Readers' Submissions

My Pattaya

  • Written by Curbie
  • March 6th, 2008
  • 8 min read



A bit akin to “thank you for taking my call” I hate to say it but if this becomes a contribution it is my first and way over due. Stick will hate my provincial and slangish English but oh well.

It is really the small things that make one laugh. As I read Stickman’s writers rules, the one that got to me was “changing the names to protect the innocent”. Now that is funny! Not only are there few (if any) innocent and who would know if a writer is referring to their “Noi”, “Nok”, “Pim”, or “Porn” (my favorite!) or anyone of a few (hundred?) thousand Isaan beauty queens sharing nicknames with their “sisters”.

Just returned from an awesome trip to LOS. It was a rather spontaneous trip due to being fairly hammered one cold night and looking into making a trip using air miles. Next thing I know there is an email concerning my itinerary… hum thought that was a dream… Now it is a dream reality…he he he. Anyone wishing to donate miles to my cause please feel free…LOL.

Well off from the great Northwest of the USA (love it or hate it… lol). Transited through San Francisco, then off to Narita, and lastly the crown jewel, Bangkok. Hit Bangkok on a Sunday night about midnight and took a cab directly to almost ground zero (got a place near enough).

Straight to Nana after a quick check in but was a bit disappointed that evening as it was fairly quiet and dark. Decided to call it an early evening and went home alone. Blame it on jet lag, the 30 drinks, or make one up but I definitely made up for time later.

Next day took off to MBK to get set up on a cell phone. I highly recommend one even to the short term traveler and it has saved me more money that it has cost. In fact that night a sweet thing out of **** chatted me up and wanted to get barfined. “How much?” “800 baht barfine, 2000 short time for me”. Said “mai dee” (can not) but we swapped phone numbers and she asks when I see you again.

Well being fairly buzzed and not too concerned I said maybe 1 hour, “call me”… Sure enough 1 hour we are dining and after a bit of chatting off to my hotel. We get into the room and this gal basically let me know if I wanted to boom boom it was going to cost me the 2000 baht. Not so much a cheapster but it hit me odd so we just slept that night. The next morning I am totally enjoying stroking this sweet thing and watching her sleep. Next thing she rolls over slips off her panties and says “you want to play with me”, still no boom boom but an experience I will take to my death bed.

Interesting gal because she was my most regular sleepover mate but we never did the deed. Hot body and it was a pleasure to hang with her, never really bought her much, just food and taxi. Listened to her which she really liked, as so many of us and this girl we all have things we want to talk about. Company with a friend is usually better than sex with a stranger (but I question some of my male friend’s opinion on this…lol).

We have emailed a bit since the trip and as a good friend said “it keeps the dream alive”. She was a cutie and I will definitely see her again on my return.

Pattaya1

Trip was off the charts. Met several really cool people I will stay in touch with. Heading down to Pattaya I met up with a gent from Scotland on the baht bus into town. Not knowing where I would stay we chatted it up a bit and I ended going to his hotel. Nice place very close to what I call the Isaan triangle (where all the gals get their food, includes Marine Disco).

Naturally it's more fun trawling with company so we head out to find some serious fun. We end up in a well known gogo bar. I will not mention its name but seems to have some of the tallest gals of amazing proportion. No they are not conversion units. It also specializes in scrubby shows in the hot tub which we conveniently seated directly in front. Got it now?

Well I was checking the staff for a newbie or at least something fun and noticed this gal practically hiding behind a post. Asked our waitress about her and she gets her right over. Very, Very cute gal and did not speak a word of English (or so the story goes…). The waitress is a good sport and taking a liking to my friend so this is starting to look like a take out.

Well turns out the waitress had never been barfined, think it was related to having about twice as many teeth as a mouth is designed for…lol. I probably would not have believed the ‘no bar fine” story except the entire bar went insane when the word got out she was heading out with a customer.

Well we grabbed two gals out of a gogo club. The waitress who spoke better English said the other was a newbie out of Bangkok… 'only working' because he mom has cancer. I just listen to the story and move on… (I taking the newbie) I’ve heard too many stories to take anything as real.

We take them out to eat (we needed it more) and went to Marine seafood plaza. Stupid us but we kept pointing and asking about a few items on the menu. Thought we picked out about 4-5 but then the food started coming and almost never stopped coming.

Well we both of us realized that every time we had pointed at an item the waiter just added it to our order. Imagine almost everything seafood and/or Thai and we had it… Full fish on boiler plate, Tom Yum Plai, fried rice, curry, stirred veggies, … I can not remember everything. Being Thailand you know there is no sending anything back, just lay back and enjoy the mistake.

Well add all this food to the 4 drinks we had and I expected some serious damage. Bill arrives and I try to grab it… No way Scotsman insists and grabs it. 'ok I said but how much?" 1200B… It could have been 4000B and I would have paid it.

Well off to the rooms, Scotsman and I are two doors apart so we are joking about a swap in a few…lol

Once in the room my gal starts speaking a little more English… 'you want short time (or) longtime?) I just said you stay all night. Can see immediately that she starts a pout. 'okay what you want?' 'short time'… Okay.

Did the nasty and she does a shower, comes out and I hand her 1000B plus a couple of 20's for taxi… She goes off 'you pay me 2000B' with a far too serious look. I am thinking this could be bad. Well Mr. Curbie always keeps two wallets, one big money, and the other just some small stuff. Pulled out the small one and said “I don't have…” showed her 450B and asked if I could keep some for breakfast… too funny you should have seem the look on her face. Offered to get some more money in the morning…lol. Well she takes another couple of hundred baht and off she goes. <Straight back to the boyfriend / husband!Stick>

Pattaya 2

Basically the Scotsman and I were out again dropping in and out of bars checking out the talent. Popped into a smaller place and really had a shock, oh the poverty… not a single girl could afford panties. Thank the lord I seem to be placed on this planet to help needy girls one or two at a time.

We were having a fine time and I was enjoying the warmth of a particular beauty (#19) that truly seemed to enjoy being parked between my legs. Well after about 20 minutes of “close” contact we were ready to head out. Handed her a couple hundred baht and she was so pleased I almost fell over.

Came back the next night just to see if that same feeling was there. Well Ms#19 was sitting with another gent. Mamasan came over and saw me looking at her “said you like?” “yes but she with man” in about ½ of a second I swear mamasan pick her up and set her on my lap. I reminded me of a moving a sleeping pet, she just picked up where she was before… incredible.

Shows treating mamasans well has the best payoff, those older gals love getting a little attention. Take some time and tell them “only you” when they try to hook you up with a gal. A lady drink for them is a real treat and most of the gals will not only think you are nice but might think your close enough to mamasan to F*-with

To those that read to the end, thank you for your patience. It’s a bit rambling but a few experiences I wanted to share.

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

It's hard not to have fun in Pattaya.