Readers' Submissions

Let’s Talk About Sex…Again





In an earlier submission, “Let’s talk about sex”, I wrote about the economic impact that the P4P world has for Thailand. Now I’d like to share some thoughts on the young ladies who, love them or loathe them, definitely turn our heads.. Obvious this is completely subjective evaluation. No universal truths are implied, only my own humble opinion.

Sex is good. (Well maybe just a few universal truths are in order!) Most of us want as much of it as we can get. Here in the Land of Smiles there is almost unlimited opportunity to get as much “loving” as you care for…if you’re prepared to pay for it. Like it or not, in Thailand as in every other place on the planet, THERE AIN’T NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH! Okay, I have no problem with that. Throughout our entire lives we constantly pay for professional services. We don’t balk at paying our doctors, dentists, lawyers, accountants, auto mechanics, plumbers, electricians, gardeners, and dry cleaners. We pay taxi drivers to take us where we want to go, restaurants and bars for providing us with food and drink, hairdressers for coiffing our locks, and the list goes on and on. We happily pay money for exchange for professional services rendered. In most cases we consider the people who provide these services to be essential members of society. So why then do we call women who provide sex in exchange for money whores? Why do so many people look down their noses at those who provide such a vital service?

I for one propose that these ladies (well at least the ones who are not cold, black-hearted bitches) be put on a pedestal and worshiped as goddesses! I think most men would agree that it’s a much finer world we live in, having them in it. The best of them do a better job “cleaning our pipes” than any plumber!

There is of course a wide range of girls plying the trade. Many out here, provide the bare minimum standard of service. Let’s rule out the true connivers who will lie and cheat without compunction to separate you from your money, while providing almost nothing in return. Let’s forget about the “hotties” that magically morph into “starfish” once back in your hotel room. Let’s instead restrict ourselves to true professionals. Yes there actually are many girls out there who do provide what they’ve promised, in exchange for a monetary payment.

Some of course are much better than others in terms of their skill level. Yes I do mean skills. Hey look at it from their perspective. Many of us are well past our prime. I certainly am no Tom Cruise, though I modestly say that I’m not bad looking. Can you imagine what it must be like to have sex with some fat, hideously ugly guy with bad breath, who is falling down drunk. Oh and add obnoxious as well! Yes, they are getting paid for it, often well paid, but my God, in many cases it can’t exactly be a pleasant experience for these girls. Yet many are such skillful actresses that not only do you walk (or limp) away satisfied, but with the coveted “Girl Friend Experience”.

The GFE is about more than just sex. It involves the emotions more than the intellect. In fact, the intellect is often the hindrance to such an experience. Let me give an analogy to help explain what I mean. Some people can go to see a blockbuster action movie, and instead of sitting back enjoying the show, are caught up in analysis. At every fantastic twist and turn, at every seemingly impossible stunt sequence will constantly tell you why “that can’t possibly happen like that!” The English poet Coleridge once wrote about “the willing suspension of disbelief” that is necessary to enter the world of fantasy. Just for that time you must put your intellect to one side and just enjoy! The same is true in the GFE. It’s not that you suddenly become an idiot and believe that this is reality. That can only lead to disaster. You know that the girl you are with doesn’t really love you, but while you accept the illusion that is being spun around you as a pleasurable though temporary phenomenon. In other words: You keep your head in the clouds while your feet are firmly planted on the ground!

Many of you have a cordial relationship with all the other professionals in your life. I have become good friends with my hairdresser, plumber, electrician etc. We chat about what’s going on in each other’s lives, enquire about each other’s families and exchange holiday cards and gifts. Just because money is being exchanged doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly, if not close friends. The same is true in the P4P world, without being taken for a sucker!

Now I can’t talk about true professionalism without mentioning the Eden Club. True, it’s not everybody’s cup of tea, but here is a beloved institution that delivers exactly what it promises. There is no B.S., no false promises, only girls who give 110% to please. Where else in Bangkok (or the world for that matter!) is there a place that offers a money back guarantee! If you are not completely satisfied, you don’t pay. The girls who work there are not only physically adept at what they do, but also accomplished in providing that GFE experience. While you are there, you truly enter a fantasy world, and when you leave, it is with a smile on your face. I am even less of a poet than I am a writer, but I would like to end this with a poem I wrote in praise of the Eden Girls.

Twinkle twinkle my Thai starfish,
How I wonder what you wish.
As you gaze with haughty stare,
Your “Hi-So” nose turned in the air.
Do you think it fair or funny,
You take my cash, but give no honey.

In the bar you promised much,
Your goddess body mine to touch.
Your bedroom eyes, seductive stare,
Made me made me think that you do care.

Upon the bed you lay like stone,
Uttering not a single moan.
Playing with your mobile phone
“Me so tired, I go home?”

I try to kiss your tempting lips
You push away, “how much my tip?”
“You say you want to me to lick it here?”
“You want to put it in inside where?”

“I don’t do that you crazy man!”
She grabs her purse and starts to stand.
I protest, you said “long time?”
You’re no sweet angel divine.

And as she struts into the night,
Her sweet, sweet butt wiggling tight.
She turns and having done her chore,
Says tomorrow night? I love you more?

Frustrated, lonely and a fool,
I made myself a willing tool.
For false beauty’s deception I gave way
To what my heart and head did say.

All that glitters is not gold,
That I had often heard before.
But having suffered this heart ache,
The same mistake I’ll never make.

In any future love life sequel,
I know that Bar Girls are not equal.
I now proclaim to all the world,
The finest are the Eden girls!

Stickman's thoughts:

I had to laugh to myself… The Eden Club sure does funny things to some guys!