Thai Recipe For Brother Recovery

We have cooked up this Thai Recipe for Brother Recovery with the idea of dishing out some thought for food to our readers. Of course we have put it through rigorous testing prior to publishing. Please let us know how it worked for you.

As you will see below, Thai cuisine is adaptable, innovative and dynamic. Indeed cooking can be meditative, relaxing and enjoyable.

Holidaying in Thailand has a special flavor that can be decomposed into five basic sensations, generally in the following order: spicy, sweet, salty, bitter and sour, the last is the one leaving that bad aftertaste in your mouth. This recipe illustrates
how we brought out all of these five flavors to play together harmoniously.

"Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor."
Truman Capote

Level: intermediate
Prep time: 96 Hrs
Cook time: 24 Hrs
Serving: 3

Ingredients

1 desperate holidaying Farang in Thailand
1 sick Farang brother in Hong Kong
1 religious Thai girlfriend from Patong
A copy of a Buddhist chanting book

Step 1: 1 small spirit house

6 incense sticks
Some flowers garlands, fresh and fragrant
Some cigars, no need Cubans, any origin is OK
1/2 cup of Red Thai whiskey

Step 2: 1 large spirit house

5 Red cashew apples
1 bunch of bananas, all yellow (brown
freckles acceptable)
4 bottles (50 cl) of mineral water
3 incense sticks
1 foliage plant

Directions

Preparation

1. Reserve flights and hotels rooms for two Farang brothers that want to holiday 10 days in Patong, Phuket Island, Thailand.
2. Place one Farang in a Thai Airways plane that will fly from Hong-Kong to Phuket. I prefer the direct flight TG609 as it is more convenient than taking two consecutive flights with a stopover in Bangkok.
3. Set aside his brother and let him burn with fever in his Hong Kong hotel room.
4. Add a pinch of guilty conscience and a pinch of enthusiasm in traveling the Farang mind, so that they make up for each other.
5. Add a beautiful Thai girlfriend to the Farang. Buyers beware! For this recipe it is better to shop in the bars as you have not too much time to lose in the searching and selecting process. But as the best Thai cooking uses the freshest ingredients available to create the unique Thai taste, please make sure to choose a fresh and decent one, avoid the burnt out and beaten-up ones and also the newcomer that may be too green, otherwise the Farang brother will be toast.
6. Let them marinate 4 days in the Soi Bangla area. The marinade can contain: Singha beer, Ladydrink, bplaa ráa, sea water, massage oil, sliced exotic fruits, lemongrass, chilli …
7. Once they will be together marinating, they will start to disgorge and exchange various body fluids and they may need to be rinsed again and again. Don’t forget to cover the Farang with the appropriate protection in the appropriate place.
8. Also, remove some cash daily from the Farang’s pocket and place it in the Thai girlfriend’s purse to ensure that the marinade will not turn sour.
9. As the news from the sick brother is not encouraging and in spite of the spicy and sweet, the Farang will get bitter and more bitter by the day. Thus he will want to stop his holidays and return to Hong Kong to take care of him. No need to stir things up as a plan is already simmering in the back of the Thai girlfriend’s mind…

Step 1

1. Like every Tuesday afternoon, let her clean the small spirit house she has in her room, discard the faded flower garlands and empty the glasses of stale whiskey. Her moves will be efficient and graceful and she can be fast without giving the impression she is hurrying. Combine the Farang to this task as the lady is a little bit short and needs some help to reach the spirit house.
2. Dish up to Buddha fresh flower garlands, a few shots of that strange red colored whiskey and a bunch of cigars. Remark: the important thing here is to adapt the offering to the Buddha that
   has been chosen for the spirit house. As can be seen on the picture below, the central effigy representing Buddha is a metallic statuette of a former King of Siam, accompanied by two women that have been his preferred concubines in a harem
   of 250. You guessed it, this king loved cigars, whiskey and women! Such good qualities made him a good candidate to be elevated to the rank of Buddha. The lady chose this one among many other possible candidates because she is a bargirl and
   this Buddha is supposed to bring her good luck in her job: good and kind customers with similar tastes to this king.
3. Skim through the Buddhist chanting book and strain the wheat from the chaff to find the appropriate prayers. Remark: this book must contain Thai and English transcriptions of the original
   Buddhist holy texts that are written in Pali because it is more convenient for both parties. A cheap one can be found at 75 THB in the Bookazine store of in Jungceylon mall.
4. Add the incense sticks and let her light them and share in 2 equal parts.
5. Place the Farang and the Thai girlfriend kneeled in front of the spirit house while holding the smoking sticks in their hands clasped together in a wai.
6. Let them bow 3 times and pray together to Buddha for the recovery of the brother.
7. As the Thai girlfriend is more experienced in these matters, and also cleverer, she will promise to Buddha to offer him 4 bottles of mineral water and some fruits if her prayers are answered.
8. Now relieved, as they are confident in the power of Buddha, you can put them back to marinate.

Step 2

1. 24 hours later; buy the cashew apples, the bunch of bananas, a foliage plant and the 4 bottles of mineral water. You can find these valuable items in Carrefour which is located in the already mentioned Junceylong shopping mall. The big advantage is that the prices are tagged.
2. Place these offerings near the big spirit house that is in front of the Farang hotel and reserve them. This is to remind Buddha what is his mission in case he forgot.
3. Go to the reception desk of the hotel and try to reach the sick brother in Hong Kong.
4. As everybody can expect, the brother is nowhere to be seen in Hong Kong.
5. Then very confidently, you can go back to the spirit house, dish up the offerings and do some thanks prayers.
6. Let the situation simmer a few more hours and put back to marinate for the night.
7. The next morning, just before serving, make a quick inquiry at the reception desk for the brother’s room number.
8. And then you get handed on a silver plate the Thai style brother recovery that will make everybody happy.

Small spirit house	Small spirit house
Theravada Buddhist chanting book	Offering on the large spirit house

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Stickman's thoughts:

Fabulously original and well thought out!