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Only in Thailand

  • Written by Anonymous
  • January 30th, 2008
  • 6 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

PLEASE NOTE: The following is a fictionalized account of a recent event. Some names of persons and places have been changed to protect the GUILTY. Any similarities to existing personalities are purely coincidental.

Papa pai nai – Papa pai duai. Every day, Papa hears these words as he walks for his late afternoon Caffe Latte presto in Coffee World. But today was to be different. Today, as he walked on Soi 4, away from his condominium, he heard running footsteps behind him. He thought nothing of it. The footsteps caught up with him and 2 hands jerked violently on his “Camel” shirt. Papa was physically attacked by 2 unknown Thai women about 40 years old. He came from the “old school”, he could defend himself – but not against women. The women were agitated. Their English was poor under the best conditions. There was something about “Camera – Picture – my friend – What you do?” One of the women was extremely violent – the other merely stood by – maybe for “moral support?” Papa constrained the hands of the attacking warrior. He said “leave me alone” and was able to twist away. In the background Papa saw the familiar figure of a tall young German with his “rucksack” over his shoulder, his cellphone pressed against his ear standing in front of the laundry, where the “warriors” seemed to have come from.

40 minutes later, Papa walked back toward the locked elevator lobby glass enclosure in his condominium building. He heard rapid footsteps behind him. “Not again” – he thought. But he was only a few steps away from the “safety” of the locked glass door – AND – the safety of the guard standing next to it. The footsteps caught up with him. Hands jerked on his shirt again. Good he wore a Camel shirt today. The silk shirts he sometimes wears would have been torn to shreds by now. Papa called the guard “please help – please call the police”. But the guard just smiled uncomfortably. Well – at least he felt guilty. At Papa's repeated insistence, the security tape was made available later the next day and it showed clearly the guard did not move more than 12 inches during the whole episode of about 2 minutes. “Frozen into place”?

The security tape showed so obviously that the “violent, crazy woman” pushed and shoved against Papa to prevent him from entering the elevator lobby. But he squeezed through the now open glass door. Then he pushed the door shut against 2 straining overweight, but fit women, until the solenoid locked the door into place. 6 – 8 individuals had by now assembled outside the elevator enclosure – to discuss today’s politics? But Papa felt “safe” – for now.

A few days earlier Papa sat in the lobby playing with his camera. The lens did not come out. He forced the lens out. He tested the camera and took a picture, just as a young German (28 or so) walked out with his Thai "girlfriend" – right into the picture. The next day Young German appeared to be waiting for Papa in the lobby. When Papa walked in with grocery bags in both hands, Young German jumped up and said “you want another picture?” Papa replied “You alive – still?” and walked on. An apparently scared voice called after him “What you mean? – What are you going to do?”

Papa was very familiar with this "young tall German".

About 2 years earlier Young German "chased" Papa’s girlfriend of 4 years (she was 36 then). Young German rented a unit once on same floor – BEFORE Papa became suspicious. He claims “SHE chased me” – she claims “HE chased me”. But whatever – he was very tall, handsome, strong, probably 10 years her junior – and less than half Papa’s age. He always sports a sharp “military like” crew cut with ends held straight up with wax. He works in the airline industry in Germany – Papa has been told – and seems to spend all his immense free time in Bangkok. The good clean air in Bangkok attracts so many.

Papa was so old he does not even lie about his age anymore – nor does he advertise it. Would Papa play hard to get to a 24 year old attractive woman? Well – not a chance. Papa sees Young German with so many different – but always short – ladies. Would seem to kiss him she would have to stand on a chair. But kiss may not be his interest. Perhaps he wears his brains on his dick (Schwanz – in German).

One day, 2 years ago, Papa was reading newspaper in the lobby. Young German saw Papa and sneaked up to the 20th floor – but the old man was not blind. Sure enough Young German stood in the door frame of the unit “talking”. Papa called out angrily "what the fxxx are you doing here?" and moved menacingly toward the end of long hallway – but he let trembling, sheepish Young German with back sliding against wall – pass – without interference. Young German now claims “She called me”, she said “It’s not my fault – he keeps on chasing me”.

Now, 2 years later, Papa is attacked by 2 Thai women. Warriors in the army of Young German? During Papa's younger years one fought one's own battles, one did not hide behind “a woman’s frock”. Well – times have changed.

Maybe Young German was persuaded by his current "Thai girlfriend" more familiar with Thai practices, that there just MAY BE a good reason for his paranoia and the best way to fight a battle is “let your army do it”.

The events cumulated with a “gathering” of all parties involved, including the police. The Security Manager requested that all actions be stopped today. Papa replied – he did not start any action – therefore he had nothing TO stop. Papa emphasized he will strictly abide to Thai laws, always. He will not and has never resorted to violence in this country or anywhere else. However, Papa considered the actions taken by Young German to “leash his warriors” against him, by any-one's laws, including just common decency, illegal violence and despicable. Papa MAY choose to file action against Young German and his warriors, at any time if he is so inclined.

Stickman's thoughts:

Assuming that there is not more to the story, Papa *should* file charges against whoever it was who assaulted him. From what you have told us, Papa has not broken any laws. However, with that said, soi 4 is home to some highly undesirable characters, the sort of people who think nothing of upping the ante to "uncomfortable levels".