27 Years Old But Not Lost In LOS
I have been working in LOS since March 2004. I am a 27 year old guy, just like Koen who wrote the submission "Moving To Thailand Before You’re 30".
How have I ended up here? I've found a job in Thailand. I started with only 12K a month. I can tell you that it was quite difficult but that taught me a lot. Currently I am in a much more comfortable situation (more than 6 times the basic English teacher salary). To get this I actually have to work 78 hours per week. But as my friends say, "chewit tong su!" (you've gotta work hard in your life).
I have made the same mistake as many. I started with bargirls. I must say that yes, my first girlfriend here was a bargirl… Fortunately back then I didn't have much money.
I had all the experiences a whore chaser could have, Walking Street, Pattayaland, Soi 6, Soi Post Office, Patong, Cowboy, Patpong, Nana, Thermae, Soi 33, Thaniya, Chao Praya 3…
I also had my Thai middle class experiences in Ratchadapisek soi 4, RCA, Hollywood Pattaya, Differ Pattaya.
Then I also had my Thai high-so experiences in Tong Lor, Pegasus (lucky member), and recently Soprano.
I got quickly fed up by the bar scene (not really the kind of girl my parents would be happy to see me with). I can say that I even used to have a "gig kathoey” for a short while (she is currently working at Tiffany), although I am not really proud of it, I wanted to have this experience…
Like Koen, I had some bad experiences with girls. I was drugged in a coyote bar for Thais in Pattaya. I really don't know how I did that but when I woke up, I was in the room of a massage parlor with a girl next to me and none of my stuff was missing. "Chok dee mak loey". So actually, the girl in the bar drugged me. But I left the bar before I passed out, I went to this massage parlor, I chose a girl and went upstairs with her… I didn't know I could do all this while being drugged…
Back to the submission.
I've quickly realized that it is really easy to lose your mind here in LOS. If you want survive here in Thailand, just never forget the basic things your parents taught you. That's easy. Do not date girls that you wouldn't date back in your country. Be careful about strangers… Especially in LOS… Especially farangs actually. Do not make friends with someone you wouldn't make friends with in your own country. I saw so many strange foreigners, especially in Pattaya. In my country, I have never ever seen any guys with tattoos on their face… How can they get a job?
Even some foreigners who at first seem to be normal guys will eventually try to "borrow" money from you before trying to bring you down.
After a while, I started dating "good" girls, waitresses, office girls, receptionists, PR, lawyers, students (started with Ramkhamhaeng of course, then Bangkok University, then Assumption, then Chulalongkorn and Thammasat).
About Thai girls, I must say that I know them quite well now. The fact that I was born a light-skinned Asian (I am not a farang) and that I can speak, read and write Thai almost fluently helped me a lot. I know exactly what a cute girl is for them, a beautiful girl, an old girl, an ugly girl.
I also know how Thai people are racist. Real Bangkokian girls will always make fun of "baan nok" people.
I might annoy some readers here but, the girls that really attract Thais (from Bangkok) will never be reachable by farangs (however I do know a few exceptions).
Most farangs in Thailand will end up with a poor Isaan girl, or a poor girl from the south, or a poor girl from the north. Some farangs might get a bit better and find a wealthy woman. This woman for sure won't be a girl from Bangkok, she will be over 30 and not a virgin anymore => they can't reach the Thai men they want anymore so they've resigned themselves to date farangs.
Sorry to say that but this is the truth. I do like those girls though, but as friends… I won't make any of these girls my girlfriend or wife because this type of girl is available to anyone (even the most ugly, bald, fat and stinky guy). You couldn't have any interesting conversation due to the education gap. They will never enjoy farang food (don't make a fool of yourself by bringing your girlfriend to an expensive restaurant as they will always prefer som tam to foie gras and the waiters will laugh at you). You can't bring them everywhere (in a museum, they will get bored, in classy places they won't fit…) and they will always be looked down on by other Thai people. Some farang acquaintances of mine know that. Some pretend they prefer girls like this, or that they chose this but in fact, they don't have the choice anyway.
Even so, I must say that Thais from Isaan, the North and the South are indispensable to the country, historically and economically. I have a lot of respect for Isaan people who try their best to survive, who do jobs that no one else will do, and who keep smiling and enjoying their lives. I respect the maid who wakes up every morning, works hard and keeps smiling even if she gets only 4,000 baht a month. The country would be dead without them.
My current girlfriend is a really beautiful (Thai standards) girl, classy, cute thin face, slim, tall, really white skin, long hair, born in Bangkok and from a quite wealthy Thai Chinese family. A Thai friend of mine introduced her to me. During our first dates, she of course came with some friends of hers.
The first time I came to pick them up at their house, I even had to go inside to wai their mother who asked me many questions in Thai about what do I do in Thailand, why don't I go back to my country… I'll remember those 10 minutes for a long time.
Even if I’ve said that farangs will never get those kind of girls, I must say that it is really, really difficult to get a girl like this, especially if you don't speak a word of Thai. It took me almost 6 months before being really close with my girlfriend. By the way, educated girls from a good family can often speak English well but they will never speak English with you <Complete and utter crap! Many Thais of ALL social standings welcome the opportunity to practice English with a native speaker – Stick> You are not in your country, so you have to make the effort to learn the language and to show interest in the culture if you want to be accepted. It is the same in every country.
She offers many times to pay for some things like restaurants, drinks, or even cars or condos, I pay anyway. The money of the women will cost you a lot…
The more expensive girls are the ones that offer to go with you for free.
I did experience some exceptions though.
One day I was in a dance club in Bangkok and I sympathized with one of the PR, a 30 year old woman, good looking and really nice body. Around 2 o'clock in the morning, the club was closing and she told me in Thai that she would like to spend the night together… I tried my best to not be surprised when she told me she would offer me 3000 baht to sleep with her.
As a new experience, it was quite exciting for me so I accepted. She brought me to a nice apartment and I started to do what I had to do. Unfortunately, after 2 bottles of black, I was really drunk and tired so I couldn't finish the job… Shame on me… Anyway, in the morning, I woke up alone, and a thousand baht note was waiting for me on the pillow. Strange experience which I probably won't do again and I won't go back to this club either…
I had another similar experience in Pattaya. However, the woman was from Netherlands. She thought I was Thai and she was 35. You know what a 35 year old farang woman looks like… So I kindly denied.
Back to the submission.
I really think that one of the best ways not to lose your mind in LOS is to have a decent job. I can't party every night or drink alcohol all day as must come at work every morning <You come at work? My, my, you are a clever boy – Stick> and must be fresh enough to accomplish all the tasks I am responsible for.
Also the fact that I had many experiences with different class of girls taught me a lot. I can tell in 10 seconds where the girl is from and her background, whether she is or used to sleep with guys for money and whether she is only interested in my money. I can tell that just by listening to the way she speaks Thai, by looking at her face and body and by the way she is dressed.
Another positive point to speak Thai is that you will learn so many things that normal farangs will never know and you won't be tricked so easily by Thai people.
I do think that if a foreigner would like to live in Thailand, he has to speak Thai and has to know the local customs, habits and culture. Otherwise, Thai people (girls especially) might lead him to suicide…
I am enjoying a lot in Thailand, I've got a quite good job, I love my girlfriend, I love my friends and I love this country. So Stickman, I really think that moving to Thailand before 30 years is not a problem at all. If you survive here on your own, I think you will learn many things that could help you to survive anywhere else.
However, I do not plan to stay in Thailand forever as if I decide one day to have children, I wouldn't want them to grow up here, at least not before they graduate.
I started off agreeing with what you had written, but as the submission went on, I couldn't help that feel that you had adopted the thinking of the locals – which is all very good and well and completely your choice.
What was a little difficult to deal with was the tone and what I felt was perhaps not always the truth. For example, when you say that your girlfriends would buy you a car or a condo, I SERIOUSLY DOUBT IT!