Readers' Submissions

It Isn’t As Bad As It Is At Home! Really!

  • Written by Anonymous
  • January 12th, 2008
  • 4 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


Preface – I am a late 30s Australian who lived in Thailand for approximately 2 years from 2002. I worked in a white collar role (not teaching), lived hard, partied hard and when the money stopped I WENT BACK HOME!

I am now happily married to a lovely Asian lady in Australia. I met her in Australia. My Thai wife found a new sponsor… (Tales for another Stickman story, I believe). However (from my Bangkok days) I still like the odd massage with a happy ending. A bit of variety to make me crave my wife more! I prefer not the cross the "full service" line. I basically have the same moral basis for sex as the former US President, Bill Clinton.

I think it is only fair that readers understand how terrible the "exotic massage services" are in Australia. I mean, if these people as so unhappy, surely these people need to be realistic about making the return trip back home (since Thailand is so terrible!). I can only speak from the Australian perspective but I fear it is the same in most first world countries.

It almost makes me want to come back to LOS! Children and the fact that I would get into serious trouble with my new wife stop me.

The worst RnT (rub n tug) experience cost me A$60 (2000 baht) in Caboolture, Brisbane, Australia.

This is my second report / submission. Unfortunately it covers one of my worst Asian experiences. And it was in Australia…

I was in the Caboolture area (working class Brisbane, Australia) for work. Feeling you know what. And then proceeded to get the local paper. Under the Exotic Relaxation section was an Asian girl. I thought this was good. I rang her. She sounded ok. $60 for an hour with a happy ending.

Went to the house and it went down hill fast. Firstly her sister (or other people) were home. I hate going to a family home for sexual services. Secondly she was a 50+ dumpy Pilipino. The home had that shocking thing called low class attempt at being trendy / homely.

Ok. I will give this a try. I undressed and she wanted the $60 straight away. That is fine. She went and put that $60 in another room. Then proceeded to give me a massage. Nothing sexual. I started with the complements. Saying how cute she looked. Spoke about how life was. Did she have kids etc. I tried to put my hand up her dress. Very nice legs for a dumpy Pilipino. She discreetly moved away.

I tried again. Asking if I could see her legs etc. No. I asked her to take her dress off. No. It was 50 minutes of massage and a 10 minute rub and tug. When the rub and tug came she lowered her top to reveal her breasts. Lovely breasts for an old Pilipino, but the breasts of an old woman nonetheless. I manhandled those tits for a good 10 minutes. Then I finished.

On leaving, her even uglier sister was in the lounge. Not even a hello. I felt like the sex monger I am. Why take the $60 if you don't provide the service? Why advertise in the exotic relaxation section if you are a prude?

This is clearly a case of false advertising. Nothing horny about her in the least.

Massage 6/10
Dumpy old Pilipino 2/10
Tits 4/10
Overall experience 2/10

Please take note of this and realise the following:-

1) No real GFE (girlfriend experience) is to be had in Brisbane or the developed world for less than A$1000 a night!

2) The environment is totally different. In Asia the girls do less mileage but stay longer. In Australia the guys drive them much harder. Because when you are paying over A$100 an hour you expect results / effort. However in Asia it is A$40 for a sleep over <That's at the bottom end of the scale and that price won't be available for much longer I reckonStick>. So there is no need to start pumping the instant you two are alone.

3) The grass is always greener on the other side!

If there are any Australians in Thailand who are thinking about going home there are a few terrible shocks:-

1) Aussie girls are so ugly compared to their Bangkok sisters.

2) Asians girls in Australian know they are hot.

3) Girls who you would not even contemplate in the Nana car park will not even consider you in Australia!

4) Asian girls in Australia don't say "hansum man – where you go?"

5) House prices have soared. Average house in Brisbane is A$400,000. (Average in year 2000 was $130,000-)

6) $100 does not buy much in Australia!

Personally, if my world ended (divorce etc)… I would be on the first discount flight to LOS. It is always good to know that if I lost all my money… My wife deserted me… things go terrible… I could survive in Bangkok (and have a lovely Thai wife)!

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

Hehehe, yes, there is always Bangkok.

Oh, I cannot imagine being naughty in a commercial way like that in someone's home, while the family was cooking in another room. That is almost surreal!