? I grabbed a small hotel card which I took from reception when I was checking in and told her "Sukhumvit soi 19" (This had no meaning to me at the time but it
so happened I was a stone's throw away from some great shopping centres, including Robinsons & Emporium. Even better than this was the fact that I was about 4 minutes walk from some place called "Soi Cowboy."

She said I was close to the Emporium and that I should get a taxi and meet her there instead. I told her I'd be there in 30 minutes or so and would call her once I arrived. Outside my hotel, on the street, a tuktuk stopped in front of

"Where you go?"

"Emporium" I said…

"Ok, I take you, 30 baht."

The tuktuks are strange contraptions. I don't think they would be legal in England, not with all those fumes and that dreadful noise it makes. But it was fun none-the-less.

About 2 minutes later he stopped. I was there already. Cool.

I jumped out and paid the man for his service. Outside the Emporium I sat down on a side wall and looked at my phone to get the time. "Sh1t" I told Bee I would meet her in 30 minutes. This was 5 minutes ago. So I waited and smoked
about 4 cigarettes. Nervous? A little.

She arrived about 40 minutes later, as soon as she got in sight I recognised her from her pictures and stood up to greet her.

Bee was the typical Thai girl. 5'4, 105 lbs, straight black hair, nice skin. She is half Thai / half Chinese, so was paler than the Isaan kind of girl. Although, if she had been from Isaan it would have made no difference as I think
they are as stunning as all the other Thais (as you'll find out later).

No hugs, no handshakes, just a "Hi".

We walked inside the Emporium and chatted away. Her command of English was fantastic. She said her parents made her learn at school and also studied it at Uni. After about 20 minutes I had a feeling that she wasn't interested in anything
sexual with me. It wasn't a problem for me as I'd just met her, but as you'll find out later, seems I wasn't entirely correct in my assumption.

I didn't know at the time but normal Thai girls aren't very forward, in fact they can seem a little backwards when compared to the sexual presence of the Thai "bar girl".

I suggested that we go somewhere else to have a quick drink (alcoholic) and asked her where we could go. She said she had work in the morning so couldn't get drunk but sure we could go somewhere for 1. I told her that I wanted to see
what all the rave was about with regards to Bangkok being a big prostitute zone. She laughed and said that there was one in Soi 4 (Nana) one in Silom (Patpong) and one in Soi 24 (Soi cowboy). She then mentioned that it was about 2 minutes from
my hotel. Bingo! <She knows more than one would expect for a girl not involved in the industry!Stick>

"Let's go to Soi Cowboy”, I just want to see it, I don't want to go into the bars."

This was mostly true as I'd never seen bars of this sort and never had any dealings with prostitutes. I certainly wouldn't go with one (or so I thought). I couldn't understand how men could walk around in public with whores.

Bee laughed again and we took a taxi to Soi Cowboy. As we approached the entrance to the alley I could hear all the loud music and flashing lights. We sat down right on the end of the soi (we never really entered it) and ordered a drink.
We sat and talked for maybe 30 minutes and then the elephant came, scared me half to death as it came from behind and put its trunk right in front of my face. I never knew elephants walked the streets of Bangkok. I felt bad for the beast but decided
the only thing I could do to help would be to pay the mahout 20 baht and feed it. So I did. I also took a quick picture.

Roughly 40 minutes later she said she had to go and that she would text me tomorrow after work. I said yeah sure, so we got into a taxi back to my hotel, where she dropped me off, thanked me for meeting her and carried on home.

As I said, I was sure she wasn't interested (I can usually tell with girls, well, English ones).

So there I was sitting in my hotel room, It was about 9:00 PM and I thought to myself… what am I going to do now… ? The answer was… Soi Cowboy!


I made sure I remembered the way (from the taxi ride before) back to Soi Cowboy. It was literally a 5 minute walk from my hotel. As I entered the street I could see the sea of girls standing outside the bars, some
holding small billboards with prices, some sitting and eating at tables but most were talking amongst themselves or shouting at all the male passers by to “come inside”. As I soon as I walked passed the first bar it started.

"Hey you, sexy man, bai nai ka, bai duay, come inside, pleeease mister handsome, come."

All I could do was smile and walk past. A few of the girls would stop directly in front of me and smile sweetly. "Come inside, I take care you."

Some of these girls were absolutely gorgeous, wearing all different types of bright, colourful outfits and I found it really hard to walk past their tight little bodies. But I did.

About half way down the road I noticed a big sign "Dollhouse". I remembered this name from somewhere; it must have been on the Internet one time. I knew nothing about it but saying the name over and over again to myself I was sure
I'd heard this before. Some girls were sitting outside and obviously as soon I got near the place the sexy little hoe's jumped me. "Come inside, we take care you."

"Ok", I said.

As I entered through the curtain I noticed the sound of loud pumping R&B music. My kind of stuff.

I’m through the curtains and then the floor opened up. There stood an elongated, irregular shaped stage area with about 8 girls on top, dancing round poles. WOW! Most of these girls were stunning, I don’t know if I caught this
place on a good month but I didn't see ANY ugly girls dancing here. Sure, some were better than others and the waitresses weren't all that… but the dancers were amazing, not 1 single girl with an inch of fat on her. They were wearing
tiny white / blue (see through) belt like mini skirts (which glowed under the fluorescent lights) and matching bikini tops. Note – some of these girls had taken their bikini tops off.

I was able to get these pictures because I got quite friendly with some of the girls in Dollhouse and also the American co-owner. I won’t name drop him so we’ll just call him “D”. Those of you who may know him
will understand why I’ve named him D.

The stage area was in the middle of the bar with stools all around the bottom, then more comfortable leather sofa / bench type things around the outer rim, slightly elevated from the other stools around the stage. I gestured I'd like to sit up there
and the waitress sat me down, asked me what I wanted to drink (Vodka – coke) and off she went to get it. What I'll always remember about this moment was how as soon as I sat down and finished talking to the waitress and actually looked at
the girls…they were ALL looking at me. Not just the ones on the stage, but others girls who were sitting with customers. I thought to myself…hold on a minute, have I got something on my face?

It maybe lasted for about 5 seconds before I broke their gaze and looked away. Perhaps it was my new face, perhaps the clothes I was wearing (I did dress to impress that night) or perhaps even well. Who knows.

I could see from the start that I would have fun in this place.

This being my first night I wanted to have a good one. After my first drink I asked one of the waitresses if I could have a look at the Champagne they served. She told me that they were upstairs in the fridge and that I'd have to go up and have a
look. I walked to the top of the stairs and there was another area (smaller than downstairs) with a few tables and small bar. You could actually see the other girls dancing around the pole from up here and as I had a quick glance at them I noticed
there was nobody else up here, even at the bar. I walked over to the fridge behind the bar and glanced at the selection of big bottles of Champaign. There were no prices, so I turned to go back down-stairs and as I turned around I saw this beautiful
tall (by Thai standards – maybe 5'6 girl with straight chocolate coloured hair with lighter streaks in it. It obviously wasn't her natural colour but it looked good. She had this amazing big smile and big round-ish eyes.

She then waied to me. It was the first time anybody did this to me in Thailand (besides the air hostesses on the plane) and I returned the action to her. I hear that it's not usual to wai to people of lower status (especially
hookers) but it's what they do, and I wouldn't want to be rude to anybody, in fact, if a dog waied me I would return it. I told her that I wanted Champagne but didn't know how much it cost. I said I wanted the best one
they had and she then said she would be back in a minute with someone to help me. She returned about 2 minutes later with a well rounded older woman who I later found out was the DJ and general helper. She explained that the one I wanted was 2,500
baht. For some reason I decided I could get a better price and did my first bit of bargaining in LOS. As we were discussing the price we were in close proximity to one another and she commented on how good I smelled, putting her nose to my shirt
and taking a big deep breath. I then quickly said. "2,000 baht". She smiled and agreed. <It should be noted that Champagne, that is real Champagne and not merely a bottle of Australian sparkling, is VERY expensive in Bangkok. For example, a bottle of Chandon Moet retails in a wine shop for around 3,000 baht. In a bar or restaurant you can multiply that by at least twoStick>

I walked back downstairs and she followed me, bottle in-hand. I sat back down in my place and the lady put the bottle in-front of me and went to get me a glass. I then noticed a group of 4 or 5 dancers sitting directly opposite me about 5
metres away. They were whispering something to each other and looking my way. After looking back for a minute I noticed that one of them was the girl from upstairs and that she was leading whatever conversation it was that they were having. The
chubby DJ lady from upstairs then come back to my seat and placed a glass on the table. She opened the bottle and the cork made a loud noise as it popped off. Loud enough to be heard even over the music. I felt a little embarrassed as everyone
looked again. I could feel the other customers looking at me and thinking to themselves… twat!

The lady from upstairs finished pouring my drink and walked away. Stood right behind her was the dancer with the brown chocolate hair, that amazing smile, smiling at me. She asked if she could sit down and of course I said yes. We'll
call her Nana. She was half Thai / half Vietnamese If I remember correctly. She was about 22, I don’t remember to be honest.

Nana's English wasn't the best but It seemed to get easier to understand each other the more drinks we had. I bought her 5 or 6 lady drinks and every 20 minutes or so she would apologise and say she had to go and dance but would
be back. She did, every time. Twice I noticed that when she was coming down off the poles or coming back with a drink for me, guys would stop her, say something, she would shake her head and point in my direction. Seems she only had one target
that night. I also found out later that Nana rarely ever went with Farang and that she was the number 1 target in this club, for Japanese guys. They were also her main target. I suppose they pay better. Nana actually spoke pretty good Japanese

After what seemed like an hour I looked at my phone and discovered it was 1:30 AM. I said that I would need to leave soon and Nana then asked if she could come with me. I paid for our drinks and then agreed to take her with me. She then said
she would be back in 5 minutes as she had to go and change her clothes. As she walked away she shouted something in Thai and all of a sudden about 6 girls all started shouting out "WOOOOOOO". Nana then briskly walked up the stairs, followed
by 3 or 4 girls. I went bright red (lucky it was dark) and waited for her to come back. I didn't look at the other girls who were dancing because I already knew they were looking at me.

It then dawned on me what I had just done, or was about to do. I was about to pay for a prostitute and get my "jig" on. Let it be known that I would never ever touch a prostitute in any other country and the thought of ever paying
for 1 had never entered my mind. I felt a bit seedy but this just seemed different. It seemed like I met her in a club, we talked, had fun, got drunk together and then were going back to mine. Similar things have happen at home in England. It
just seemed like a date – which is why these girls are so good at their job.

I think it was also an easier decision to make by the fact that I never chose Nana. She chose me!

I couldn't bare the thought of choosing a girl who didn't really like me and making her have sex with me. It’s just not my style.

I'm pretty good at reading body language and if I ever thought any of the girls I was about to sleep with were really not keen on it then I wouldn't continue. This goes for all the tales you will hear from me during this first trip
to Thailand.

I have no idea how all these girls go back to these guys’ hotels, especially when they are 50 plus, bald, fat and / or hairy. But this wasn’t my home, who was I to say what these girls should do.

Back at the hotel we go to my room and Nana is impressed by the décor, must be a Japanese thing. We both shower and she waits for me in bed. I won't go into anymore detail than too say we both had a really fun night that night.
There isn't a girl on earth that can fake those reactions. Perhaps she found the 8 inches I gave her a little “new”. I've heard stories about Japanese guys. 😉

The next day we slept until maybe 2:00 PM. When we woke up we both showered. I asked if Nana wanted to go and she said no she would like to hang around for a while. "Fairy nuff" 🙂

We watched TV until about 4:00 PM and I remember laying there thinking that I’ve just had the perfect start to this holiday. Nana lay down too, content to just be around me I suppose. (Guess her Thai boyfriend was out of town?) Ha-ha.

I had a big smile on my face and as we lay there and I remember thinking (again) that this was the perfect start to my holiday. I was on cloud 9 and absolutely nothing could take that away from me.

Then my hotel telephone rang. Nana glanced over at me.

I thought it was a bit odd as nobody on the planet knew where I was. Not even my family. I answered it and it was reception.

"Lady down here, she waiting for you"

"Lady, what lady, who?"

"Her name is Bee"


Stickman's thoughts:

It is fun to see the whole scene through the eyes of a first timer again. The magic of the first trip is very hard to recapture and is therefore experienced over and over through the eyes of Thailand virgins.

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