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Freedonia

  • Written by Anonymous
  • January 11th, 2008
  • 8 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok



Well this thing now got me out of my retirement. I read the article you don't understand our culture by Sawadeee 2000. Nothing against it, but I have some things to add to it. Maybe you will understand Thai culture after reading this, maybe you will just get angry.

First of all: Where have you seen Thai culture today?

I have to pass. I walked around all day and I did only see people in Western culture clothes, driving Western culture cars, living in Western culture houses, using Western culture products. These Western culture products were aimed at an educated, 20 or 21st century consumer, not some zero to low educated and brainwashed person living in the middle ages. What would a 12th century English peasant do with a motorbike? Come to Thailand and see it. No wonder we freak out at the Thais all the time but this has nothing to do with a culture. It is simply the way they use our products and our yeah our social system that makes us mad. Children running our society, our hospitals, our schools would also make us mad, and these children I mentioned just now do not need to be from another culture. Thais are just not grown-ups, well they are brainwashed and indoctrinated at a very early age not to ask questions so they simply can not learn anything. IT IS NOT THE CULTURE!

Now you will tell me I forgot Thai food.

Thai food is fusion food. It comes from all over the place, India, China, Kentucky – you name it. The original Thai food probably is rice. What the Thais are good at, and I really mean it, is sex and cooking. They can take a dish from another cuisine and transform it into Thai style (means adding spices and MSG, often make it much better than it originally was). The thing is, after the transformation, they will claim that it is Thai food. Well in a way it is, in another way it isn't. On the other hand, I live next to an upmarket shopping centre, and all the American, Korean, Japanese, Chinese, French restaurants are full, but none of the Thais want to eat at the Thai restaurants, they are always empty. Well probably the Thais think it's not tasty there, well I found it tasty, but that's another story. You would also not want to cook for Thais, they are so fuzzy about food and very hard to satisfy.

Now you will mention religion.

What I have to say about Thai Buddhism is that its just for show. The Thais just adapt their religion to their needs, like they do it with everything else. Homosexuality for instance. Complete nonsense is that Buddhism tolerates homosexuality. Go to Buddhist Burma and find about that. There they don't like gays. I have nothing against homosexuals at all, but to say that Buddhism here makes people tolerant, is nonsense. The Thais are bah-gam, they are crazy for sex so they are much more open to explore of kinds of sex and homosexuality is one of the options. Of course, the whole Thai race is feminine in contrast to the Burmese which are more masculine and therefore have won almost or all the wars against Thailand. If its true that Buddhism makes people tolerant, then we would have a Stickman board, would we. Thais are probably the most intolerant people on the face of the earth. If you are not going exactly their way, you will not be part of them. The Chinese here can tell you about that. Try to be different here, even as Thai. Try not to like the you know who and see what happens. They are set in their way like reborn Christians. And they are missionaries too. They want to convince you to like you know who and their religion and everything in this country. If you don't like it, go home or die on the spot. What I am saying is that the Thais are good in finding excuses for themselves and if they would be Moslems, they would claim that Islam is tolerant. In fact, the most homosexuals, probably more than in Thailand you will find in Arab societies. Ever thought about that?

Now the following has nothing to do with the title and it is just for fun and maybe over the top and just mean.

Have you ever compared a native of Freedonia with a Thai? Well, I did, and not just yesterday. For a year I am feeling there are more similarities than both would admit. Here are my findings:

– Patriotism. You should check out the message board for the movie Ketchup for Mayonnaise if you still have doubts that the Freedonians have lost it. The movie is doing very poorly in Freedonia, because it criticizes the society, the government, the media, everything. While it is doing well in Europe, Freedonians just can't look in the mirror anymore without idolizing themselves, same as the Thais. The quantity of national flags disturbing the view is similar, yeah even the colours are the same!

– Shallow personality. When I deal with Freedonians, I know that they like to stay on the surface and not like to be dragged into conversation about more than the weather, the same thing goes for the Thais, who just like to talk about food, the weather and Manchester City.

– No real friendships. I had a neighbour, a Freedonian, ex football trainer. I liked the guy. He seemed to know a lot of movies that I liked. But when he moved out, he did not even say goodbye. I met a lot of Freedonians over the years and without any exception, all connections have died with them where as I am still very much in contact with people I met in South America, Europe, Israel, and Africa even I have not seen them in many years, but they write emails and phone me sometimes. Ah yeah, one Freedonian still writes emails to me, he is from Richport It is quite funny, that I feel much closer to him (we speak Spanish) than to white Freedonians who are supposed to have a Nordic background.

– Ignorance of the world outside. As you know, Freedonians can not point out France on the world map, and the Thais cant do that also. We don't want to learn seems to be the motto here and I cant blame them. Both countries have everything they need within their borders.

– Can't speak foreign languages. That's right. Why blame a Thai if he cant speak a second language if you cant speak a second language yourself?

– Naivety. The first time I understood that the Freedonians are pretty naïve was when I was 17. I stayed at the Hotel Cosmos in Moscow and drank at the bar. A couple of Americans sat next to me and asked me where I was from. I said that I was Russian. Drunk enough, told them my father was a Red Army general who had the keys to nuclear bombs. I told them I hated Freedonia and we would launch an attack within a week. As funny as it sounds, they pretty much believed every word I said. The Thais also can not distinguish between the various kinds of white people on the planet. For them we are one big bleached bunch of cretins without culture.

– People from various backgrounds form an artificial union. That's right. There is nothing uniting Thailand except one man. When he will be no more think of Yugoslavia after Tito. Freedonia are also an artificial nation under the greenback. I am not sure what keeps them together. Possibly it is the individualism. In other words: The right to only care for yourself and take as much as you can get.

– Both countries like to believe in myths and fairytales. This actually goes for all the western countries. We make fun of the Thais that they believe in ghosts and fairytale stories about their past, but what is the difference in believing in ghosts and believing in God? And about making up stories, the West especially Freedonia is quite good in producing legends: For instance 1. The legend of free speech (try to have a different opinion about the Holocaust, HIV=Aids, 9/11 and very popular in Europe now: Global warming). 2. Justice will triumph (just replace justice with money) 3. The dishwasher to millionaire myth… and so on. The people in the West also believe that they are free. Its funny that in most totalitarian regimes, including Thailand, I have felt more free that in the West. What good is it that you can vote for whoever you like but get court-martialled for a laughable bagatelle? I can not stop to read the news from my home country and how much it has jumped the shark the last 20 years. A society falls when the parents start to seek admiration from their children.

– Importance of Face. This is probably the biggest similarity. Freedonians like to show how much they have, so do the Thais. Both cultures if you will spend more money than they earn. The credit crisis in Freedonia just confirms that.

– Hedonism. Hedonism is the philosophy that pleasure is the most important pursuit. Maybe in Thailand there is more gregarious hedonism, in Freedonia more egoist hedonism.

Ok I hope this was entertaining. No harm meant. Please have a different opinion and write it to Stickman, or vote for change if you live in Freedonia. It's time.


Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

I think it was Bangkok Barry who said that we have most of us actually have much more in common than we have differences. I think he said it very well.