Getting The Bargirls Out Of The Girl

I will start with a bit of background on myself. I am 30 years old. Into sport and keeping fit. I am of half Chinese half Indian origin and considered to be good looking (guess I can't claim modesty LOL). I spend most of my time between the UK and Malaysia where we have family business in both countries. I would say that I spend on average 2-3 months a year in 2-3 week stays Thailand just for recreation and also it is not difficult to run our Malaysian company from Thailand. I have been visiting the country for over 7 years. can speak Thai fairly fluently and after reading Stickman. other sites and the time spent in the country would consider myself to be alert to the ways of LOS.

I have never taken a girl out of any bar for play since my first year. however I still like to indulge in all that Thailand has to offer. So instead I get my pleasures in massage parlours. BJ bars and on the odd occasion freelancers. The reason for this being I enjoyed the respect the bars give the men that don't take girls out of bars and as a result I believe I have made many genuine (well for Thai standards) friends in the bars.

On a trip 3 years ago I was invited by a Thai friend to attend a party at his work at an advertising firm just outside Bangkok which was the birthday of the owner and all members off staff were allowed to bring a guest. I figured it might be interesting so I attended.

The party was OK. The usual with lots to eat. lots to drink and lots of eyes on the foreigners. I noticed a girl at the party who was stunning. light skinned. Tall for a Thai and had a beautiful body. It is fair to say I spent most of the party staring at this girl. To which she responded with shy smiles. Anyway after a few more beers I went over and talked to her in Thai only for her to reply in almost perfect English.

We got on very well that night and exchanged numbers at the end with who I now know to be Jen and went our separate ways. She had attended with her friend who worked there so my friend had no information on her for me. I text her that night saying it was fun to meet her and hope she had a goodnight. She replied with a similar text. We text each other over the next few days but only polite texts, nothing heavy then I asked if she would like to meet the next night for a meal or a drink. She replied she was busy and would call soon to arrange. I thought she was just being polite and left it at that. However a few days later she called my cell asking if I was free that night. I was so we met up, had dinner then just talked for hours in the restaurant and went our separate ways again after which I was in lust.

Now a bit of background on Jensen. She is 29 years old and her parents live in Phitsanulok and are both teachers. She has studied at Bangkok university and now works for a law firm as a legal assistant outside of the city. She has a very nice apartment and always dresses more European than Thai. She is a shy person and doesn't really drink often and even then only drinks wine. Also I'm not just saying this because of my interest but she really is stunning. She is often asked in places to pay farang rates before she can convince them she is Thai..

We start calling each other daily for the next few days and after about a week we go on our second date. We watch a film at the cinema then go for some drinks in Spasso (a posh bar). At about 2am we call it a night. I ask her if she would like to come to my hotel for a drink as she didn't have work the next day she could stay with me and we could spend the next day together as I had to go back to Malaysia for a few weeks the day after. She agreed but made it clear we were only to sleep. I felt a bit gutted but was patient. We spent the next day together just shopping and have fun (I've done all the tourists sites many times and they don't really interest me anymore) whilst shopping we go into the Lancome store and she says that her perfume is running low and she needs to get some more. The bottle she picked up was expensive at around 3,500 baht considering we hadn't even slept together yet. But we'd had fun and so I passed over my card to the sales assistant who was looking in my direction for payment. As Jen looked up from her back and saw this exchange she had a genuine look of shock on her face. Then took my card back from the assistant and handed it back to me almost angrily stating she had her own money and then handed her visa card over. (I have been out with a few non bar Thai girls before but in all my years this was the first Thai girl I had come across with credit cards).

So we continued our relationship when I returned and after a few more dates it became sexual. We became close and spent a lot of time together over the next months. I never gave her money not because I didn't want to but didn't know how she would react after the perfume situation neither did she ask for money. In fact at times in some bars if I wasn't there and the bill came she would pay it herself and refuse to take the money back.

This became as normal as a relationship could be in any country except for the times I wasn't there. But then we would talk regularly and send emails etc.

I had no intention of ever getting serious with a Thai girl and if I am honest I saw the relationship as perfect for when I was in Thailand but nothing more. I think ideally if we were going to stay together and carry on being happy then I would have to live in Thailand and I had no intention of that. I enjoy it too much as a visitor. We talked and she would have moved anywhere with me. But I always avoided the subject and liked it the way it was.

During our times together I would often take her to the bars I used to drink in. And at first she looked so lost. Up to the time I had taken her she had never been into a gogo bar or ever seen a connect 4 board in her life. Though after a while she became friends with some of the bar girls and would even on occasion meet with them on her own when I wasn't in the country. This wasn't a problem for me. Until I noticed her attitude was changing.

She had started to drink more, look at foreigners negatively something which was something she had never done before and she had started to talk about money more (still not asking for it. Just talking about it). I think there must have come a point when she realised that I would never commit to her. And I think these new friends had changed everything about her. She was still affectionate towards me but I would hear her talking disrespectfully about others and started talking how this bargirl has this many sponsors and that one has a house built for her etc. This coming from the shy girl when we first met was drastic changes.

So after about 2 years together I decided we should not see each other any more. Not because we had many problems or that I did not trust her. It was because I didn't want to commit my future to her and that seemed the only step left now.

I have seen many situations in LOS over the years but this was the first time I have seen somebody with a lot want to be somebody who wants what she already has. I mean it almost seemed she was jealous of the bargirls and wanted to be one.

I still see her occasionally and we sometimes talk on the phone. We didn't fall out badly and I still like her a lot. And I promised her that even though we are not together if ever she needed my help with anything I would always try to help her.

So her it is!…. I get a call last night 7 months after our split. I’m in the UK at the moment. Anyway we talk small talk as you do. Then she says "you remember you said you would help if I needed" to which I reply yes I remember. Then silence and "I would really like to build a house for my parents so can you help me?" I think that says enough!! I told her I would get back to her.

I have no intention whatsoever of building a house for relative strangers. But I am intrigued as to what led to that question.

I'm writing this submission because I like to understand things that happen in my life. But I am confused with this.

These are my scenarios as to the changes in Jen:

1. Is she asking this because she feels used by me. And figures she is owed something for her time and efforts

2. Have her new bar friends filled her head about how easy money can be made out of foreigners.

3. Does she genuinely need to build a house for her parent (who are fairly well off for Thai standards anyway).

4. Was she just playing the long game from the start and this is her reward.

5. Something I haven't thought of.

I understand without knowing her it is hard to say. But all comments opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Stickman's thoughts:

I am reluctant to say what I really think in some submissions, but for once I cannot hold back. I think a lot of what you wrote here is exaggerated BS. Visited many times as a tourist and speak almost fluently? Bollocks.

You made this woman sound as if she was some sophisticated hi-so chick with near flawless English who then mixes with bargirls and asks you to buy her family a house. 1 +1 = 5436 here.

I appreciate that you lost a girlfriend and am sorry to hear that, but taking her to naughty bars to hang out, well, what did you expect?

This submission just does not add up.